So I've been dating this girl for a few months. She and I have history; we dated nearly a decade ago when we were in high school. We feel in love as completely and innocently as teenagers tend to do. I was her first love, but the intensity of the emotions she was feeling caused her to break things off with me and 'chicken out' as she put it.
Edit: this concerns a past relationship:
I would be thinking about why it ended, the worth of the relationship then and how that correlates now. Feelings are scary as they create a vulnerability that she probably feels she can't protect herself from. I don't know how to express feelings well - or know if or when I even should so I usually don't (or I try, end up blasting them, feel like an idiot, and then introvert so I don't do it again). Too, they never make sense when you analyze them - love doesn't make sense lol!
Everyone has to have that person who got away from them, right? Well, we were that for each other. No one else ever made us feel the same as we did when we were together. We kept in contact over the years, each nursing secret longings and regrets. We saw each other sporadically which only served to remind us of the chemistry that was still there.
That would not be me at all. I have a sea of emotion underneath the calm surface shown everyone (yeah, INTP's are not robots/emotionless!), but I also have steel control of myself. If I can't have 'it' then I usually just resolve that I didn't want 'it' to begin with - and if my heart longs for it but my mind is opposed, then I sit in denial or wait until I figure it out. If I made a final decision to not 'go there' or to 'get out of there', then I would have to rewire all of my thinking to reconsider - and that takes time...and is rare for me to do. If you crushed her, good luck getting her to trust you. She might be 'there' to try, but she will not be there completely
When I first got into MBTI she took an online test and came up as a ISFJ, but she never really seemed like the other ISFJs I had met. She said some of the things in the description made sense to her (especially the concept of being introverted), but it wasn't perfect. More recently she took a test in one of my personality types books and that put her as an INTP, however she doesn't really remind me of the other (male) INTPs I have met, either. I do think she's closer to INTP than ISFJ though.
It could depend on what was going on - if she just entered a relationship then her feeling/sensing preferences are also being engaged. My sensing is low, but I want it to back up my intuition in uncharted waters for a more complete analysis. INTP's are NT Conceptuals and tend not have a lot of relationships...
The big problem is she shows me very little intuition. She prefers to talk about all the things that happened throughout the day in great detail and does very little of what I would consider N speculation. I asked her about this and she stated cryptically 'what if I just don't share?' or something to that effect. When I pressed she wouldn't explain it any further. She is very willing to follow me into whatever crazy territory I want to go, but doesn't add as much as I'd expect. My speculation on this is she does it because she doesn't feel like she knows enough about the subject to comment.
I do this as well - but typically because the other person is not talking, silence seems inappropriate, and I am talking to a concrete communicator...did you start the conversation with her in that way? If so, she is just adapting to 'speak your language' on your terms.
I considered ISTP, but she has none of the stereotypical SP traits: sense of adventures, a love of working with the hands on concrete things. She enjoys quiet activities and much prefers a intimidate night at home talking for hours in the candle light to going out and partying. She has also said that she much prefers to come up with the solution and let other people take care of the implementation. When I asked her if she could consider being an architect she said 'sure, as long as I didn't have to build anything'.
Is she kinesthetic? Have her take the mypersonality test...
"When I asked her if she could consider being an architect she said 'sure, as long as I didn't have to build anything'." This is true for me as well in some ways - I am great at brainstorming ideas, creating the framework/structure for it, even the final plan but someone else should implement it because my interest ends there. I can build, but usually lose interest before I finish it...
I asked her how she felt about the basic motivation of a type 5: Want to be capable and competent, to master a body of knowledge and skill. She smiled sheepishly and said 'now we don't know anyone like that, do we?'
I am a 5 but not every bit of it fits me either, the 7 and 3 fits me in areas as well. These things are all relative, we are all unique individuals and nothing is going to fit us perfectly.
She also very much reminds me of this girl who claims to be an INTP on youtube:
YouTube - INTP
Not sure if she is a real INTP or not - she is slow in getting her thoughts to speech and the only time I do that is if I don't know what I am talking about or perhaps playing devils advocate in debate about a subject I don't know much about either way so I am in effect absorbing from both aspects. My mind tends to move at the speed of light; speech is well modulated; and I tend to present authoritatively while open to other perspectives
I think its mostly the facial expressions and the eyes that resonate with me the most. Also the way she moves her head and her speech pattern.
So tell me, am I dating an INTP? If so why does she act so S?