I have a female friend who's a confirmed (I actually persuaded her to take an MBTI test) ESFP who likes me to a certain extent.
Some thoughts:
Her ideal man (the one that she keeps on mentioning to me too often) is probably an ENTP (based on how I analyze their interaction), and probably, I have similarities with the guy hence her certain level of fondness for me.
The girl doesn't like my Introverted Thinking (most SFs don't give a sh*t about this), unless I analyze her persona and romanticize my description.
Though extraverted intuition is a different thing. She seems to be attracted to it, and if a guy uses his extraverted intuition in a chick predatory mode, he can come out really really charming.
The girl seems to have an addiction to being intellectually outwitted.
The thing is, I think this ESFP is just as 'superficial' as your stereotypically hated ESFJ, only that she doesn't seem to shove her irrationality that much into other people's throat.
Unlike an ESFJ that may be a addicted to guy's stature, this girl can be hooked to someone's character, particularly his wit.
Though one thing I don't like about her is that she doesn't appreciate wit as an intellectual thinking function but she looks at it in a more superficial way, like an added charm to the guy.