I won't say something that isn't the truth. For instance, if I really don't wish I could talk with someone, I won't say that, though I will point out that I have pressing work to do. The strategies I mentioned are used primarily when escape is not an option, as in the example conversation with my host family. I also use them when I do want to talk to the other person but either don't want my interest in a specific topic to be obvious, or don't want to call attention to the fact that I wish to avoid a certain topic. It may sound like work, but isn't really - feels more like a game, though a serious and purposeful one.
All of those phrases from my post I imagined as being entirely truthful. But it would be untruthful for me to say that I would never bend the truth if backed into a social corner. It really angers me though...finding myself in this kind of position. It makes me feel a great deal of resentment due to already despising social dynamics and bullshit.
Two weeks ago this happened and I'm still annoyed. I would be so curious to know how you would have handled this situation if in my same shoes...
My father has always been so paranoid about the sharing of any kind of personal, identifying information...and now I'm totally paranoid of my own accord ('of my own accord' doesn't sound right but I'm leaving it in). Two weeks ago I was out of town and in a cute little old lady's yarn shop and we were having an interesting conversation about the history of the area and her store...how she went into business for herself... And then out of the blue "So where are you from?" And I respond with the "such-and-such area"...which just happened to be where she is/was originally from (she lived in my town for many years). So now she's asking me very specific things...near this lake? close to this street?
I completely froze because I've been programmed since birth not to provide this kind of information. With men and female contemporaries...I've always been able to pull off some clever form of "I never give out personal information about myself"...but I was absolutely convinced that saying to this lady "if I told you I would have to kill you"...would fuck up what we had ha. No, I just knew it would be offensive to her in some unknown to me social way...to say "I don't share private information"...she would hear "you don't seem trustworthy to me"...you know that weird social shit where A doesn't really mean A it actually means B? I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I felt stuck and like the room was spinning and I was taking too long to answer...and so I pretended I had a normal father for a few seconds and lied about the street and lake.
What would you have done Coriolis? Like...I don't get the sense you guys have the same compulsion to protect the little old lady's *feelings* and so you would have answered truthfully if you were me but I don't know...