Rachelinpa
New member
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2008
- Messages
- 878
- MBTI Type
- ENFP
I currently live with an ISTJ (and others) and we are moving at the end of August. We are moving because ISTJ suddenly declared that he was going to buy a house. When several months ago questioned, "ISTJ, what will then become of me?" He shrugged and said, "Well, I'll need a roommate." And, that was that.
Last month, when following up with the ISTJ on this housing matter, I found out he was going to possibly purchase a house and let his British friend live with him either instead of me or in addition to me. Basically, I was potentially going to be phased out depending on his plans. I understand that ISTJ is not as relational as me, but it still hurt that he did not think of me in his planning process and was only concerned with his own affairs. So, after composing a list of 50 Reasons Why I Would Make A Better Roommate... and a great deal of whining to him... I started looking for places on my own.
Funny thing is, turns out the Brit couldn't live with him after all, and ISTJ was sort of stuck by default with me as the only other option. He said that he would want to live with me, and would try to make that happen, but I do wonder if it is just because I was available and a good roommate (never for a second did I actually think my 50 reasons, while appropriately full of wit and persuasive hilarity were factors in convincing him). At any rate, I agreed to live with him and that was that.
Long story short, I have been waiting for ISTJ to buy a house for a couple of months now, and in three weeks, I will be homeless. I found a nice place I could live which is closer to where I work with a few other people my age. The rent would be cheaper than with ISTJ, but at the cost of living with strangers. Thing is, they need to know like TODAY if I want to move in because they are showing their house to other potential roommates. I have already obviously committed to ISTJ, but he isn't responding to me in a very timely fashion or... even at all. He dodges the issue because it stresses him out.
I guess my question to all you ISTJs would be... what should I do? What's the best way to approach my ISTJ roommate to tell him that really, I would prefer to live with him, but he needs to let me know what he is doing! (I already emailed him this yesterday and he told me in person that he would write me back this morning, but that has not happened yet)
I want to be fair to my commitment to him, but at the same time, I want to know that I have a place to live! Thoughts?
Last month, when following up with the ISTJ on this housing matter, I found out he was going to possibly purchase a house and let his British friend live with him either instead of me or in addition to me. Basically, I was potentially going to be phased out depending on his plans. I understand that ISTJ is not as relational as me, but it still hurt that he did not think of me in his planning process and was only concerned with his own affairs. So, after composing a list of 50 Reasons Why I Would Make A Better Roommate... and a great deal of whining to him... I started looking for places on my own.
Funny thing is, turns out the Brit couldn't live with him after all, and ISTJ was sort of stuck by default with me as the only other option. He said that he would want to live with me, and would try to make that happen, but I do wonder if it is just because I was available and a good roommate (never for a second did I actually think my 50 reasons, while appropriately full of wit and persuasive hilarity were factors in convincing him). At any rate, I agreed to live with him and that was that.
Long story short, I have been waiting for ISTJ to buy a house for a couple of months now, and in three weeks, I will be homeless. I found a nice place I could live which is closer to where I work with a few other people my age. The rent would be cheaper than with ISTJ, but at the cost of living with strangers. Thing is, they need to know like TODAY if I want to move in because they are showing their house to other potential roommates. I have already obviously committed to ISTJ, but he isn't responding to me in a very timely fashion or... even at all. He dodges the issue because it stresses him out.
I guess my question to all you ISTJs would be... what should I do? What's the best way to approach my ISTJ roommate to tell him that really, I would prefer to live with him, but he needs to let me know what he is doing! (I already emailed him this yesterday and he told me in person that he would write me back this morning, but that has not happened yet)
I want to be fair to my commitment to him, but at the same time, I want to know that I have a place to live! Thoughts?