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I am not really aware of how I feel about things, until something is happening to it. I don't love objects, but I do wish to protect my property because of what it means to have to replace it, or I might have irreplaceable stuff within said object.
I think I am beginning to gain some awareness of my feelings, I just don't want to mistake it with something else. Which is why I asked what its like for others.
In the Sexual Five, avarice is expressed through an ongoing search for a connection that will satisfy their need for an experience of the most perfect, safest, and most satisfying (idealized) union. This Five may look like the other two five subtypes on the outside, having all the regular five inhibitions and introversion in the area of relationship, but the sexual five places a special value on one-to-one or intimate connections.
This five has a passion for finding a special person they can connect with deeply, sometimes a person they cannot find or have yet to find. Like the social five, this five also searches for a high ideal, but this five looks for the ideal in the realm of love. This five feels a need to find a high exemplar of absolute love. Like the search for the extraordinary of the social five, the ideal kind of connection this five searches for represents a very high standard. Sexual fives seek something like the ultimate mystical union- an experience of the divine in human relationships. And this can also happen with the search for good friends or a spiritual teacher.
While social and self-preservation fives are more removed from their emotions, the sexual five is intense, romantic, and more emotionally sensitive. This five suffers more, resembles the four more, and has more overt desires. This is the countertype among the fives. It may not be completely obvious from the outside, however- they may seem very much like other fives until you touch their romantic spot and inspire their romantic feelings. While they can appear reserved or laconic on the outside, sexual fives have a vibrant internal life that is highly romantic. There are examples of sexual five artists- like Chopin, who Naranjo notes is the most romantic of the classical composers- who display extreme emotional expressiveness through their artistic creations but are cut off in many ways from others in the everyday world.
Sexual fives live in an inner world filled with ideation, theories, and utopian fantasies about finding unconditional love. They live for a couple's love as a kind of ultimate or ideal experience of connection. However, what they search for represents an idealized form of relationship that may not exist in the human world.
Trust is the basic issue with the sexual five. The name Naranjo ascribes to this subtype is “confidence,†which has a special meaning related to an ability to trust the other, and suggests a search for the person who will be with you no matter what, the partner (or friend) that you can trust with all your secrets. Confidence is the kind of ideal that makes sexual fives very romantic deep inside. They search for an idealized version of love and relationship as a source of meaning in life.
The sexual five's search for a high exemplar of connection is so exacting that it's very hard to pass their test with consistency if you are the person in relationship with them. It's very easy for the sexual five to be disappointed. This subtype has such a great need to trust in the other that the need is not easily satisfied, and so there can be a lot of testing in their relationships.
Fives tend to be a private people, but this five has a great need for intimacy under the right circumstances- if they can find a person they can really trust to love them despite their flaws. This subtype expresses a need to be completely transparent with their partner, and they need their partner to be very open as well- and this ideal of trust and intimacy is not easy to find. Because of this, sexual fives can get very picky about the people they have relationships with, and they can become frustrated when they discover that the other is human. If a partner does not live up to their expectations of transparency and openness, they tend to feel disappointed and- because they have a fear of being hurt by others- to isolate themselves.
Some sexual fives say that their search for an ultimate kind of connection does not only center on relationship with a lover or life partner. One five said he related to the idea of “emotional promiscuity,†saying, “I want ultimate contact with a lot of people,†one at a time. And some fives with this subtype report that although they feel guarded in the face of too much emotional intensity, they have a deep desire for intimacy with a trusted few. One five with this subtype described especially appreciating the experience of “clicking†with someone- the feeling of having chemistry with another person- saying that when he felt this he could become infatuated very quickly.
Although the sexual five may look like a type four, this five is still quit five-ish, so is not likely to be mistaken for a four. And while this subtype is the five countertype and seeks to manifest an ideal of intimacy, it may be hard to discern the difference between this five and the other two fives, as all of the five subtypes experience a need to withdraw. However, this five has a need to find a special relationship that will provide both safety and an ultimate kind of love.
Welp. There goes my personal world. Exposed.
But alot of times I also don't know what I feel. Sometimes not until I lose it.
This makes it sound like sexual fives are only focused on romance all the time. The only goal. Which isn't the case for me. Most of the time I'm goal oriented, but the few times when I start to fall in love. I turn into a romantic sap and it's a huge focus. And it's my goal in life, equal to my other goals if not slightly more. One on one, in sync. Like watching videos together at the same time, even if far away or on skype, watching movies, at the same time to get the reactions of the other and discuss it. Sharing in things. Mental synchronicity.
There's moments I can be all in seemingly, but other times be pretty distant. I think I'm distant with most people. Hopefully if I find the One contact won't be an issue. Seems like usually I'll hyper focus on one and forget about others though.
In the Sexual Five, avarice is expressed through an ongoing search for a connection that will satisfy their need for an experience of the most perfect, safest, and most satisfying (idealized) union. This Five may look like the other two five subtypes on the outside, having all the regular five inhibitions and introversion in the area of relationship, but the sexual five places a special value on one-to-one or intimate connections.
This five has a passion for finding a special person they can connect with deeply, sometimes a person they cannot find or have yet to find. Like the social five, this five also searches for a high ideal, but this five looks for the ideal in the realm of love. This five feels a need to find a high exemplar of absolute love. Like the search for the extraordinary of the social five, the ideal kind of connection this five searches for represents a very high standard. Sexual fives seek something like the ultimate mystical union- an experience of the divine in human relationships. And this can also happen with the search for good friends or a spiritual teacher.
