[Traditional Enneagram] What Does A "Healthy" Four Look Like?

[Dreamer]

I think it may also involve sufficient emotional self-awareness. When the four learns to navigate through low moods, finds healthy ways to cope or/and even strength in their emotions. (Then again I've probably already forgot already what the four was about...)

See, it's the emotional strength and awareness I see in myself that does pique my curiosity of the 4. And it's true, that I've never quite felt "in" with any group I was a part of, no matter how often people would call me up to hang out. There are definitely things of E4 I do see in myself quite a lot actually, but I wonder if that is because I could be a "healthy" E4 or is that just tied to my Fi? There are also facets I see myself in 9 though. All in all, I see myself as being highly intune with my emotions and knowing how best to protect and nurture them. When I'm in my lows, I also have a fairly good grasp of how to wade through them and not let them consume me too much.

 

[Amargith]

You know how the epitome of an Se-user who's mastered his se is a person that is in full control over their body and because of that, can deal with situations that are life threatening, yet have a good chance to come out alive - whereas others that might follow would be fools to even attempt it?

For a 4, the same is true regarding the emotional realm, imho. That quote by Niesche where you if you stare into the Abyss long enough, it peers back into you (is that Niesche? ), is basically where a mature 4 would go: Yeah, so? The Abyss and me go way back - we're the best of friends. It's that point where you no longer fear any inner demons or dark emotions - be they yours or other's - because you no longer perceive them to be dark or demonic. And while they have their impact on you - as well they should, since there is significant value in that - it no longer scares the living daylights out of you. In fact, you relish the opportunities it presents you with. And it's not about conquering them or subduing them. It's really about befriending them and knowing their core, their truth, and their value, so you can channel them in the most constructive way and 'ride that emotional wave to its full potential' - like that a master Se-surfer would.

Those waves then become insight, wisdom and yes, transformation into beauty, art and visceral truths.

....or so I'd wager

 

[PumpkinMayCare]

See, it's the emotional strength and awareness I see in myself that does pique my curiosity of the 4. And it's true, that I've never quite felt "in" with any group I was a part of, no matter how often people would call me up to hang out. There are definitely things of E4 I do see in myself quite a lot actually, but I wonder if that is because I could be a "healthy" E4 or is that just tied to my Fi? There are also facets I see myself in 9 though. All in all, I see myself as being highly intune with my emotions and knowing how best to protect and nurture them. When I'm in my lows, I also have a fairly good grasp of how to wade through them and not let them consume me too much.

Like I said, I may have confused the 4 with some other enneagram, haven't looked into it for over a year.
I'm not quite sure either if having emotional awareness and strength is because I'm a four or because I'm an ENFP and it could be part of the Fi-package. Might do some research into it to find answers.

As for never feeling like a stable part of a group, that may be better explained with the Socionics Quadras. Maybe you aren't a four but a Delta Quadra (part of your Socionics type). One thing I remember clearly about the 4 is how they feel threatened when they don't stand out as the most individualistic person in a group - now take that and compare it to the Delta Quadra, who isn't in dire need to stand out but just doesn't want to be part of a group because they prefer being independent of group lives. "Delta Quadra types believe that if everyone just pursues their own interests and makes some accommodations for others, the group will be better off anyway. Delta Quadra types do not focus on building group identity or unity of purpose, but prefer for the group to remain splintered and decentralized."



Well, just a guess.

 

[Dreamer]

You know how the epitome of an Se-user who's mastered his se is a person that is in full control over their body and because of that, can deal with situations that are life threatening, yet have a good chance to come out alive - whereas others that might follow would be fools to even attempt it?

For a 4, the same is true regarding the emotional realm, imho. That quote by Niesche where you if you stare into the Abyss long enough, it peers back into you (is that Niesche? :thinking), is basically where a mature 4 would go: Yeah, so? The Abyss and me go way back - we're the best of friends. It's that point where you no longer fear any inner demons or dark emotions - be they yours or other's - because you no longer perceive them to be dark or demonic. And while they have their impact on you - as well they should, since there is significant value in that - it no longer scares the living daylights out of you. In fact, you relish the opportunities it presents you with. And it's not about conquering them or subduing them. It's really about befriending them and knowing their core, their truth, and their value, so you can channel them in the most constructive way and 'ride that emotional wave to its fully potential' - like that a master Se-surfer would.

Those waves then become insight, wisdom and yes, transformation into beauty, art and visceral truths.

....or so I'd wager

Beautiful, Amargith

At this point in my life, I can say that I have much less fear diving into my abyss than I once did. The demons have all been exposed to me, and while I still have triggers, they no longer get directed outwardly towards other people like they once have. I do see my emotions and value them as you describe too. I like the bolded above as that is how I view my emotions, negative and positive. Altogether, they create this rich inner experience for me, and each now outer experience is a new discovery internally as well.

Though I'm probably no 4, people's responses in this thread have been very insightful and it's been wonderful seeing this E type in a more positive light. I seem to only come across the negative for whatever reason.