Well if best fit gives the best description, I would say you are right, and I trust your opinion, wolfy. It's just my husband is an ESFP(I think) and we are quite different. Me: literature, music, art. Him: sports, music. I love to think deeply about things. He'd rather not.
What especially resonates in the best fit description for me:
ISFP
Probably I’m the happiest when things are just a little different everyday. I don’t want to commit to any particular way to be. I want to be able to be a lot of ways. In my mind, I am peacefully assimilating myself to a lot of different situations, flowing easily between them all. Most people don’t understand there’s a lot going on inside. It’s always different, and if it’s not always different, it’s no fun.
When I’m someplace, doing something, I’m really there. The whole experience is related to that time and place. And people only see the part of me that is with them that day. That’s who I am for that day, but little do they know that tomorrow I might be different.
I’m reserved when I first meet people, but I am friendly, warm, and outgoing once I’ve gotten to know someone. I really enjoy listening to people, hearing other people’s stories and learning about them. I remember a lot of the details. I ask a lot of questions and like the challenge of recognizing where people are coming from and why they might be coming from that perspective. I love the give and take of conversations. I really feel thrilled and excited learning from that intellectual energy combined with that emotional energy. It gives me a sense of the person. In any situation, I love the give and take, the playfulness and energy, the excitement and a little bit of competition, a little bit of one-upsmanship. But when it becomes abrasive and people personally attack others, I’m offended.
I have a lot of interests and I can get interested in one thing, and then something else comes along and that looks fascinating. I enjoy using the skills that I do have, and they’re varied. I’m always on the lookout for something that uses my skills and abilities, that will give me variety and still be stimulating and let me have a mission with people. In my best jobs, I was connecting with people and problem solving and often using tools, adapting equipment or techniques.
My nature is when things get to a crunch, I’ll make something happen that will make it all right. I just know that I can do that and will do that. I love solving people problems.
But part of me shivers if someone tells me their expectations of me, even if they’re expectations I have for myself. I need the freedom to be able to change my mind or direction. I like to get a feel for what they’re looking for and then just make it happen and hope they enjoy it. And don’t ask me how I did it because I have a difficult time communicating that. It’s whatever moves me at the time. I probably don’t even remember half of what I’ve done. I can spin around doing nothing and then spend two minutes and get something done. It’s a whole process that I can’t communicate, because it’s not something that can always be written down on paper—because when I’m doing it, I’m enjoying it. It’s like I’m in a different world. It’s not a task to me—it’s a creative outlet.
I enjoy family and friends. I enjoy being with them and doing things with them—developing that relationship, bonding with them. I carry through with my commitments and I’m a very responsible person. Deep friendships are important to me, but not too many.
When I am angry I get quiet. Others don’t know though, that’s the problem. Because it’s not an external, visible reaction—it’s more passive, turned inward. I’m trying to think it through to figure a way to get my point across so they understand because I wouldn’t want to attack somebody. That’s something about me, that noncommunication, or withdrawal.
I like recognition. It’s very important to get complimented soon after an accomplishment. If something goes unnoticed or unrewarded, it doesn’t have the immediate impact that I want. I’ve been learning my own positive self-talk. I tend to be a workaholic at whatever it is I am doing. You might say I’m a perfectionist. I want people to be impressed with my performance. I don’t want anyone to be unhappy with my performance so I continue to perform, and that is kind of a driving force. It has been a constant struggle to not overdo it. I need a positive environment to work in and I need the people I’m working with to support me.
INFP:
I have a very internal focus. I think I look at myself through other people’s eyes, but sometimes I can lose touch with how things work for me. Then I can get introspective, going very deep and staying there, not coming out too quickly or easily. Somehow I find it very difficult to put into words and communicate the things that really matter to me. Most people don’t have the foggiest notion about what goes on with me.
I like harmony and seek consensus and do well with the deep issues. My values and the things that are important to me often feel outside the mainstream in the sense that I feel impinged upon and uncomfortable with so much of what goes on. I’m too private to push my values on to other people, but I am convinced that one ought to be congruent in their own life if they are going to expect congruence from others. In a sense I hold other people to that standard, and I worry about my own incongruities, inconsistencies, and contradictions. Groups can be hard. I can put myself in the group process so rapidly and so completely, and it’s important not to get sucked in. I need to be predictable about what I believe.
I am a global thinker and I like to learn interactively. My thoughts need to be connected with some person or value. On reflection, don’t all thoughts have to be connected to something? I feed new information into other things I’ve read and my thoughts, and I can have a marvelous time just sitting with ideas. And I like to discuss or write things because I seem to have a lot in my head and I’ve got to get it out. I love bringing together different eclectic ideas and seeing what’s similar. I like to have my own ideas, hear others ideas, and have ideas challenged, bantering back and forth. Chitchat has no interest for me. I tend to do a lot of mental rehearsal and play in problem solving, and the fun part is figuring out how to do something. Motivation comes when something has real meaning or value for me, and while I enjoy ideas I don’t like having my values challenged.
For me, asking questions is just a different form of being quiet, a way to explore an inner thought stream or check out of reality and back into my thoughts. Sometimes I chuckle at myself that there is really no sequential way that I work though tasks.
I have always trusted my intuition, even before I was aware of it. I enjoy talking to people. It’s interesting to learn about them, where they’re coming from and how they invent their reality. And I have an innate talent for reading between the lines—to hear what hasn’t been said—and a sense of what needs to be said and done. I tend to form impressions right away about people, and most of the time I feel pretty good about my impressions but sometimes I am way off. At least if the people have good intentions, I can relax.
I enjoy seeing people enjoy who they are, and I get a lot of joy helping others discover that they have value. Being able to help someone in their darkest hour, to communicate across differences and find common ways of working together, that is very satisfying because then there is a real sense of closeness and acceptance and a genuine pursuit of helping people heal and achieve their goals. I hold on to relationships even though we may go long periods without seeing each other, and I cherish those long associations.
I’m concerned about how others feel when they are around me. Lack of honesty or ethics or integrity in interactions—when someone is saying one thing but doing another—really puts me off. So does when someone doesn’t honor, or accept as valid, my communication or feeling as I try to talk to them about something that matters to me. And I don’t need to talk about myself. I don’t enjoy it. Sometimes I’m frustrated trying to communicate, and sometimes a metaphor or a joke or a story is a way to effectively express myself so what I’m saying can be heard by someone who hears or experiences things differently.
I don’t know what I am going to do next, but I trust in myself that something will come in as a new idea, with challenge and inner meaning. Whatever it is, it will be right. Although I would never actually say it, it feels as though I am grounded in the very being of who I am when I talk like this.
What about other ISFPs? What about INFP or these descriptions do you relate to?