While social and self-preservation fives are more removed from their emotions, the sexual five is intense, romantic, and more emotionally sensitive. This five suffers more, resembles the four more, and has more overt desires. This is the countertype among the fives. It may not be completely obvious from the outside, however- they may seem very much like other fives until you touch their romantic spot and inspire their romantic feelings. While they can appear reserved or laconic on the outside, sexual fives have a vibrant internal life that is highly romantic. There are examples of sexual five artists- like Chopin, who Naranjo notes is the most romantic of the classical composers- who display extreme emotional expressiveness through their artistic creations but are cut off in many ways from others in the everyday world.
Sexual fives live in an inner world filled with ideation, theories, and utopian fantasies about finding unconditional love. They live for a couple's love as a kind of ultimate or ideal experience of connection. However, what they search for represents an idealized form of relationship that may not exist in the human world.
Trust is the basic issue with the sexual five. The name Naranjo ascribes to this subtype is “confidence,†which has a special meaning related to an ability to trust the other, and suggests a search for the person who will be with you no matter what, the partner (or friend) that you can trust with all your secrets. Confidence is the kind of ideal that makes sexual fives very romantic deep inside. They search for an idealized version of love and relationship as a source of meaning in life.
The sexual five's search for a high exemplar of connection is so exacting that it's very hard to pass their test with consistency if you are the person in relationship with them. It's very easy for the sexual five to be disappointed. This subtype has such a great need to trust in the other that the need is not easily satisfied, and so there can be a lot of testing in their relationships.
Fives tend to be a private people, but this five has a great need for intimacy under the right circumstances- if they can find a person they can really trust to love them despite their flaws. This subtype expresses a need to be completely transparent with their partner, and they need their partner to be very open as well- and this ideal of trust and intimacy is not easy to find. Because of this, sexual fives can get very picky about the people they have relationships with, and they can become frustrated when they discover that the other is human. If a partner does not live up to their expectations of transparency and openness, they tend to feel disappointed and- because they have a fear of being hurt by others- to isolate themselves.
Some sexual fives say that their search for an ultimate kind of connection does not only center on relationship with a lover or life partner. One five said he related to the idea of “emotional promiscuity,†saying, “I want ultimate contact with a lot of people,†one at a time. And some fives with this subtype report that although they feel guarded in the face of too much emotional intensity, they have a deep desire for intimacy with a trusted few. One five with this subtype described especially appreciating the experience of “clicking†with someone- the feeling of having chemistry with another person- saying that when he felt this he could become infatuated very quickly.
Although the sexual five may look like a type four, this five is still quit five-ish, so is not likely to be mistaken for a four. And while this subtype is the five countertype and seeks to manifest an ideal of intimacy, it may be hard to discern the difference between this five and the other two fives, as all of the five subtypes experience a need to withdraw. However, this five has a need to find a special relationship that will provide both safety and an ultimate kind of love.
Welp. There goes my personal world. Exposed.
But alot of times I also don't know what I feel. Sometimes not until I lose it.
This makes it sound like sexual fives are only focused on romance all the time. The only goal. Which isn't the case for me. Most of the time I'm goal oriented, but the few times when I start to fall in love. I turn into a romantic sap and it's a huge focus. And it's my goal in life, equal to my other goals if not slightly more. One on one, in sync. Like watching videos together at the same time, even if far away or on skype, watching movies, at the same time to get the reactions of the other and discuss it. Sharing in things. Mental synchronicity.
There's moments I can be all in seemingly, but other times be pretty distant. I think I'm distant with most people. Hopefully if I find the One contact won't be an issue. Seems like usually I'll hyper focus on one and forget about others though.
That little except is what made me reconsider my instinctual variants. I have never really cared about relationships etc, until one day I think I fell in love/realized I did before it was over. It changed my perspective entirely, my attitude, and my desires so much that I didn't know what to do with it. I think that I am the opposite of what I thought I was, I love too easily. I just lacked awareness.
That little except is what made me reconsider my instinctual variants. I have never really cared about relationships etc, until one day I think I fell in love/realized I did before it was over. It changed my perspective entirely, my attitude, and my desires so much that I didn't know what to do with it. I think that I am the opposite of what I thought I was, I love too easily. I just lacked awareness.
Exactly. I can relate a lot. I wouldn't say I don't pay attention to love at all normally, but definitely not as much as my goals in life. Unless it hits me. Similarly. And it honestly, if it's a deep hit of actual love, it's a very freaky thing to deal with all of a sudden. Not being use to that type of intensity. The sheer vulnerability that is felt. The potential of fucking it up, or if there's more purer a possibility of fruitfulness to even come from it. Falling in love is rare, but when it happens. It's fecking nuts.
it sounds weird to say, but i just have to analyze it a long(ish) time... i think about why i am reacting to the person the way i am, if i am just seeking to fill a need, if i think the variety and depth of emotion is reciprocated, what the risks are to feeling love for them, how long have i potentially felt that way, etc... sometimes i think i am starting to love someone, but i will crush those feelings because it isn't a wise thing to do... i think i am a loving person, and i am not sure i like that... i attach easily, and sometimes i need to guard against the tendency... i guess that love has a lot to do with familiarity for me, so i do a lot of pruning... i think i mostly do that so i don't become anymore bitter or jaded than i am...
i doubt any of that helped, but that is the first step...
after that i just see if i remain invested over a period of time... if i do, it is love and i try to maintain it as best i can...
post script:
i am a nine, but i think my approach has a fair amount of influence from the five in my tritype...
Long-term worthwhile conversations, the ability to be independent at any time, and an easy/natural friendship-- what I think love is. All of that, in my experience, is extremely rare.
Hate dramatics and odd, attention-seeking gestures-- which come off as fake and/or manic. Having been legitimately hypomanic at one point in life, I sincerely think "love" [as defined by some] presents much like mania, which typically doesn't end well [in either scenario].