Retmeishka
New member
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2011
- Messages
- 239
- MBTI Type
- ISTP
I feel like if only I were a yielding type, I'd be super-rich right now. A yielding type is able to change and sacrifice their interests, and I figured out how this applies to me.
I read 'The Millionaire Fastlane' last year. It's actually a very good book. But I knew that I would not be able to do most of the things recommended in the book, and I had no way to verbalize it until I started learning about yielding versus obstinate.
I am obstinate (SLI/ISTP). And it does describe me accurately. I don't freak out if somebody intrudes into my physical territory or my physical belongings - I might not really be happy about it, but I don't have a stroke over it. However, I know certain other people who I have had a conflict with recently, who is a yielding type, and she DID 'have a stroke' over something which I perceived as a trivial and harmless minor violation of her physical space. My cat peed in her litter box and it smelled bad - she responded by yelling for me to come downstairs, telling me that he 'sprayed' someplace when he didn't - he never sprays, ever, he just pees the normal way - and then strongly suggesting that I get him neutered, which I will not do. I fixed the problem instantly by using the scoop to cover up the pee in the litter box - problem solved.
Most of my conflicts with her are over stuff like that. Her cat, meanwhile, IS NEUTERED. And yet, if I leave my door open, he will sometimes come upstairs and pee ON MY FLOOR, not even in a litter box - it's hardwood, so it's easy to wipe it off the floor. Did I freak out and yell about it? Nope, not a word from me. I wasn't thrilled, but I also wasn't having a massive freakout session or threatening to harm her cat. It's just an effing floor (material resource - no big deal).
Sorry, that incident was still fresh in my mind from a day or two ago.
Anyway, if I could be a yielding/compliant type, I wouldn't care so much about my interests, and this has always held me back. The reason why I can't become super-rich is because I can't force myself to care about things that I don't care about (interests). If only I could, I'd be able to press the magic button to acquire infinite wealth!
For example, I have no interest in, say, producing horrible useless garbage and getting rich by selling it. But other people have no qualms about becoming multimillionaires by selling tons and tons of awful garbage that they themselves cannot possibly be all that interested in. You do whatever the marketplace demands. If the marketplace is willing to buy horrible garbage, then sell them tons and tons of it, and get rich! You don't HAVE to be interested in producing, I dunno, something boring. You know, cardboard boxes or something. Somebody somewhere is a carboard-box-making millionaire, because they don't care about the fact that making cardboard boxes isn't interesting. Who cares about my interests, I'll spend all my time doing something that's really boring, and learning about the cardboard box manufacturing industry, because that's where the money is! That's just an example. This happens to me almost no matter what industry I try to imagine myself going into. It's always some sort of conflict of interests for me.
I was starting to make this into a blog, but then decided maybe it was postable on the forum, so I won't go on and on forever. I'm just saying, for some reason, the obstinate/compliant (or yielding, or whatever) dichotomy really does seem to exist, and I've seen it in all the types that they say it's in. Compliant types will say 'How dare you lay a finger on my personal belongings,' but yet they don't mind learning about some topic which, originally, was boring to them, but somebody else demands it, and they can become skillful at producing products in the marketplace that they themselves don't necessarily like or want, because other people want them.
My feelings about this are a sort of envy and disgust. It's like 'selling out.' You didn't hold on to the things that mattered to you, forever and ever from the moment you were born? You changed your interests and went along with someone else's interests? But what about what you originally wanted? I view that as 'selling out,' betraying something you originally believed in, but it's not that simple. I just can't imagine interests being something negotiable, and yet, I wish I could - I'd be able to get a job ANYWHERE doing things I don't like to do, and I could start my own business doing something I hate, selling something I hate, producing things that are boring and garbage - but hey, I'd be rich!
('Not being rich' is an issue for me right now, and I am job hunting.)
But I totally get the idea of interests being sacred and untouchable, not something you can negotiate. If I'm a cartoonist, but I'm not interested in drawing bears, then I find it extremely difficult to force myself to draw cartoon bears for somebody just because somebody else liked it (this actually happened to me when I was a teenager - a girl in my school asked if I could draw some bears in a little scenario for her, and I tried, but I wasn't happy with it). If I was getting paid to draw bears, when I didn't particularly enjoy drawing bears (I was a dogs-and-dragons-and-weirdly-dressed-ladies type of cartoonist, apparently), I would have felt constantly miserable and would have been secretly waiting for the day when I could draw whatever I wanted to draw again (holding on to original interests over time).
