As ENFP, enneagram 7- I very much do not tolerate being controlled or controlling others. To a point where I will put my independence above all else. I've heard some people describe this same value as not wanting to be deprived. For me, it has nothing to do with feeling deprived- but everything to do with the principal of no one or nothing has the right over me. (I believe in God, and only He has the right over me.)
I will willingly give respect to deserving people (parents, elders, people who are worthy by being respectful themselves- even the right boss!) so I do not mind putting them "above" me. But if someone were to ever manage to control me (by force or what not) I would not slowly die of deprivation ...... It would be the sense of injustice that would kill me or make me fight to the death.
thoughts?
I how exactly how you feel (I'm also an ENFP 7). you demand respect, you have strong boundaries and you have no problem enforcing them, even when doing so requires a bit more ruthlessness than most people are comfortable with.
I think most ENFP 7s, 8s and cp6s would relate a lot to this, especially when taking into account the Fi/Te combo (you clearly have strong Te reading through this post).
Fi by itself: withdrawn, tranquil, daydreamy, sensitive, reflective
Te by itself: cold, robotic, systematic, efficiency driven
Fi+Te at the same time: fiery, aggressively idealistic, often frustrated, heroic, driven, expression of one's feelings can have a poetic ethereal quality to it (think Joan of Arc). Te is like a train and Fi is the fuel that sends it forward at full force
also, for the record, you sound like a 7-1-3 tritype, probably 7w>1w9>3w4 with a very strong gut fix
- 1w9 because you seem to have a clearly premeditated set of standards, hold yourself to your beliefs and desire to conduct yourself rationally. it seems like your first response when you are angry is to want to talk to the person in a reasonable manner and use more force only after they have proven unwilling to listen/cooperate. after which point, you have no problem using as much force as necessary to win
- 3w4 fix because you have a clear individualist streak, but are also driven and don't let your sensitivity get in the way of accomplishing what you want. accomplishment seems very important to you, but your own brand of accomplishment rather than a more socially accepted form that the 3w2 would strive after (3s have a lot of stereotypes about them too. 3w4s and 3w4 fixers generally don't relate a lot to most of the 3 descriptions online)
I could see you as either 7w8 or 7w6 at this point. most of the descriptions of 7w6 suck and don't get to the core differences between them. overall, your behavior seems more 8, but there's a certain..."reasonableness" and willingness to cooperate and you seem to be a more deliberate, thought out person which suggests a stronger connection to the head center. as I understand it so far, the differences are:
7w6
- more intellectual
- more cautious (not necessarily scared, but tend to be more aware of the consequences "uh, maybe I shouldn't do that...")
- tend to spend much of their time in a fantastical, Peter Pan-esque fantasy world or exciting vision of the future
- more sensitive than the 7w8 (not necessarily very sensitive, in fact, most 7w6s would not describe themselves that way at all) just more sensitive than a 7w8 who tends to plow through things and people without really realizing it)
- have a childlike charm to them which can either show outwardly or be more inwardly guarded
- more prone to escapism, often, surprisingly, via introspection (think Christopher Robin)
- more prone to seek external feedback from experts "am I doing this right?" "did I miss anything?"
- more prone to over think things, sometimes not trusting their own judgments as much as a 7w8 would
- main weakness: unrealistic, idealistic, grandiose delusions about reality, procrastination, escapism and difficulty forming solid work habits
- path to growth: getting realistic about their expectations, accepting reality and taking steps to be effective within reality to get what they want
7w8
- more action oriented, 7w8s have a tendency to generally be going after something (like 3s)
- often thought of as the "bad boy" of the enneagram
- more realistic and grounded in reality
- similarly, more focused on tangibles (money, sex, material goods etc)
- often have controversial, dark or offensive humor that they use to ruffle people's feathers
- can be workaholic and ruthless if they are pursuing a goal they desire strongly
- more thrill seeking and into rushes of intensity
- more prone to excess
- main weakness: being overtaken by their impulses and desires, thus putting their wellbeing in jeopardy
- path to growth: controlling their impulses and learning to detach from the present to gain what they want
[MENTION=10496]skylights[/MENTION]
7s are often just as independence seeking as 8s, especially Sp dom 7s. 7s have big energy and require a lot of space and even more options to do what they want. trying to trap a 7 is like trying to trap wild animal that will fly into a rage and tooth and claw you until it escapes