How to show an ENFJ I like her

[entropie]

lol. This is the same prototype thread that has been circulating Type C for half a dozen years! It will go on for 100 pages, and everyone will just end up frustrated with you because you won't ask her out and then the thread will finally die.

Just ask her out already!! Then tell us how it goes.

Jesus loves you, you have a man !

 

[INTP!]

Just be yourself. Say something or ask something that will maker her think. If she talks about a certain topic, then throw out a random tidbit which INTPs are usually good at. If the atmosphere gets too heavy, throw in a light-hearted remark... banter. Whenever a guy gets me to think in different ways... probes my mind a bit, it exhilarates me as an ENFJ female.

This is good. We could cover a lot of topics and not run out of things to say. Plus she seemed amused by my random comments or observations. This sums up why I'm interested in her. That and we seem to have a few common interest, where it would be easy to spend time together.

 

[1487610420]

make babies

 

[entropie]

This is good. We could cover a lot of topics and not run out of things to say. Plus she seemed amused by my random comments or observations. This sums up why I'm interested in her. That and we seem to have a few common interest, where it would be easy to spend time together.

and if it doesnt, just kill her and live with the corpse

 

[entropie]

Jesus loves you, you have a man !

[MENTION=6336]AphroditeGoneAwry[/MENTION]

What? I get a like for that ????!

Thought you say, fuck Jesus I want you !

 

[INTP!]

lol. This is the same prototype thread that has been circulating Type C for half a dozen years! It will go on for 100 pages, and everyone will just end up frustrated with you because you won't ask her out and then the thread will finally die.

Just ask her out already!! Then tell us how it goes.

You'll have to be patient. I'll probably only run into her once every couple weeks. When I meet someone I like like her, I almost always let them know I like them or they do. I'll see her next weekend. Hopefully I can get an idea where this is headed then.

 

[Tilt]

This is good. We could cover a lot of topics and not run out of things to say. Plus she seemed amused by my random comments or observations. This sums up why I'm interested in her. That and we seem to have a few common interest, where it would be easy to spend time together.

If the interaction is pretty balanced, then chances are that she's interested. Plus, the energy will tend to be a steady stream of enthusiasm and the face will tend to completely light up on a regular basis ... Fe interest is like a tidal wave of emotion.

 

[INTP!]

If the interaction is pretty balanced, then chances are that she's interested. Plus, the energy will tend to be a steady stream of enthusiasm and the face will tend to completely light up on a regular basis ... Fe interest is like a tidal wave of emotion.

yes, it seems like this. it's easy and not like an episode of one person hitting on the other. seems more like a like-like situation.

 

[INTP!]

and if it doesnt, just kill her and live with the corpse

you sound like my entp ex. she says a lot of inappropriate jokes. i get them and think they're funny. but i filter those out for people i don't know well. some people can't tell when someone is crazy vs. joking.

 

[entropie]

you sound like my entp ex. she says a lot of inappropriate jokes. i get them and think they're funny. but i filter those out for people i don't know well. some people can't tell when someone is crazy vs. joking.

your wisodm about life i wont overcome

 

[Cloudpatrol]

ikr

I don't have any "type" advice per se but your enthusiasm for her person is delicious to observe. Part of attraction to someone is the thrill of them returning the feelings but part of it is the simple joy of appreciating someone.

It's really cool you have time to get to know each other for a bit (friendship is a great foundation!) I respect how you are letting her finish all ex-business and then festivities can hopefully commence.

 

[Tilt]

you sound like my entp ex. she says a lot of inappropriate jokes. i get them and think they're funny. but i filter those out for people i don't know well. some people can't tell when someone is crazy vs. joking.

Ohhh... once I feel close and comfortable with someone, I love off-color humor. However, an Fe dominant won't tend to like that until she gets a feel for you. It's a gradual process though.

 

[Kheledon]

Oh, ok. I'm just confused, because others are saying that she would have been able to tell for sure I like her. I'm going to continue to make an effort to talk to her and get to know her more and steer the conversation to more personal relationship topics. I don't think there is ever a point where you should stop working for someone, even after you are dating or in a relationship.

I'm pretty clueless too about knowing peoples intentions, so much so I am often very surprised when people have proclaimed their feelings for me, like I didn't see it coming at all at least half the time. Those are the cases where I don't like them, usually. When I do like them I can kind of tell if they like be, but there is a lot of doubt.

