This is from Lenore Thompson’s book, from the INJ description. It’s long- the parts I thought were relevant are bolded- I kind of had to post all of it to put the bolded statements in context.
Developing Extraverted Judgment
When INJs are defending themselves against unconscious Sensate motives, they start out by resisting others’ conceptual boundaries. Gradually, however, their inferior Extraversion becomes apparent. The more their behaviors are colored by unconscious Sensate aims, the more they’re aware of themselves as different from others. Such types want people to see them as special, but they often feel insecure and unappreciated.
Their unconscious Sensate impulses fill them with a yearning for credit and recognition, but they may be increasingly critical of their opportunities to make a contribution or [*4*] so dissatisfied with their efforts that they don’t share them with others. This is generally the point at which the type’s tertiary function, Introverted Thinking or Introverted Feeling, steps in.
As discussed in other chapters, our tertiary function is helpful and enriching when our secondary function is well developed. It provides an outlet for the ‘other side’ of our personality. For example, it prompts INJs to recognize that truth can be appropriated experientially as well as conceptually as a way of being, one that they feel in their senses and their bones.
As a last-ditch defense against unconscious Sensate impulses, however, [*1*] Introverted Judgment simply convinces INJs that they have no need to establish an investment in their outer situation. The real truth is the complicated inner stuff that can’t be put into words because it’s connected to everything else that matters to them.
The more INJs try to protect their inner world, the more they lose the Intuitive perspective they’re trying to maintain. They lose their capacity to shift perspectives. They have the sense that the truth is a core experience, archetypal, impossible to express in a way that captures its full significance. Their vision becomes a psychological castle and they stand in the highest parapet, warning people that they aren’t worthy to come in.
It should be emphasized that INJs who feel like this aren’t hiding from the outer world. If anything, unconscious Sensate impulses are generating undue interest in how they look to others. The problem is the type’s inability to deliver what’s gestating inside. It’s too large, too unformed; it won’t survive in the world if it’s cut off from the INJ’s Intuitive nourishment. The only way they know how to witness to it is to point out the poverty of others’ positions, showing how they fall short of understanding. Such types may become so adept at this that people see them as oracles and prophets. But they don’t really have a positive vision of their own.
When INJs develop Extraverted Judgment and train it on themselves, [*5*] they begin to see life differently. They recognize their need to be understood, to make genuine connection with others, to be a contributing part of something outside themselves. This recognition short circuits the INJ’s focus on conceptual boundaries. Such types try to reach people instead, to formulate their ideas in light of what others believe and think and cherish. In the process, they find a way to bring their insights into the larger community.
INJs don’t find it easy to make this effort. But developing secondary skills is always difficult; it forces compromises we don’t want to make. For INTJs, saying things in a way that people can support and accept feels like selling out or watering down something important. [*2*] For INFJs, it feels like being inauthentic and hypocritical. Extreme types may even believe they still need to figure out who they are and shouldn’t be influenced by others’ expectations.
The irony is that INJs figure out who they are by way of Extraverted Judgment. [*3*] It’s the attempt to give their insights outward form that ultimately shapes their social identity. Unless INJs find a way to honor their Intuitions in the public arena, they won’t recognize themselves in the feedback they get from others. Even if they’ve been highly successful in their outward pursuits or spent many happy hours in solitary pastimes, they’re likely to feel unfulfilled.
So anyway, Skyward, I think that Ni feels like a pile of runny pudding (Thompson says ‘unformed’) when it’s starving for outside information. I think what Thompson is explaining here is that we (INJs) get so used to turning inward for ‘new’ information- because using innie judgment on innie perception feels like the truest, most authentic means of processing information- that we forget the importance of occasionally importing outside information relating to the outside world. (edit: ) And by 'importing outside information', because it's Fe, I guess that means incorporating some social expectations into my own judgment. I think(?)
[*1*] We (or at least it’s true for me) get addicted to the authenticity of it, and build up reservations about importing outside information that might corrupt everything we put so much thought into building. Ni starts to feel like runny pudding because we’ve depleted its resources. It’s starving for outside information. Ti/Fi has been giving it the same ol’ same old, and it’s starving for some new ingredients to throw in the pot.
[*2*] It’s like Ti/Fi is arguing Ni doesn’t need external ingredients to create ‘new’ information, it just needs to figure out the perfect combination of existing ingredients- and what’s more, Ti/Fi is afraid that Fe is gonna throw something in to sour the whole batch.
[*3*] But actually, Ti/Fi is only able to create ‘new’ information of its own by allowing Extraverted Judgment to contribute.
The situation is worse when even being 'social' doesn't do anything, all that happens is that I'm an amoeba in the social circle and spit out random connections my Ni makes from the conversation - or out of it. The non sequiturs get very outlandish.
I’m just gonna throw this out there: maybe it doesn’t feel like it’s helping because
[*4*] it feels like Fe is broken or something. I suggest this because I think I can relate to your statement, and I sometimes leave social situations myself feeling like I hadn’t communicated a shred of the meaning I’d intended to express, like every word fell on deaf ears. If communication doesn’t actually connect me somehow to other people, it feels like my Fe is broken. And I totally see myself having the reaction Thompson describes sometimes
[*4*] - I get so frustrated that I end up telling myself I don’t need Fe to work anyway- ignoring the unconscious Sensate impulses, for which they invariably come back and bite me in the ass (I call this the Se bitch-slap).
This way of looking at developing Fe helped me (a thread about “cultivating shallowness”). It may feel heinous, because of
[*2*], but the heinous feeling subsides because
[*5*] sooner or later it *does* somehow bring in more outside information for Ni/Ti/Fi to gobble up (congealing the runny pudding consistency).
The situation is both fascinating in the information I can get, and annoying because of how socially crippling it is.
Yeah. I mean it is, of course, also completely possible that I’ve entirely missed the mark here (which would be an example of *me* throwing out a non sequitur, another day in the life of Z). But I *think* I understood your op. If not: sorry for this ridiculously, ridiculously long post.