one more thing which caught my attention:
this is a misunderstanding i just have to clarify: what you perceive as disingenuous to one's "true emotions", is actually an inner conflict between multiply true emotions.
this is because for the Fe, their really is an emotional desire on it's own sake, it is a genuine desire - someone might genuinely desire to not have conflicts or drama, someone might genuinely be conflicted between the need to say what they think and fearing it would hurt someone, someone might truly feel guilty for disturbing a positive social dynamic. Fe emotions & desires are genuine and they feel just as real regardless if you can relate to them or not, and whether someone choosing them over other emotions or chooses the opposite or tries to find a middle path between, it is their resolution for their own inner conflicts between multiply genuine emotions.
i understand what you are saying. but i also take multiple opinions in consideration. what i like is to know what everyone's true feelings are, so we can arrive to a compromise. and the feeling i have and that frustrates me is that Fe users are not interested in hearing what everyone's personal feelings are, it's as if they don't consider the depth of feeling, they just brush it right off. and this is what sometimes offends me about Fe, when feelings are just not considered.
I'll give you an example. this one time, i had arranged with two friends of mine (lesbian couple) to go to a natural reservation outside of the city. we were taking their car, so i went to meet them at their house. when i arrived, my ENFJ friend was happy to see me, and arranging everything. but i sensed that she was being a bit bitchy to her INFP girlfriend. and when i was alone with the INFP friend, i realised that she wasn't happy. so the ENFJ friend had put on a show of happiness, when really things weren't alright. and i felt partially guilty, because i'd also replied in a happy tone, without knowing that the room wasn't full of happy feelings.
now, when someone is not happy or in pain, i feel their feeling. that's where my empathy comes from. so immediately i talked in private to my INFP friend: "hey, what's up, you're not ok?" - although, at the same time, i also felt like i shouldn't dig a lot, because it might be a private issue between the couple. but it pained me to see someone so sad and bottled up with emotions that were not being addressed at all.
so, already i didn't feel well. when we got to the car, my silent INFP friend finally talked. she said she was so very sorry for the situation (she trully was so embarrassed) but she couldn't pretend everything was alright, and she wasn't feeling in the right mood, and me and the ENFJ friend should go alone, without her, because she just ruins everything and she's worthless blah blah. i said right away: "sure, but we don't need to go at all, don't worry, it's not your fault, if we're not all in the mood, there's no point in going, we can do it another time
". this is my way of solving things.
i was surprised by the reaction of my ENFJ friend, totally different. she said to her girlfriend: "oh shut up, get in the car and let's drive. it seems like i'm the only adult here, the only one who takes care of things". so both me and the INFP got in the car, and i felt like a girl who'd just received a command by a parental figure. i also felt awful for my INFP friend, and i tried the whole trip to acknowledge her feelings (by supporting her when she was talking, etc).
but when we arrived to the destination, my INFP friend was happy. she was in the nature and she was happy. and i was surprised again, because i saw how one way of solving issues that is so different to mine, can also work out. but, at the same time, it really got me this Fe way of solving issues, that is about ignoring the feelings that are not useful to you, and i wondered if my friend was ok or just hiding her feelings, still.
ethical declarations: "no! that's just wrong!"
when you hear an Fi-user say that, please add the imaginary extension line in your head "in my opinion/for me". i often forget to say it. but it's what i mean. when i'm expressing feelings or opinions, i
always mean it in my own personal experience, i never assume that everyone should feel like i do.
wishes: "but i don't want too!"
i have a bit more difficulty understanding what you mean here. if i say i don't want to do something, it means i individually won't do it, but of course you are free to do it yourself. maybe you mean i should consider that you want me to go with you. but if i notice that this is important to you, i will. saying "but i don't want to" might be an opening line: i tell you i don't want to do it, so your answers might be 1) "ok, i'll go alone" or 2) "but please come it's important to me". if you say 2, i'll probably join (because i feel your Fi and i feel empathy). situations like death of family, friend just broke up, etc, if i sense that my presence will be important for the people there, i will definitely go. if i sense that my presence is required "as a social nicety" or for "social etiquette", i won't.