[Traditional Enneagram] Birds of a Feather

[Duffy]

I thought I'd make a thread about wings. I'm sure most people are already aware of the concept, but for the sake of solidarity, a quick and dirty preface...

In enneagram, there's talk of wing theory. Basically, you are your type plus influence from neighboring types adjacent to you. So if you're a 1, then you have a 2 and 9 wing. I believe the theory is while both neighboring types have some influence with how the core type operates, there is a dominant wing that has the most influence. I was wondering what everyone's opinion on opposing wings are? Like someone you know with the same core type, but with different wings. Do they seem familiar to you, with only minor differences? Or are they totally foreign? Did you get along? Maybe you feel like you have more in common with others types. If so, why?

I just wanted to know what people's experiences are. I'll add my experience if this thread gets replies.

 

[Yama]

As a 9w1, I feel very different from 9w8s, but this is probably because 8 is the type I identify the least with (as a core type) and thus find it hard to understand the 9w8. But I think I probably am more common to a 9w8 than, say, a 1w9. Maybe. It depends. OCPD makes it more difficult.

 

[Masokissed]

7w8s are a lot more rugged than me. We can both be rebellious and playful and all that, but they're a lot more grown up - no, not grown up just more real. Realistic. I'm like a kid to them. But they're the ones with the kiddie temper tantrums sometimes (We both get pouty when we don't get our way, though.). It's impossible for us to get past being casual, there's just no way I can ever bond with them like I can with another 7w6. And I'm jealous of their fearlessness lol.

 

[á´…eparted]

I'm a 1w2, and I relate to 2's to some degree, but not too much.

I do not relate to 9's at all.

1w9's a relate to a bunch obviously, but they are often much more mellow/quiet than I am, and it can irk me.

 

[RobinSkye]

On tests, I tend to score highly as 3-6, but relate little to what I understand of 6.

 

[Duffy]

As a 9w1, I feel very different from 9w8s, but this is probably because 8 is the type I identify the least with (as a core type) and thus find it hard to understand the 9w8. But I think I probably am more common to a 9w8 than, say, a 1w9. Maybe. It depends. OCPD makes it more difficult.

This is something I've heard before. I wonder if it has to do with the popular images these types evoke. Type 8 and 9 are polar opposites in dealing with conflict, and type 1 seems like the middle ground so yea...makes sense. In my mind, I was able to reconcile the extremities with comparisons. For example, I think of 8w9s as grizzly bears, and I think of 9w8s as panda bears. They belong to the same family (Ursidae), but have their own particular quirks, triggers, and approach towards life.

I used to feel the same way about w3, only to find out later we have a lot more in common than I had previously imagined. I understand where 3s are coming from more than I give myself credit for.

 

[Duffy]

I'm a 1w2, and I relate to 2's to some degree, but not too much.

I do not relate to 9's at all.

1w9's a relate to a bunch obviously, but they are often much more mellow/quiet than I am, and it can irk me.

Do they seem too passive for you (1w9s)?

 

[Lady Lazarus]

It’s all in the anatomy, the location where 9w8’s have “cool” I have “emo”. Having any advantageous traits is alien to myself so I find that difficult to relate to. Not that I even relate to my own type's people well, that is, until they express certain issues. Then it's, "Wow this burns like hellfire, I'm going to like it".

^There's the emo I mentioned, I deliver apparently.

 

[fetus]

I'm typing as phobic 6w7/9w1/2w1 right now, but I don't even know anymore. You can never be sure with typology!

Tentatively: my sister is a 6w5, while I'm a 6w7. She's a lot more analytical, level-headed, and loner-ish than I am. Much more private and guarded. I tend to be more scattered, emotionally volatile, and frenetic. I'm sensitive, whimsical, and I feel like I take things a little less seriously. She comes off as quiet, serious, and not very friendly, whereas I think I'm friendly, nonchalant, and ingratiating. She tends more towards the "protect security" side of 6, and I tend more towards "constantly turn to others for support, guidance, and affirmation" side of 6. We're both paranoid and hypervigilant about things, and we can feed off each other's fears and hypothetical situations. She's a lot more focused and intense on things, getting more paranoid about a single path, whereas I tend to be a little more expansive. But even that varies. I'm more lighthearted, joking, not as averse to attention as she is. To my friends, I actually feel like I seem 7w6 - but there's still 6 fears and motivations under there.

We both have assertiveness and passiveness. I'm assertive in the things she's passive in, and vice versa. Maybe this could come from the fact that she's an ISTP and I'm INFP. She could also be 5w6, 8w9, or maybe 9w8, while I've typed as a few image types before. I think we both have a 2 fix, though.

 

[á´…eparted]

Do they seem too passive for you (1w9s)?

I wouldn't say so. They could be though (as could anyone).

 

[great_bay]

I am a 1w2. I have a preference for type 2 the helper. However, type 2 is the least interesting part of my tri-type. Is it my least used number. I have seen a few strong preference for type 2 on ISFJs. I know what they're like. I cannot image having a dominate type 2 like that. However, I have a moderate preference for type 1.

 

[Duffy]

It’s all in the anatomy, the location where 9w8’s have “cool” I have “emo”. Having any advantageous traits is alien to myself so I find that difficult to relate to. Not that I even relate to my own type's people well, that is, until they express certain issues. Then it's, "Wow this burns like hellfire, I'm going to like it".

^There's the emo I mentioned, I deliver apparently.

I guess 9w8s can seem "cool," because it doesn't look like they let stuff bother them, but they do blow up from time to time and that's pretty embarrassing. Sounds kinda like a 4 fix thing the stuff about advantageous traits being alien. I know I've felt that way reading descriptions. It sounds way better than how I am. I relate more to ugly elements.