In the "embracing nonbinary heteronormativities" video I agree that insisting on non-binary pronousn is a bit counter-productive. People can see themselves as non-binary (non-gendered?) but feeling oppressed if someone labels them with a gender (based on their looks) and also insisting people to use the non-binary's nomenclature is a bit oppressive to others in itself.
It is like you are living a country with its own set of laws and culture and you insist that some parts of the law/culture should apply differently to you because you are different from the binary norm. It is like asking for preferential minority treatment but to me it feels like being entitled.
One cannot expect an entire cultural denomination to revise itself around one's needs. People are living on streets and going hungry/cold, dying of wars, compared to all that this is minor issue and anyone who makes a big deal of it needs to learn some humility first IMO.
I have mixed feelings, but I also feel as if our culture is experiencing a lot of growing pains by being confronted with things outside its norm -- things it has ignored or never addressed. (Some of these things are pretty awful, like systematic racism. Others are more subtle.) Systems do not change unless confronted. The river doesn't change its course until you throw rocks into it. Those who aren't confronted daily with issues will naturally focus on the things important to them and/or their own lives, due to conservation of energy at best and denial / indifference at worst.
I grew up in a very homogenous (religiously, racially, politically) area and felt very isolated, alone, imploded, until I got outside of that pocket and discovered there was a lot more variety in the world that could be accommodated. It was a scarring, minimizing experience that leads one to doubt even one's own thoughts. Just because something is outside of a norm doesn't mean it should not be shared and addressed in some way. Maybe those who are more often within the norms aren't as aware of how awful that experience can be or how it really can mess you up and inhibit freedom and growth.
It is also not up to you to determine which things are "worse" than other things. There are various kinds of damage that can happen to human beings. I agree some of them are far more overt and crucial to physical survival, but it doesn't mean others should be ignored. In a global society, there will always be people worse off than you, with more seemingly pressing needs, but it's not an excuse to avoid addressing local trauma of various kinds.
non-binary stuff can seem rather ambiguous. Our culture hasn't even dealt with other things outside the norm (gay and trans issues), refusing to accept much of the inherent systematic trauma that can occur when growing up in repressive environments, so it's not a surprise that non-binary can seem even more spurious and people have even less of an understanding.
To be honest, though, it's a pretty minor "inconvenience," isn't it? to address someone by the pronouns of their choosing? And not have expectations for people based on jamming them into a particular binary gender box? I mean, who cares? The conflict is all wrong -- it's more about defending something as "this is how it's always been, and inconveniencing me / confusing me about how to immediately pigeonhole someone, so I refuse to budge!" versus "Hey, here's this person I don't know and they are asking me to address them a certain way, very much as I would learn their name and use it, so hey no problem." You might not agree with someone's marriage but you would learn their married name and use it as well. Why is this any different? I'll tell you why -- people like being able to gender-box people and all the baggage that comes along with it, and they don't like the ambiguity of not knowing how to relate to someone if they aren't already wrapped up in that nice little box.
Movements that are just starting out are always going to make demands / assert themselves loudly. You don't change a river's course by tossing a pebble into it. You have to toss some pretty big rocks in or else a TON of smaller rocks, to make a difference.
From the other side, I would simply say that you have to find a way to make your needs known that puts them in public view so people have to react to them, but at the same time try to find a sweet spot to not generate automatic pushback and refusal to consider.