I have to both agree and disagree. She might have felt at that moment that you liked her, but the victim romance style is dynamic (as is ENFj). It's very aware of changes over time. It actively fears changes over time (when it comes to relationships), so the fact that you showed interest one day does not mean (to her) that you will be interested in her the next day. She fears that your interest is dynamic. As such, she needs your persistence and regular reassurance that your interest is stable. Thus, from the source I posted above:

inclined to question whether or not the other person's interest will remain constant with time.

Victim - Wikisocion

And, it is a game, and it's a pain in the derriere. Sorry. There's nothing for it, but it might be worth it. ENFj seeks stable, life-long relationships, and they make for excellent lovers, presumably. They need to be close ... a lot.

 

[INTP!]

I have to both agree and disagree. She might have felt at that moment that you liked her, but the victim romance style is dynamic (as is ENFj). It's very aware of changes over time. It actively fears changes over time (when it comes to relationships), so the fact that you showed interest one day does not mean (to her) that you will be interested in her the next day. She fears that your interest is dynamic. As such, she needs your persistence and regular reassurance that your interest is stable. Thus, from the source I posted above:

And, it is a game, and it's a pain in the derriere. Sorry. There's nothing for it, but it might be worth it. ENFj seeks stable, life-long relationships, and they make for excellent lovers, presumably. They need to be close ... a lot.

Ok, that makes sense. I think the same things and pay attention to see if behavior is consistent.

 

[meowington]

Well I'm not an ENFJ but ...I suppose that with Fe dominant she already knows you want her

First thing to cross my mind after reading tread title.

 

[chubber]

ENFj is a prize that must be won. She's also a "victim" in the sense that she wants the attention of lots of suitors throwing themselves at her, making her a "victim" of their romantic interest. That's what makes her a prize. You have to work for it. Don't look at other women. Don't talk to other women. Focus all of your attention on her. Earn her.

Good luck!

INTP in MBTI is suppose to match LII-INTj with the romance style of Childlike, but it doesn't always clearly map over like that. So there is a slight possibility that he might actually be ILI-INTp (Victim). Just random FYI here to OP.

 

[Kheledon]

INTP in MBTI is suppose to match LII-INTj with the romance style of Childlike, but it doesn't always clearly map over like that. So there is a slight possibility that he might actually be ILI-INTp (Victim). Just random FYI here to OP.

Quite possible. If so, it will be "difficult" for them to "hook up." EIE wants an aggressor, but when playing the "game" can give a childlike type some nurturer or give a victim type some aggressor. Of course, there's no guarantee that she's an EIE, so it's very hard to determine anything with confidence in this case.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

I have to both agree and disagree. She might have felt at that moment that you liked her, but the victim romance style is dynamic (as is ENFj). It's very aware of changes over time. It actively fears changes over time (when it comes to relationships), so the fact that you showed interest one day does not mean (to her) that you will be interested in her the next day. She fears that your interest is dynamic. As such, she needs your persistence and regular reassurance that your interest is stable. Thus, from the source I posted above:



And, it is a game, and it's a pain in the derriere. Sorry. There's nothing for it, but it might be worth it. ENFj seeks stable, life-long relationships, and they make for excellent lovers, presumably. They need to be close ... a lot.

I guess this is true for me. I need daily affirmations someone still feels the same way for me, or more. I am very sensitive to the atmosphere or climate of a relationship. Probably even hypervigilant. So if you think it's taking you energy to give me daily affirmations, I'm probably expending at least twice or more the amount of energy being concerned (even unconsciously) about it... Add to that my personal history of neglect and abandonment, and, well, I'm a hot mess.

This socionics stuff is accurate and fine-tuned! Thank you! So helpful.

But I am not a ENFJ in MBTI, but an INFJ. Just to be clear, it is different in socionics.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

You have to work for it. Focus all of your attention on her. Earn her.

Isn't this true for every woman

Don't look at other women. Don't talk to other women.




Don't look other women you INTP !

I had guys too who could not bear me to smile to other guys, even if I had no sexual intention...

I found this jealousy very sad.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

Seriously [MENTION=27688]INTP![/MENTION] where are you now with that prey ?

To make her feel special you'll have to be a bit "nosey" hey... as you said