Hello, my name is Luminous and I'm a limerent.
I've endured limerence that lasted for years (only to be extinguished after I learned the person is homosexual and there is zero chance of reciprocation.) And I've had a bout of limerence about a fictional character (which you might argue, is not truly limerence since there is no possibility of reciprocation, but it felt the same otherwise). No, you may not know who the character is, though I will say I've seen him typed as INTx.
I truly thought everyone felt these feelings - that these feelings are what falling in love is. I do wonder: How do those who fall in love without limerence experience that love? How is that in love different from just love?
When I realized I am prone to OCD type thoughts, I looked back and realized that my first limerence was a good example of my tendencies. The main difference is that with limerence, for me, there is far more pleasure, than with the other subjects. And it's most certainly like a drug. A beautiful expansive horrible drug.
I don't understand this, either. Say, so/sx... do they experience limerence? Are they more likely than sx doms to have it end when their feelings are reciprocated?
I have done that couple of times. And, I might be doing this entirely backwards but I find it less...unhealthy than having limerence for real people.
While people I've spoken to about it hav found it utterly creepy " They aren't even real. That's unnatural!" but for me having these feelings for real people is so much more creepy to me.
For example I found myself quite fond of a character from a live action show...so I did-what by my understanding- is normal and started looking up pictures of the actor. It made me feel...skeevy like some sort of stalker. That actor is a real person. Not an object of idealization and I stopped these thoughts from continuing any further.
A fictional character though; who cares if I has tons and tons of pictures of them? Who cares if I read shit putting them in less than ideal, out of character, or embarrassing situations? There is nothing wrong with objectifying an object...not even, just a random assortment of concepts.
I have noticed though, that I tend to do this not so much with characters which I "like" but more whom I can relate to. ( Or, maybe "the ones I like" ARE the ones I can relate to) I feel ignored, overlooked the vast majority of the time so I guess that clinging to characters in which I see a lot of myself -who are popular- must give me some sense of comfort or validation.
Or, as it has JUST occurred to me, maybe the reciprocation I'm looking for is not the characters but the real people who love them:
" You LOVE these fictional characters so damned much, why don't you assholes even give me the time of day!?" Kind of thing.
Oh, and I am an Sx dom but if anything, it may be more of an Sx/Sp thing; wanting very much to be social but being so very ad at it.
...or perhaps i just need A LOT of therapy.