I would refer to some of the blatant examples (like the ones you give), sure, as such -- but that's not what has bothered me in my normal life. It's different when you've been part of what feels like a community and then you're kicked out of it despite everything you've done because there's a difference of opinion. It's conditional love at its finest, which even the authentic church claims to be more about. The regular shysters never had that at all because they were cynically fake from the start, but the regular church that thinks it is good and is trying to be good sometimes seems so goddam clueless and misled.
Meh. As I see it, it's all one and the same. Shysters or "authentic churches"--it's all the same, because it's all religion. And sooner or later everyone ends up getting butthurt about religion: Religion's claims are too extravagant. Religion sets the bar way too high even for its own followers.
As a result, sooner or later it's easy to point your finger at the members of any denomination (including your own) and say, "Pharisees! Hypocrites! You say you're all about love, but you're about hate!" It's pretty much inevitable.
So you end up blaming religious people for...what? You end up blaming religious people for being exactly the same as the rest of humanity--human and fallible. Instead, you should blame religion for creating unrealistic expectations and predictably setting people up for disillusionment and a fall and a lot of shame and blame.
That's why all this railing against people for their religious beliefs is ridiculous. Seriously, what did you expect?
Of course people can't live up to their own religious beliefs.
Of course there is going to be a huge gap between what religious people profess and how they actually act. It's inevitable. It's because religion is just pie in the sky. It's like telling kids that they should behave well because Christmas is coming. It might cause the kids to be better-behaved for a little while, but sooner or later they're back to their usual tricks and usual misbehavior.
So don't blame people for being human. Instead, blame the stupid inhumane expectations that religion creates.
That's my point. Humans are going to human, including hatred and bloodshed and gore and murder. It's "the human comedy." Sit back and enjoy it. Religion is almost a non-issue. Religion is just a community event, like a political rally or a holiday gathering. It's largely just entertainment for the bored. Religion is not the
cause of anything, good or bad. It's just a
projection of an idyllic existence, like a children's fairy tale. Religion is like Santa Claus, Luke Skywalker, and Shrek: They're all cutesy sentimental narratives that one can hope to emulate in life, but realistically they have absolutely nothing to do with our actual day-to-day lives.
Religion is fine when it motivates individual people to aspire to better things. But it also motivates a certain amount of hate and discontent, so it's kind of a wash. Meantime, on the grand scale,
what really matters is human nature and "the human comedy." And there's not a whole lot that religion can do about that. Humans are going to human.
Not to disparage your own experience of religion. But I grew up outside of religion, and the above is my own viewpoint. I look at religion and ask, "Why do people even believe that crap? Let humans be human, and try to understand and improve upon
actual human nature instead of juggling children's fairy tales and then blaming people when they can't live up to fairy-tale-based expectations and goals."
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[ETA:] By the way, you can swap out the word "Religion" and replace it with "Mass politics" in the above rant. (Or pretty much any other immersive culture.) Mass politics is a similar bugaboo for most people. People blame the opposite political party for everything, when in fact mass politics is mostly just fantasy, fairy tales, cutesy sentimental narratives, and inhumane expectations of "goodness" that most people can't live up to. Same old same old. They used to say that religion was the opiate of the masses. But nowadays politics is the drug of choice.