BalanceFind
New member
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2011
- Messages
- 144
My question is how can I communicate with a temporarily unhealthy Infj (enneagram 4w3), who has "dropped" me?
I've recently had to put limits (economically) on an infj. Much to my shock, I was "dropped" by this person. It's essential for a wide variety of reasons (business and personal) that I communicate regularly and effectively with this person and repair any problems. What I mean is I don't have a luxury of time of having this no contact drag out any longer.
This is a good person, that has been going through some stress for a period of time. I've known her 9 years, and I've dated her for the past 4 years. So, this is someone I speak with daily. And, I've never been dropped before by this person in all this time. The current length of no communication time between us is 2 months and counting, and that's never come close to happening before.
Under periods of extreme stress, which aren't that often, but have been lately, her biggest weakness is money. She can exhibit some of the negative traits of the ESTP type. She will impulse buy things beyond her means. And, then she gets herself into a financial pickle that needs cleaning up.
First and foremost I want her to be well and get healthy. Then of course I want to repair our relationship, as I also have faults and I'm an equal participant, but third, I have big commitments and responsibilities to other people professionally and personallythat are being affected by her behavior. I do not have the time to wait any longer for any space, etc...
The immediate previous behavior of her prior to the "dropping," was a walking on egg shell phase, overly perfectionistic and touchy to an extreme. She went through the motions of daily life and obligations, but secretly in her own imagination. Prior to this, she would return to her high functioning, highly productive and independent normal self in the past.
Any advice, tips, thoughts, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks much.
I've recently had to put limits (economically) on an infj. Much to my shock, I was "dropped" by this person. It's essential for a wide variety of reasons (business and personal) that I communicate regularly and effectively with this person and repair any problems. What I mean is I don't have a luxury of time of having this no contact drag out any longer.
This is a good person, that has been going through some stress for a period of time. I've known her 9 years, and I've dated her for the past 4 years. So, this is someone I speak with daily. And, I've never been dropped before by this person in all this time. The current length of no communication time between us is 2 months and counting, and that's never come close to happening before.
Under periods of extreme stress, which aren't that often, but have been lately, her biggest weakness is money. She can exhibit some of the negative traits of the ESTP type. She will impulse buy things beyond her means. And, then she gets herself into a financial pickle that needs cleaning up.
First and foremost I want her to be well and get healthy. Then of course I want to repair our relationship, as I also have faults and I'm an equal participant, but third, I have big commitments and responsibilities to other people professionally and personallythat are being affected by her behavior. I do not have the time to wait any longer for any space, etc...
The immediate previous behavior of her prior to the "dropping," was a walking on egg shell phase, overly perfectionistic and touchy to an extreme. She went through the motions of daily life and obligations, but secretly in her own imagination. Prior to this, she would return to her high functioning, highly productive and independent normal self in the past.
Any advice, tips, thoughts, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks much.