How to show an ENFJ I like her

[INTP!]

Don't worry, in such situation (seduction) everybody wanna seem natural but we all suck

The situation is awkward until you can be sure the other one is into you as well.

I may be showing I like her because no one can complete hide that, especially to someone w good people skills

So did she show some signs ? I think you are too much discrete to show an extrovert lady some interest.

But that is some generality and it depends on many other stuffs.

You are INTP and you don't flirt enough, you are reserved and probably very polite. I'd advise you to use your witty spirit

I am ESFP, a guy who is interested can think I like to flirt and have fun with anybody (I just enjoy high energy), if he misunderstands me.

I'm the contrary of you in a way...

Thanks for the reply. I'm a little confused by your wording in some parts. But yeah, I'm too discrete in showing how I feel. I actually do know how to do that, but I choose not to in some situations like this. I want circumstances to line up in a way that is more practical. For example, not living with her Ex, living near me, not in the middle of moving, etc. And some stuff having to do with me. So I have a block on being direct and would rather have this evolve for the very near future. I'll make a point to be less reserved and more witty, like you say.

 

[INTP!]

Just say something like, "Every time we meet, we always seem to have wonderful conversations. Would you care to continue those conversations over a cup of coffee?"

There's your one-on-one without sounding like you overanalyzed it.

For the record, this tends to work with anyone of any type who happens to be interested in you, not just ENFJs. If they're not interested in you, their answer of "No, thank you" should be taken as confirmation of that lack of interest. Simple, no?

I would never say anything like that...lol. But, I understand that you are suggesting just asking her out.

 

[INTP!]

ENFJ are great at reading people, and are great at subtly controlling conversation the tone, content etc They love conversation almost as a hobby, they are great conversationalist and really enjoy sharing their thoughts, feelings, dreams, observations. This might make them hard to read especially for INTPs because they can enjoy great conversation and not have feelings for you but for them to have feelings for you, there has to be some great conversation between you two. I think ENFJ women like to be friends with a guy before intimacy, because they take time to really know how they feel about a single individual. I think it's also difficult to make an impression on NFJ women because they are focused on connection as a whole with people before anything else. They will usually drop hints, but you will probably have to ask her out and be direct.

Yeah, I can see that it's not something unusual for an ENFJ to have great conversations with a lot of people. It's not a "sign" of interest by itself. It's like how an INTP, would enjoy thinking about a lot of things, because they think a lot.

ENFJ women take a lot of time to really know how they feel about someone? I didn't know that. What are they looking for, to decide what their feelings are?

What kind of hints have you observed coming from ENTJs, who are interested in someone?

 

[INTP!]

Something else I observed... She is kind of heavy on the "That's a good idea." or "That's smart" comments. I just noticed, because it's not something I hear a lot of people saying frequently. Is that an ENFJ thing?

I noticed something that for relationships, I always end up with someone who gives a lot of compliments to people they just meet or don't know really well. I guess it's nice in a way, but I don't take them as that sincere. It's like they have a need for people to like them and to make interactions nice on the surface. It's not that I find them insincere in their interest in everyone. It's just that the compliments might have a purpose beyond, just saying what they think.

 

[human101]

[MENTION=8437]human101[/MENTION] You always advise to be direct

I don't think an INTP asking for advise is ready to be direct....look at me, even being an extrovert I wonder what could be the best !!

Imagine an introvert with a rational mind [MENTION=27688]INTP![/MENTION] What have you been doing with that girl

at the moment ?

Maybe I'll take advise for my own situation near by that INTP now

lol I advise directness because, I think after a certain age you should just go after what you want. I also find NFJs to be subtle, INTPs find the whole mating dance to be confusing so he should take his time but observe any sudden changed in her disposition towards him, you really have to read ENFJs well.

 

[human101]

Yeah, I can see that it's not something unusual for an ENFJ to have great conversations with a lot of people. It's not a "sign" of interest by itself. It's like how an INTP, would enjoy thinking about a lot of things, because they think a lot.

ENFJ women take a lot of time to really know how they feel about someone? I didn't know that. What are they looking for, to decide what their feelings are?

What kind of hints have you observed coming from ENTJs, who are interested in someone?

Yeah ENFJ needs time figure out her feelings she might invite you somewhere not because she likes you, but because she might like you she wants to explore the possibility. Do you hang out with her in groups, how does she interact with you when other people are around?

ENTJs or ENFJ?

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

lol I advise directness because, I think after a certain age you should just go after what you want. I also find NFJs to be subtle, INTPs find the whole mating dance to be confusing so he should take his time but observe any sudden changed in her disposition towards him, you really have to read ENFJs well.

INTP are not the only one to get more and more confused...... (I'm turning into INTP now because of my situation).

I find any mating dance quite confusing, for the ones that go beyond apparences of course...

https://youtu.be/DTCJaTm2ukw

 

[human101]

INTP are not the only one to get more and more confused...... (I'm turning into INTP now because of my situation).

I find any mating dance quite confusing, for the ones that go beyond apparences of course...

https://youtu.be/DTCJaTm2ukw

LOL I genuinely laughed, you're quirky.

