The 9w1 versus the 9w8

[DoctorTypo]

I recently tested enneagram 9. I am 27 so I don't know if this is different for me. I did research to verify my subtype with little success, so I wanna share what I know and hope someone helps out.

Similarities between 9w1 and 9w8
Both are peace seeking and dislike conflict
Both have trouble understanding themselves
Both's biggest fear is losing loved ones and closest friends
Both are detached and easy going

Differences
1) 9w1 is more uptight and 9w8 is more playful
2) If a 9w1 is late they'll blame themselves, "I didn't start early" while the 9w8 will say "there was a lot of traffic". 9w1 takes the blame and 9w8 puts it on others
3) If a 9w1 has a problem they will ignore it and hope it goes away and keep their peaceful state. If a 9w8 has a problem they will come out of their peaceful state for a few seconds, overanalyze and destroy the problem and then go back to their comfort
4) 9w1 is more refined and 9w8 is more rugged
5) 9w1s hate being incompetent or wrong x 9w8s hate being controlled or told what to do
6) 9w1 will be more particular, like maybe they will not want to try new things in sex and stick to comfort zones. They are like the peaceful teacher that can be chilled and uptight. 9w8 is kind of like a dog, playful and passionate and will try a lot of things if they are comfortable with the person, in fact 9w8 may cross boundaries
7) 9w1s will have high expectations set for themself and be more hard working. 9w8 will be more easy going and don't care for expectations as much as the 1 wing
8) 9w1s will be critical and objective in times of conflict, and bitchy. It will take a whole lot to push the 9w8 to their limit but once they are they will attack the other person wrecklessly but can return to their peaceful state easily
9) 9w1s can suppress their anger and people around them don't see them angry, but 9w8s are openly angry and need to vent
10) 9w1s will hold grudges if something bad is said to them. 9w8 will forget and not really care, but if you do something really bad 9w8 will be very vengeful and 9w1 will not be that much

DId I get this right??? Please give me more so I can verify
I relate to both of these so what am I? Do you have to have a wing in Ennea?

[Hawthorne]

Another ENTP 9? Well by golly gee, I am so happy to meet you. Welcome to the forum.

I don't relate to the third point under the 9 similarities but it's common to lose sght of myself in descriptions that focuses on people and relationships so i pay it little mind. I also wouldn't say I'm conflict avoidant but I rarely go out of my way to start it unless there's good reason to. Or I'm irritated enough.

2. I rarely prescribe blame at all since I quickly slip into "it doesn't matter, we'll work around it" mode when things start going wrong. But you're right that internalizing blame, dwelling on, and guilt tripping over it isn't really something I do unless I'm really stressed out.

3 Haha. "rugged".

I think 5 is spot on and I'm willing to bet 5w4 and 9w1 are frequent type swaps because of it. Used to type as a 5w6cp myself.

"in fact 9w8 may cross boundaries " story of my life especially outside of the relationship context. 4/5 times the effects are positive since it's almost always out of interest or curiousity (and with permission?) as opposed to something deliberately malicious.

The rest is fits well enough on the w8 side where the only thing I can really do is add nuance about my personal experiences if only I were in a position to do so.

[DoctorTypo]

Another ENTP 9? Well by golly gee, I am so happy to meet you. Welcome to the forum.

I don't relate to the third point under the 9 similarities but it's common to lose sght of myself in descriptions that focuses on people and relationships so i pay it little mind. I also wouldn't say I'm conflict avoidant but I rarely go out of my way to start it unless there's good reason to. Or I'm irritated enough.

2. I rarely prescribe blame at all since I quickly slip into "it doesn't matter, we'll work around it" mode when things start going wrong. But you're right that internalizing blame, dwelling on, and guilt tripping over it isn't really something I do unless I'm really stressed out.

3 Haha. "rugged".

I think 5 is spot on and I'm willing to bet 5w4 and 9w1 are frequent type swaps because of it. Used to type as a 5w6cp myself.

"in fact 9w8 may cross boundaries " story of my life especially outside of the relationship context. 4/5 times the effects are positive since it's almost always out of interest or curiousity (and with permission?) as opposed to something deliberately malicious.

The rest is fits well enough on the w8 side where the only thing I can really do is add nuance about my personal experiences if only I were in a position to do so.

I don't know which side I err on
I really think conflicts are stupid and never cause good (well, ALMOST never) but I have hit people when I had no choice. And well I'm very playful, but ENTPs are said to be like that too so idk.

[Hawthorne]

I don't know which side I err on
I really think conflicts are stupid and never cause good (well, ALMOST never) but I have hit people when I had no choice. And well I'm very playful, but ENTPs are said to be like that too so idk.

I would probably recommend focusing on your point 5 under differences. Tbh, I don't relate to One's motivations at all even if, behavior wise, I can become a persnickety perfectionist with things I'm passionate about and even borrow some of its coping mechanisms. At the end of the day, the concepts of right and wrong, pure and corrupt, good and bad don't matter to me and reconcilling my relationship with them and reality is not a war I'm interested in fighting.

But Eight's loss of "innocence" and the resulting cynical drive to challenge, test, and defend speaks to me pretty strongly.