I read 'The Millionaire Fastlane' last year. It's actually a very good book. But I knew that I would not be able to do most of the things recommended in the book, and I had no way to verbalize it until I started learning about yielding versus obstinate.
I am obstinate (SLI/ISTP). And it does describe me accurately. I don't freak out if somebody intrudes into my physical territory or my physical belongings - I might not really be happy about it, but I don't have a stroke over it. However, I know certain other people who I have had a conflict with recently, who is a yielding type, and she DID 'have a stroke' over something which I perceived as a trivial and harmless minor violation of her physical space. My cat peed in her litter box and it smelled bad - she responded by yelling for me to come downstairs, telling me that he 'sprayed' someplace when he didn't - he never sprays, ever, he just pees the normal way - and then strongly suggesting that I get him neutered, which I will not do. I fixed the problem instantly by using the scoop to cover up the pee in the litter box - problem solved.
Most of my conflicts with her are over stuff like that. Her cat, meanwhile, IS NEUTERED. And yet, if I leave my door open, he will sometimes come upstairs and pee ON MY FLOOR, not even in a litter box - it's hardwood, so it's easy to wipe it off the floor. Did I freak out and yell about it? Nope, not a word from me. I wasn't thrilled, but I also wasn't having a massive freakout session or threatening to harm her cat. It's just an effing floor (material resource - no big deal).
Sorry, that incident was still fresh in my mind from a day or two ago.
Anyway, if I could be a yielding/compliant type, I wouldn't care so much about my interests, and this has always held me back. The reason why I can't become super-rich is because I can't force myself to care about things that I don't care about (interests). If only I could, I'd be able to press the magic button to acquire infinite wealth!
For example, I have no interest in, say, producing horrible useless garbage and getting rich by selling it. But other people have no qualms about becoming multimillionaires by selling tons and tons of awful garbage that they themselves cannot possibly be all that interested in. You do whatever the marketplace demands. If the marketplace is willing to buy horrible garbage, then sell them tons and tons of it, and get rich! You don't HAVE to be interested in producing, I dunno, something boring. You know, cardboard boxes or something. Somebody somewhere is a carboard-box-making millionaire, because they don't care about the fact that making cardboard boxes isn't interesting. Who cares about my interests, I'll spend all my time doing something that's really boring, and learning about the cardboard box manufacturing industry, because that's where the money is! That's just an example. This happens to me almost no matter what industry I try to imagine myself going into. It's always some sort of conflict of interests for me.
I was starting to make this into a blog, but then decided maybe it was postable on the forum, so I won't go on and on forever. I'm just saying, for some reason, the obstinate/compliant (or yielding, or whatever) dichotomy really does seem to exist, and I've seen it in all the types that they say it's in. Compliant types will say 'How dare you lay a finger on my personal belongings,' but yet they don't mind learning about some topic which, originally, was boring to them, but somebody else demands it, and they can become skillful at producing products in the marketplace that they themselves don't necessarily like or want, because other people want them.
My feelings about this are a sort of envy and disgust. It's like 'selling out.' You didn't hold on to the things that mattered to you, forever and ever from the moment you were born? You changed your interests and went along with someone else's interests? But what about what you originally wanted? I view that as 'selling out,' betraying something you originally believed in, but it's not that simple. I just can't imagine interests being something negotiable, and yet, I wish I could - I'd be able to get a job ANYWHERE doing things I don't like to do, and I could start my own business doing something I hate, selling something I hate, producing things that are boring and garbage - but hey, I'd be rich!
('Not being rich' is an issue for me right now, and I am job hunting.)
But I totally get the idea of interests being sacred and untouchable, not something you can negotiate. If I'm a cartoonist, but I'm not interested in drawing bears, then I find it extremely difficult to force myself to draw cartoon bears for somebody just because somebody else liked it (this actually happened to me when I was a teenager - a girl in my school asked if I could draw some bears in a little scenario for her, and I tried, but I wasn't happy with it). If I was getting paid to draw bears, when I didn't particularly enjoy drawing bears (I was a dogs-and-dragons-and-weirdly-dressed-ladies type of cartoonist, apparently), I would have felt constantly miserable and would have been secretly waiting for the day when I could draw whatever I wanted to draw again (holding on to original interests over time).