Well I've always been an outsider looking in. Eventually, I learned to "belong" by use of humor and self-deprecation. But, this is mostly just a facade. It's funny because people who only know me online think I am some social fairy who easily flutters from person to person, making friends, and while this may be true online, this does not carry over into real life.
I have a friend I've known since 2nd grade, and I still get awkward and uncomfortable around her at times. This is the pain of social anxiety. Generally, unless I am in an exceedingly good mood and either looking really good or somewhat drunk or both, I am probably somewhat uncomfortable in my own body, constantly worried about how I look or come across to others.
I relate to people on a very deep level, but the surface shit isn't my strong point, so it can be hard to get from point A to point B. I can also sometimes very easily engage with others, only to feel really uncomfortable the next time around. I read into others reactions quite a bit and often wonder things like "does this person not like me? Did I seem like a bitch when I said that? Maybe I should try to tone myself down and be more "normal." But I also have a need to be engaging and fiery and entertaining/different. I don't really wanna fit in, but I wanna be accepted.
Some of these patterns of internal struggle are completely unpredictable, so I have a tendency to feel a bit unstable or even like a spectacle. Again, I deal with all of this through humor and self-deprecation, or just plain withdrawal. It's a very push-pull dynamic and it can be difficult to cope with in healthy ways (i.e. not resorting to alcohol consumption or living vicariously through the Internet).
I consider this to be highly connected to mental illness actually, like anxiety and depression.