23 signs you are secretly a narcissist masquerading as a sensitive introvert

[á´…eparted]

My score was 55.

I like to be appreciated, and I can get VERY wrapped up in my own issues and concerns. But TBH that's less about narcissism, and more about being an only child.

Can confirm. It is definitely and only child thing. Been noticing that sort of pattern lately.

 

[EJCC]

Can confirm. It is definitely and only child thing. Been noticing that sort of pattern lately.

Same here. Just about every only child I know has that tendency.

I wonder if that makes it difficult for only children to become close to people? Or at least to become consistently close to people, without going AWOL for extended periods of time?

 

[thoughtlost]

Haha, I thought I'd 100% be a covert narcissist...
but I got a score of 61.
...I clearly think very highly of myself xDDD

 

[uumlau]

My score is 37.

From my reading of the questions, some are "introversion" questions and others are "narcissism" questions, based on my naive reading, so extroverts are going to score lower than introverts with low narcissism.

I only answered questions 5, 6 and 17 with a 4 or higher:

• I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people's troubles.
• I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.
• I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

53
The test has a few doozy questions and then a bunch of descriptions of feelings that are normal for the average person, and moreso for a Feeler who is also introverted.

___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.

This question represents a very normal feeling. It is the exception for a person to not agree with this most of the time. Most of the questions were along the same line.

Then there are doozies like these:

___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.

___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.

These are kinda funny for being so extreme and out of place with the other questions. Because the score does not differentiate between the severity of the question, but ranks every question as equal to measuring narcissism, i would have to suggest it is not designed correctly.

I suspect most people here have met narcissistic type people and/or have read enough to know that the actual clinical diagnosis of something like that is about a very destructive person. Such a person rarely cares enough about the feelings of others to consider how they feel about them. I teach a personality disorder person and she expects admiration, but it usually doesn't occur to her that other people have feelings or opinions about her. The whole point of narcissism is that others are insignificant compared to the magnificent 'Self'. I think the test is almost designed to tease sensitive people into worrying they are narcissists, which is also inconsistent with that actual state of narcissism.

Edit: I think the test would be better if it asked about reactions to those feelings. Many questions refer to plausibly normal feelings relating to success and social acceptance, but the real test is how the individual reacts when they feel failure or rejection? The narcissist will overreact and hurt other people in response. A sensitive person may post a high number, but it would be neutral when compared to the narcissists reaction. For example, if a person is rude at work, the narcissist will be sure to cause harm to that person, whereas a sensitive person will just feel sad longer than is necessary. Even a rather self-centered person is not necessarily a narcissist.

 

[Showbread]

42. Most of my thoughts are about other people, so this doesn't really surprise me. Plus I am blatantly extroverted.

 

[magpie]

[MENTION=14857]fia[/MENTION] Do you think any of the questions actually measure narcissism? Do you think it's possible for someone to overreact in a harmful way without being a narcissist?

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

50

 

[citizen cane]

Well damn. My score was 76.

 

[jcloudz]

im pretty low. 37

 

[geedoenfj]

69 wow I didn't see that coming!

 

[geedoenfj]

69 I didn't expect that

 

[Sil]

47

It would be lower, except I have to mark high on questions that ask if I spend a lot of time thinking about my own life. I do. Shit has to get done.

 

[Coriolis]

34

It is very easy for me to focus on my own thoughts, wants, and needs, but I don't do it to the exclusion of the thoughts and needs of others. I look for places where the two converge, so I can help myself and others at the same time.

 

[/DG/]

I got 85. That seems to be the highest in this thread. Do I win?

But here's the thing. I already know I am extremely self absorbed. This much has always been very obvious. However, this test seems entirely flawed to me. It seemed to focus on questions that relate to low self-confidence, which does not solely relate to narcissism. Additionally, isn't a narcissist defined as someone extremely self absorbed because they love themselves? I am the opposite.

From Wikipedia: "Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes."

 

[wolfy]

It was about 20-30. I couldn't be bothered doing it properly.

 

[Lexicon]

I got 30 33.

The three I scored above "1" were:

3 - I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others. I wasn't sure whether to answer with 3 or an affirmative 4, honestly. I get lost in thought about this stuff all the time, I care about it. But I'm not sure if by "entirely" it means I'd neglect other basic needs to focus on these things. I think I used to do that, codependent behavior to a degree. I feel like my energy is focused in a good place regarding all this. Nothing extreme. Just.. balanced?

(wait I'm totally doing it right now) *edit* changed to 4

4 - When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me. - I think this is related to social anxiety, in my case. It's not always consistent, nor as intense as it once was. Depends on the setting, too.

3 -I am especially sensitive to success and failure. Highly dependent on a given situation, so I put neutral since nothing else fit.

*edit* actually, this is true. Varying degrees, and my own personal definitions of success/failure, sure, but true all the same. 5.


I can't imagine anyone with a high score ever feeling truly fulfilled in life.. That constant need for external validation leaves limited room for growth.. connection.. it sounds horribly fragile, and empty, in a way.

 

[Ingrid in grids]

It seemed to focus on questions that relate to low self-confidence, which does not solely relate to narcissism. Additionally, isn't a narcissist defined as someone extremely self absorbed because they love themselves? I am the opposite.

From Wikipedia: "Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes."

Low self-esteem does very much relate to pathological narcissism. Narcissists are not really in love with their actual selves, but an idealised self-image, which they project to both hide from being seen as, and feeling like, their true selves. On a much deeper level, narcissists usually feel insecure, wounded, disenfranchised and defective.

The article talks about two different types of narcissists: overt and covert. Both have different strategies that they use to get attention, but both share "a common core of conceit, arrogance, and the tendency to give in to one's own needs and disregard others."

FWIW, I think it's a good article. It certainly describes a few people I've met.

I scored 48.

 

[/DG/]

I can't imagine anyone with a high score ever feeling truly fulfilled in life.. That constant need for external validation of their distorted sense of self worth... no room for growth.. it sounds horribly fragile. Hollow and empty.

I got a very high score, but I'm not constantly seeking external validation. I got it due to low self-confidence. The test metric is flawed anyhow.

 

[/DG/]

Low self-esteem does very much relate to pathological narcissism. Narcissists are not really in love with their actual selves, but an idealised self-image, which they project to both hide from being seen as, and feeling like, their true selves. On a much deeper level, narcissists usually feel insecure, wounded, disenfranchised and defective.

The article talks about two different types of narcissists: overt and covert. Both have different strategies that they use to get attention, but both share "a common core of conceit, arrogance, and the tendency to give in to one's own needs and disregard others."

Fine. I still don't fit in line with either of them. Many of these traits could easily fall in line with someone who has an avoidant personality, a dependent personality, a depressive personality, etc. I most definitely do not disregard others and I am most definitely not conceited. Like I said, I'm very self-absorbed, but not at all a narcissist.

Edit: My dad is most definitely a covert narcissist though. I know this because he is like me, but he often brags at how much of a good person he is. I do not.