When you have a crush, does it last for a long or short unit of time?
Do you view your crush as an idealized version of her/himself, oblivious to the real person? Or is it just that you're so forgiving that you don't care about the faults that you see existing?
How much does this crush influence your decisions? (As an NT, I think it influences my feelings but not my final decision. It just makes the decision-making-process take longer b/c of all the feeling getting in the way.)
My crushes usually last for a long time...sometimes for years. Generally, I don't bother liking someone unless I see them as someone I would be realistically compatible with for long periods of time. The thing with crushes is, I'm usually too scared to do anything about it. It seems I'm always waiting for the guy to take the initiative and ask me out...because, well, he is the guy (yeah, I'm a little old-fashioned). Emotional vulnerability is not something I am good with, so it's pretty unlikely I'd make the first move. Even if I have strong feelings I usually play them down IRL.
I don't idealize people...I tend to see them for who they are, and when they do have faults/idiosyncracies I might actually see it as something attractive because it means they are being real with me as opposed to putting up a front.
My crushes can influence my decisions quite a bit depending on how important they are. They are likely to have some influence on day-to-day decisions, but my big decisions (ex) (like where I live/go to school) are ultimately my own.
Actually, this poses a question that maybe a few of you INTJ's can answer. I have known a certain INTJ for roughly 5 years. We used to work together, and have since ended up attending the same university. Over the past couple of years or so we have gotten closer, and he is one of my best friends. I have liked him for a long time, but I'm not sure that I should express this to him because I don't know if he thinks of me as just a friend or something more. It's strange though, because we go out by ourselves pretty much on a weekly basis, and he'll often offer to pay for my meal etc. We're comfortable with talking and being around each other, but it is always slightly awkward because I can't read what he is thinking. Any thoughts or suggestions?