What Are You Feeling II: The Sequel & The Last Crusade & Search for & Revenge of Khan &The Secret of the Ooze

[Mind Maverick]

Sort of upset. For some reason when I know I've been doing nothing wrong (to the best of my ability, I'm still human/flawed/make mistakes) but still end up treated like I am doing so, it's upsetting to me. Partly, I guess, because it should be obvious that I am an honest person, I admit when I'm wrong, I'm not afraid or ashamed to take responsibility for my actions, I strive so fucking diligently after self-improvement, I empathetically take the way I affect others into account (unless they're positioning themselves against me) to the point where I overcame borderline DISORDER symptoms--not even just normal negative/destructive behaviors, a fucking mental illness--through my own diligence because I wanted very passionately to stop unintentionally hurting the people I love. Yet, no matter how many times my actions prove all of that over and over, at times all of that gets overlooked and I'm still treated as though I have some sort of negative motives, or as though I am an asshole, or as though people can't simply approach me and reason with me and I'll be like "oops, my bad" and quit whatever shit I never even intended to do.

Some people will never see that you are generally well-meaning regardless of what you do. Yet, somehow, I've ended up on the receiving end of smear campaigns, demonized, etc. more than most people despite putting in more effort than most. (Naofumi much?)

 

[Mind Maverick]

Btw no, I didn't want anyone to beg me not to leave. I simply wanted closure/to express how I was feeling and get it off my chest so I could move on. That sort of crap is what's wrong with moderation here. Assuming peoples' motives are negative and then treating people according to their own surmisings.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Mentally/emotionally: I'm great.
Physically: Less than great.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Kind of guilty about some things I've said in some feedback/responses to others. Concerned because I know it makes me seem ungrateful and (hostile? Not sure if that's the word I'm looking for) even though that isn't how I feel. Taking some time to reflect.

EDIT: While I do consider my blunt, direct, and straightforward nature to be positive overall, sometimes I can also be a bit insensitive and harsh, thus saying things I feel remorse about. I don't think I revisit that with people enough if I do end up realizing I've gone over the top. I sometimes simply improve myself in action, but...people aren't mind readers, they don't always know I've realized I screwed up and am sorry. Perhaps I should communicate more.

 

[Indigo Rodent]

I hate the society for wanting me dead for being disabled. Lots of awful people out there.

 

[Paisley]

I hate the society for wanting me dead for being disabled. Lots of awful people out there.

This may provide some levity in these difficult times.

Enjoy!

 

[Earl Grey]

I'm going to scream at somebody, anybody, everybody.

 

[Coriolis]

I'm going to scream at somebody, anybody, everybody.

You do know, of course, that we have a Support/Advice subforum; or perhaps the rant thread will do.

 

[Earl Grey]

You do know, of course, that we have a Support/Advice subforum; or perhaps the rant thread will do.

What do you want to get me banned??? Pretty sure screaming there would get me banned real fast, also, I'm just dosed on coffee again don't mind me I'll be normal in the morning,

 

[Coriolis]

What do you want to get me banned??? Pretty sure screaming there would get me banned real fast, also, I'm just dosed on coffee again don't mind me I'll be normal in the morning,

Posting on-topic content in a thread or subforum is hardly a bannable offense. Rant away. You've earned it.

 

[Earl Grey]

Posting on-topic content in a thread or subforum is hardly a bannable offense. Rant away. You've earned it.

Supposed to be nice and non-screamy there plus what am I going to post, "HELP HEE HOO I DRANK TOO MUCH COFFEE AGAIN" ?????

 

[Coriolis]

Supposed to be nice and non-screamy there plus what am I going to post, "HELP HEE HOO I DRANK TOO MUCH COFFEE AGAIN" ?????

I would never have thought you to be someone with a drinking problem. Perhaps you should avail yourself of the rant thread, or even Discord voice chat.

 

[Earl Grey]

I would never have thought you to be someone with a drinking problem.

Everybody knows I have a drinking problem wtf that's old news.

Perhaps you should avail yourself of the rant thread, or even Discord voice chat.

bolded: We all know how that's going to end- quoth @тень:

 

[Indigo Rodent]

Horror and despair.

Was trying to get help by sharing my art and story on Tumblr and Instagram. Probably dark sci-fi was a bad kind of art for such endavours, because it 99% people it attracts is sociopathic geeks who are too obsessed with collecting "plastic crack" and similar materialistic pursuits to be charitable. People who will say how they love your work, but won't donate even 3 Euro to save your life or contribute to art materials. Being an artist sucks. Like one needs to have like 250 followers to get one supporter on Patreon or Ko-Fi or whatever so people literally need to amass amount of followers of size of a literal small city to live from art.
It's all so fucking hopeless.
Like besides demonetization of art and turning it into money-maker for cutthroat social media sites/apps, it's just the sheer heartlessness of people that gets me.

This may provide some levity in these difficult times.

My favourite piece of levity is the TV show sequence from the end of the Joker.

 

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

Was trying to get help by sharing my art and story on Tumblr and Instagram. Probably dark sci-fi was a bad kind of art for such endavours, because it 99% people it attracts is sociopathic geeks. People who will say how they love your work, but won't donate even 3 Euro to save your life or contribute to art materials. Being an artist sucks. Like one needs to have like 250 followers to get one supporter on Patreon or Ko-Fi or whatever so people literally need to amass amount of followers of size of a literal small city to live from art.
It's all so fucking hopeless.
Like besides demonetization of art and turning it into money-maker for cutthroat social media sites/apps, it's just the sheer heartlessness of people that gets me.


My favourite piece of levity is the TV show sequence from the end of the Joker.

When you go out can you introduce me as Joker, you mean?

 

[Indigo Rodent]

When you go out can you introduce me as Joker, you mean?

I like his last joke he tells to Murray the most.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I've been having long, sustained medium-grade anxiety attacks since I found out my neighbor shot herself. I remember hearing a gunshot a few weeks ago, but didn't know if was inside the building. She was really sweet. I sometimes get scared at night and have sustained anxiety I can't break through changing thoughts. It's also a topic I can't really discuss with people. I was only an acquaintance, but I miss her. I am really struggling with it and everything, but I'll find a way to keep my feet under me.

 

[Luminous]

I've been having long, sustained medium-grade anxiety attacks since I found out my neighbor shot herself. I remember hearing a gunshot a few weeks ago, but didn't know if was inside the building. She was really sweet. I sometimes get scared at night and have sustained anxiety I can't break through changing thoughts. It's also a topic I can't really discuss with people. I was only an acquaintance, but I miss her. I am really struggling with it and everything, but I'll find a way to keep my feet under me.

How horrible.

 

[Paisley]

I've been having long, sustained medium-grade anxiety attacks since I found out my neighbor shot herself. I remember hearing a gunshot a few weeks ago, but didn't know if was inside the building. She was really sweet. I sometimes get scared at night and have sustained anxiety I can't break through changing thoughts. It's also a topic I can't really discuss with people. I was only an acquaintance, but I miss her. I am really struggling with it and everything, but I'll find a way to keep my feet under me.

Very sorry to hear that, that's terrible. I'm going through some anxiety myself. I accused someone of a lot of things right to his face recently, and I'm still feeling a lot of anxiety about my accusations and trying to calm down and find peace. It was a long time in coming, needless to say, it's been a rough week.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

Either distracted or looking for distraction. I could scroll and have been scrolling on the internet for ages now when there is much I need to do