at times, we most benefit from having someone patiently sit with us, listen deep all the way thru the shame, and be there w real attention and steadiness to help encourage us to allow the huge circling/cycling thoughts to pass. worldviews are very heavy, if you feel like you (and we) have a responsibility to clean them.
there can be a bit of helpelessness too. you can see this sometimes in isfjs as well. we rely on group support kind of a lot, even if we do so in a way that is a behind the scenes, kind of secondary, sometimes passive role (which can mean having our needs met and taking responsibility to direct that process can be challenging when we really need to be direct in asking for help from others). some of it is a kind of fearfully lazy, learned kind. some is based on real challenge, especially in terms of directly taking control of a situation and effectively, addressing concerns, needed strategies, ways of responding, etc. isfjs usually have a bit easier time committing, bc they don't spend so much time organizing worlds of hypotheticals, which can be burdensome and, when not effectively transitioning back to the reality of the present, frustrate others for good reason. timing matters (which, to me, is definitely my tragic flaw, if i were to claim one).
sitting with a friend having help reality-testing things is something i value so much. trust makes a world of difference, and Fe at odds with dominant culture, really needs deeper qualities of trust with itself and others, bc without additional supports, for all intents and purposes, it IS broken, bc its fit with the habit of others is not helping but harming it (which, if it's bad on the outside, it's bc it's been really bad on the inside too for a long time, and those INTERNALIZED conflicts haven't been healed). in this sense, for us, especially when we're really dialed in, healing kind of assumes a better way of coming together with others, that it's never just us or just them, that the way we belong WITH the world is part of who we are.
^^^also why, to me, those baiting moments, irresponsible generalizations, and emotional outgassing attacks can feel really harmful, when there truly IS a destructive or dangerous energy i am working with and it is being triggered and then turned around as more "proof" of why i am bad in the first place. i think that's where there's a difference in expectation for consideration and responsibility that Fe/Fi can diverge upon, alone or together. we both sometimes want to just be like, c'mon! be constructive! either way, to me at least, whether the person on the other end of the line cares or not makes the biggest difference.
i mean, for myself, when particularly stressed i know i can get aloof, a bit jittery and frazzled, some tunnel vision action, and somewhat judgy and assuming. it can be off-putting, but my general tendency during those times is just to disappear anyway. some of those close to me, especially when my boundaries aren't disciplined enough, have felt more of my deeper internal push/pull.
with that in mind, this idea that **people like me** should be locked up bc we are dangerously self-absorbed is just so over-the-top. i am more likely to be cynical or fanciful or some mood-avoidant thing, but the harm i would do is more out of irrelevance than out of anything else. i have reacted out of anger before, and this is a different story. in those moments, it has been more harmful, where i actually wanted to prove people wrong, regardless of their experience and the cost to them. this is where, for me, that gut type, anger type, e8 shadow sometimes burns hot, and i need to own that better.