I think both 1 and 8 distrust reality but in different ways. 1 is frustrated that this "ugly world" is so far from their ideal. Eight...I think Eight is just trying to survive. And what better way to protect yourself than making sure your not at anyone or anything else's mercy?

[SearchingforPeace]

For an extra difference, there are the physical descriptions. Per physical descriptions, 9w8 is big and 9w1 is thin, among other things.

9/8 has a tendency to be physically big. Many 9/8s have long, solid bones, and they are often remarkably strong. If they are healthy, they move with a powerful, fluid grace. If unhealthy, they can be quite clumsy and uncoordinated. Because they would rather not be the subject of much attention, and they feel no need to be different, they usually dress in traditional, acceptable clothing, seldom flashy or odd. Like 9/1s, 1/9s, and 6/5s, their particular brand of utter normality may be one of their most distinguishing features

Because they usually do not want to be noticed, average 9/1s almost always dress as inconspicuously as possible. They wear the most normal, culturally unremarkable clothing they can find. They really want to be as invisible as possible. Physically, the 9/1s with the strongest one-wings tend to be thin, while those with less one energy can sometimes become soft and pudgy. Most 9/1s are of an intermediate buIld.

[Enneagram Type 9] Enneatype 9 and wings.

[Kasper]

How you relate to critical v rage is important, as is the directing inward v outward. Some of the points of distinction you raise aren't things I would say I'm distinctly one over the other on though, even though my w8 is clear, it's not that I disagree with the points, just that they can both be of relevance based on the core 9 aspect.

My suggestion, if figuring out your wing is of importance to you, is to read up on 8s and 1s, in particular their motivators and fears and see how you relate to them.

[Kasper]

I don't know which side I err on
I really think conflicts are stupid and never cause good (well, ALMOST never) but I have hit people when I had no choice. And well I'm very playful, but ENTPs are said to be like that too so idk.

I don't see playful as a point of distinction, not when we're talking ENTPs. I know another ENTP with the same typing as me except with a 1 wing and he is just as playful as I am, perhaps even more so as he keeps things lighter and doesn't have rage moments.

The hitting though, was there literally no choice? Cause if it wasn't about self protection then that doesn't easily align with 9w1.

I think 5 is spot on and I'm willing to bet 5w4 and 9w1 are frequent type swaps because of it. Used to type as a 5w6cp myself.

Heh, point 5 is the one I could most clearly see myself on either side of. It's correct, however it's about priorities, I can't stand being incompetent or wrong (if seen by others) and get angry at myself when I am, however I will not allow anyone to control me or told what to do. The latter is less acceptable.

[DoctorTypo]

For an extra difference, there are the physical descriptions. Per physical descriptions, 9w8 is big and 9w1 is thin, among other things.





[Enneagram Type 9] Enneatype 9 and wings.

Lol no offense but I think defining an Enneagram type by physical bulk is dumb.

[DoctorTypo]

I would probably recommend focusing on your point 5 under differences. Tbh, I don't relate to One's motivations at all even if, behavior wise, I can become a persnickety perfectionist with things I'm passionate about and even borrow some of its coping mechanisms. At the end of the day, the concepts of right and wrong, pure and corrupt, good and bad don't matter to me and reconcilling my relationship with them and reality is not a war I'm interested in fighting.

But Eight's loss of "innocence" and the resulting cynical drive to challenge, test, and defend speaks to me pretty strongly.

I think both 1 and 8 distrust reality but in different ways. 1 is frustrated that this "ugly world" is so far from their ideal. Eight...I think Eight is just trying to survive. And what better way to protect yourself than making sure your not at anyone or anything else's mercy?

SAME! 8s stuff speaks a lot to me. Like I don't care about starving children in Africa, but I'll beat you if you take my food. I become more caring when I'm in a good mood.

[DoctorTypo]

How you relate to critical v rage is important, as is the directing inward v outward. Some of the points of distinction you raise aren't things I would say I'm distinctly one over the other on though, even though my w8 is clear, it's not that I disagree with the points, just that they can both be of relevance based on the core 9 aspect.

My suggestion, if figuring out your wing is of importance to you, is to read up on 8s and 1s, in particular their motivators and fears and see how you relate to them.

I don't care about being bad but I'm ENTP and thinkers usually don't have those feeler worries. If it means incompetence then no, it doesn't matter much to me and not NEARLY as much as being a wimp/in someone's control bothers me. Even when people try to help me, I hate being told what to do.

Please elaborate on inward and outward rage. When I'm angry I go "fuck this guy, he doesn't understand what to do. Fuck my boss, he's a controlling shit that needs to die" etc. I don't blame myself ever. But sometimes I can be a bit insecure and wonder if I did something wrong. Like "why does this always happen to me? Ugh, wtf do I do wrong"

But I blame others always. Being wrong is okay lol, there's a next time for being right. Being controlled, especially in a hostile situation makes you a bitch

Cause when you're wrong your only judge is yourself and I'm not hard on myself, ever. I'm self preservative and looking out for my best interest, but when you're in other people's control it's just hostile and gets on my nerves