So much to reply to! Let me gather my thoughts.
First off:
*looks at thread title*
lol
hahah i know i know. What I meant to say was "LISTEN UP, I own this place...tell me your thoughts. NOW"
I don't think that there are hierarchies of faith. Everyone in the body of Christ has different roles, but are essentially equal in that they all have Christ. Just as the three persons of the trinity have different roles requiring them to submit to one another, but each is still God.
Just because one is devoted to their faith doesn't mean they should enter into ministry. I believe the alternate view buys into the myth of a world that is divided into the secular and religious or spiritual and material. A believer should be able to be devoted to God and have their faith influence all of their life whether they are a janitor, doctor, teacher, or a nun. I completely believe somebody can die unto themselves and be an accountant.
Whatever you do make sure that your decision is based on what will bring you joy and not on avoiding what you are afraid of.
I agree with you 100%. Dying to yourself and living for your faith doesn't mean you have to give up your old life and live as a dainty little religious person. In fact, the more I study my faith, the more I understand that it's about surrendering right now in the moment, as opposed to assuming that we need to change our circumstances in order to follow God. Thanks for the advice.
While it seems like I will have to stay single forever anyway lol, I know already what it means to fall in love to someone, and I wouldn't want to give away the possibility to once found a family. I don't know if I will ever get into a relationship, I don't know if I will be able to lead a successfull relationship, but I know I want to try at least.
Just wanted to say I know how you feel
please dont make yourself a living sacrifice, it makes no sense. i mean (lets assume that the god in your religion exists) god gave you a gift of life, so wouldnt the greatest appreciation to him about this gift of life that he gave you, be that you use and enjoy it as much as you can and do some good with it? as a nun you might feel that you do good things to other by serving their religious needs, but if you live like that, you live for other peoples lives, but waste your gift of life. if you want to put your life in a good use, better way to do that would be something like doing volunteer work for starving kids in africa or saving the rain forests, i may be bit pessimistic, but prayers dont seem to do much good about real sufferings of people. also by doing volunteer work, you wouldnt have to be a living sacrifice, but you could be a person who uses her gift of life as god intended and help earthly needs of others to help them to live happier life also.
i suggest looking at jungs view on religions, it might give you quite different view on your religion and help you find god even using your own religious believes, but you must not judge other views about god either. jung said this thing about god late in his life; "i used to believe, now i know". find out what he meant with it, and you will know too.
Definitely definitely not judging. In fact, I believe there are other religions and churches because people are different and we understand God in different ways. Huge generalization of the world, but I never bash other religions and always try to understand their history and why they do things. As long as they're worshipping God and not the religion/church...just using it as a means to practice their belief (er, knowing) in God. Which of course isn't always happening.
Also (replying to the quote below also), it is important to take care of the physical needs of the world. Very important. However, supporting people in their faith journeys is also. It's like nourishing spirits/souls/minds. In doing this, we may be allowing someone to realize that they are not living up to their full potential which could be to start an organization serving kids in Africa, or something of the like. Know what I mean? Maybe sounds like a lot of work, and why don't people just do that right now, but as we all know things might not work that smoothly, and sometimes people could use some insight from outside themselves to understand their gifts.
I'll check out jungs explanation. I would like to understand what he means by that.
yep, but the service is mostly religious or aimed mostly to people who go to your church or need to be converted. i dont really think that this is as necessary as getting food to starving children in africa or saving the rain forests. imo its pretty stupid to help people who already are in a position where they can survive and helping someone to make them agree you with something is pure evil. helping people with their religious problems is just helping someone who already got everything he needs to live even more comfortable, so it is pretty unnecessary compared to helping people from suffering or dying.
I said my thoughts on this for the previous quote.
To me, that doesn't mean sacrificing myself. It means that if anyone manages to "kill" their ego, they will be enlightened. If I sacrifice myself, the thing commanding the sacrificial will be my ego, so the sacrifice is not really about getting rid of the ego, instead it makes the ego stronger, and will make you more likely to pride your fake spiritual success. In other words, you cannot die to yourself by deciding to do so. It is impossible for the ego to make a suicide. That's why they talk about grace.
To me this sounds a little bit like you are having trouble justifying your style of life to other people, and feel it would be easier to do so if you were a nun. Am I right?
Agree with the "kill" your ego and be enlightened comment. When I was first discerning, I talked to a campus minister and said "being a nun sounds like the ultimate sacrifice you can make to God. And I just feel like if I know that it is there, I have to do it" and she said "well, God wants you to be happy, he doesn't 'need' you to do anything to make him happy, but to live the life he intended for you." And...a few months ago I read the bible verse "For I desire love, not sacrifice" which really spoke to me. It showed me that
1. God doesn't want my victim attitude for the sacrifice
2. Whatever I do, I need to do it out of complete love and joy, not because I think it will make me look good
To answer your question, no. Not really, at all. I think I am having more trouble justifying my style of life to myself.
No, martyr is a label that doesn't suit me. I consider myself a spiritually minded person, and I do have... ascetic tendencies.. but I've always had a fighter mentality. Not to say I'm a contentious person. I just don't take suffering well, like a martyr does. And I don't take other people's suffering well without looking for someone or something to blame for it. And then trying to create solutions with that in mind.. that there is something that needs to be stopped. Not something I need to suffer through myself. It's just how my mind works. If we're talking Catholics, my "patron" saint is Joan of Arc, if anyone. If I had to choose, I'd rather be burned at the stake for raising my voice rather than be someone like Father Damien who died quietly and tragically, serving a leper colony and then contracting the disease himself. Stories of real martyr types kind of frustrate and confound me, even just reading about them.
I see where you're coming from. And I guess I will say (at the very end of my post...) that maybe the martyr title for this post wasn't a good idea. I think people (myself included) put nuns in a box and think they will be living in a small community and serving the nice little people around them and then going to church to pray about it. But there are lots of communities that do lots of different things, not just "standing in solidarity". I more identify with that too, actually - doing something to stop the pain as opposed to just enduring it for pain's sake. That sounds ridiculous. Although I don't look down on Fr. Damien as much. I think it was courageous him - and most likely showed the secluded lepers that they were people, after all. I guess that is the beauty of saints, there are many to look up to and be inspired by.
Ok now that I'm done let me just say, my battle is more of an internal one. Where, I used to think I had to make this ultimate sacrifice. Once I realized I don't have to, I still feel a pull to that and think it might be in my cards. It scares me, and I would like to say that I know I am getting married, but I don't get that feeling. And I keep going in circles and it drives me crazy sometimes. I am going to a "discernment night" soon so...maybe that will help me make sense of the jungle of thoughts.
Thanks everyone