jenocyde
half mystic, half skeksis
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2009
- Messages
- 6,387
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
- Enneagram
- 7w8
Also, I think they sorta need to be adored a bit too much sometimes, so that the slightest expression, however calm or respectful, of disapproval or disagreement with a way that they've behaved can be taken as a great attack on them and they react very very defensively. Whilst all the time trying to pin the blame for what they call "the argument" (but which needn't have been one if they'd responded as calmly as you initiated) on you, projecting their own oversensitivity onto you.
I've noticed a tendency in my brother and another couple of ENFP's that I know, to be just incapable of ever apologizing. They have an image of themselves as being very gracious and generous and all that, but if you actually put it to the test you find that to them it's all about them, no matter how much you say it's not about criticizing or attacking them but about trying to express how you feel, they still seem much more intent on just shutting you up and they're happy to sweep it under the carpet without giving you the chance to properly have your say, no matter how frustrated or upset that leaves you, as long as they don't have to listen to anything that might imply that they're not perfect, and as long as the "conflict" ends. They use the word "conflict" to mean "somebody speaking in a voice that isn't either completely flat or jokey and laughing, particularly when they're talking about me".
+1
More often than not, I am forced to apologize for daring to 'criticize' them, especially in my 'horrible, brutish' manner. The tears, the agony.
But ironically, the initial criticism/issue never gets addressed. The argument is always about how I say something, but never what I actually say. It can be a bit annoying. But whatever...