Well, I assume it definitely helps. But having gone through dysthemia and having lived in a very close relationship with a clinically depressed person is also instructive.
Another thing is that time plays a major factor, in other words two people can feel very similar but one goes back to normal/default after a while and the other gets stuck in this poisened brain chemistry. The first is considered normal, the latter suffers from depression. While the first person lacks that chronic aspect and has not experienced first hand what it means when there is no light at the end of the tunnel because the tunnel seems to have no end, he has still been to the tunnel.
Not seeing any f*ing point to life, feeling like a cockroach and a total failure in everything, hysterically crying your eyes out in a fetal position on the kitchen floor, not being able to imagine how life could possible go on, at least theoretically contemplating suicide, lying awake at night in panic because you just know that your life is about to go down the drain and you'll die poor and lonely under a bridge, sleeping in your cloths on a bed that still has stuff piled up on it, not even noticing that you haven't cleaned the house in weeks, sleeping 12 hours and more and still not having the energy to do anything but the most basic chores of life, not knowing who you hate more, yourself or those shallow happy people out there, totally withdrawing into your head because you just want to be left alone and nobody would truely understand anyway,.......
....these are things that many go through to some degree or other at some point in their life without suffering from depression in the sense of the medical definition. And having gone through that should help understand somebody who lives through months and years of this. At least if they are not an insensitve dick.
Basic rules for bystanders:
- Don't say "cheer up"" or "you'll see it'll get better", they don't see it, that's the frigging point!
- If this persists and is a real burden on the person's quality of life, they wil eventually need help, but you can't force somebody to get that help, they have to want it and take the first step
- Don't give them the fifth degree but make sure they know you are not a fair weather friend (or only like them when they are happy rays of sunshine) and are there when they need company or somebody to emo vomit on
- While an outside perspective might be helpful in some cases when their judgement is impaired and their worldview distorted, don't abuse this to play the "you are imagining things!"-card whenever there is a disagreement or they will (rightfully) get the impression that you aren't taking them serious
How did I do (for an outsider)?