I guess it's a bit awkward for everyone but if any type can cut through the awkwardness it's an ESFP, because they can be direct but light hearted at the same time. The only reason why I would tell the intp to be direct is because the longer they are confused with no resolution the less confidence they will have in the situation.

 

[INTP!]

Yeah ENFJ needs time figure out her feelings she might invite you somewhere not because she likes you, but because she might like you she wants to explore the possibility. Do you hang out with her in groups, how does she interact with you when other people are around?

ENTJs or ENFJ?

Oops, I meant ENFJ.

Yeah, it's just groups, 3 times. We break off and talk one on one, which is initiated by her. I don't mean leave the area of the group, but it's one on one conversations. That's 95% of our interaction. So she definitely makes a point to get into one on one conversations almost right away. The rest is with a few other people around. I am more quiet when there is group conversations. But I will ask her a question sometimes. I can't really judge how she acts in group conversations. Seems kind of neutral. But making a point to get into conversations one on one right away, seems to stand out.

That's interesting about her might liking me. I know if I like someone pretty quickly. But I don't know if I want to date them until more info is gathered. That's because there could be something discovered that I can't live with. I have looked her up online and she has a lot of info posted on social media. I have none. So there are a lot of things I know about her that she hasn't told me and I haven't asked about. I haven't found anything that would tell me not to date her. But I feel kind of weird knowing more about her that she doesn't know I know. I know it sounds a little creepy too, but these things are easily found online and not secrets to the world who knows her name.

 

[INTP!]

I have a question about ENFJs and socializing while they are dating or in a relationship. I noticed from her facebook, that she is having dinner or lunch with a friend and it's always one on one. Or she is at a small family gathering. There aren't pictures or mentions of hanging out with friends in groups. But she has several friends.

So if they were dating someone regularly, would they want that person to come along with them to those luches/dinner with a friend? Or do they still prefer to do that alone and meet up with whoever they are dating separately.

 

[Tilt]

Something else I observed... She is kind of heavy on the "That's a good idea." or "That's smart" comments. I just noticed, because it's not something I hear a lot of people saying frequently. Is that an ENFJ thing?

I noticed something that for relationships, I always end up with someone who gives a lot of compliments to people they just meet or don't know really well. I guess it's nice in a way, but I don't take them as that sincere. It's like they have a need for people to like them and to make interactions nice on the surface. It's not that I find them insincere in their interest in everyone. It's just that the compliments might have a purpose beyond, just saying what they think.

I say a lot of those type of compliments to people especially men. However, I have to like them to some degree in order to do so. The frequency and intensity of those compliments are typically indicative of how much I like the person.

 

[INTP!]

I say a lot of those type of compliments to people especially men. However, I have to like them to some degree in order to do so. The frequency and intensity of those compliments are typically indicative of how much I like the person.

Is that something you do on purpose. I mean, do you make a point to do that for the purpose of showing you like them? Or is it an observation that you do that more with people you like more?

 

[Tilt]

Is that something you do on purpose. I mean, do you make a point to do that for the purpose of showing you like them? Or is it an observation that you do that more with people you like more?

It's both. I like to emphasize what I like about a person. The more of a point I make of it, the more I like the person in general.

 

[INTP!]

It's both. I like to emphasize what I like about a person. The more of a point I make of it, the more I like the person in general.

Oh that's kind of cute.

 

[uumlau]

[MENTION=26163]Protege[/MENTION] knows what she's talking about.

 

[á´…eparted]

It's both. I like to emphasize what I like about a person. The more of a point I make of it, the more I like the person in general.

Yep.

As a general rule, if an ENFJ likes you, they will focus a lot of attention on you, talk to you lots, want to spend lots of time with you, and be pretty open and expressive.

 

[INTP!]

Yep.

As a general rule, if an ENFJ likes you, they will focus a lot of attention on you, talk to you lots, want to spend lots of time with you, and be pretty open and expressive.

What should one do to encourage this?

 

[á´…eparted]

What should one do to encourage this?

There really isn't anything you can do. Be yourself. They'll either like you or they won't. Sometimes it takes a long time, othertimes it's quick. It really depends on the person. If I get the sense that someone is trying to do stuff to get me to like them, I usually pull back. That to me seems forced, hallow, and disingenuious, and thus is a pretty big putoff.

 

[INTP!]

There really isn't anything you can do. Be yourself. They'll either like you or they won't. Sometimes it takes a long time, othertimes it's quick. It really depends on the person. If I get the sense that someone is trying to do stuff to get me to like them, I usually pull back. That to me seems forced, hallow, and disingenuious, and thus is a pretty big putoff.

Ok I'm not trying to get her to like me. More like show her I like her. I want to know how to get closer, assuming we both like each other. Just so I don't stall things.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I have a question about ENFJs and socializing while they are dating or in a relationship. I noticed from her facebook, that she is having dinner or lunch with a friend and it's always one on one. Or she is at a small family gathering. There aren't pictures or mentions of hanging out with friends in groups. But she has several friends.

So if they were dating someone regularly, would they want that person to come along with them to those luches/dinner with a friend? Or do they still prefer to do that alone and meet up with whoever they are dating separately.

That depends if ...she is the feminine part of a swinger couple