I do have a hard time. Sometimes, though, I do prefer explaining/talking face to face rather than through writing because it's a more of an in the moment "stream" of words and an idea will eventually formulate into something coherent. Honestly, either way, it's typically difficult for me to force any expression. The words have to hit me. Does that make sense?
I have noticed. Sometimes you feel that your deep thoughts and feelings about a particular subject have to warp into reality through a wormhole in order to be articulated into human data that you just give up and roll your eyes.
You do have a tendency to live in the future (Ni), rather than focus on the present moment. Ni is like a laser-beam that pinpoints towards future possibilities and probable events as they unfold in the future. Clumsiness coupled with low Se is just unevitable since, most of the times, your thoughts seem to sprint ahead of the present moment. Hell, that clumsiness is part of your charm, one should wonder why it didn't play a role yet in a Boy Meets Girl scenario. Books, library, accident, fated meeting and stuff.
Your eyes are deep. Your gaze stares into what's to come more than into what
is, add that to your Fe, and you have oceans and whores jealous of you because you're deeper than they are. In fact, those ocular globes convey many of your thoughts, that are crystal clear to those who're highly intuitive with a condiment of empathy and curiosity, that you don't need to say more.
"Lying is not that bad because ..hum... FUUUU... people think I'm crazy.... Why would you lie to me? Pff, I don't know... It's... It's... I don't know."
Yes. Many people will think you're crazy, but that stems from your acceptance of the other, even if they lie. You know first hand that lying is fundamentally and ethically useless, and if anything, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth will make you more respected for owning who you are, and accepting who you are no matter what. You might catch people lying, but you won't judge them for that, because it didn't harm you, because you know that nothing can harm you unless you allow it to. You wonder why people take it so personally and feel entitled to the truth, always, spreading mayhem and orchestrating Othello dramatic scenes because someone didn't disclose a certain piece of information. You'd think, is it really necessary? Is it primordial for harmony? Aren't your reactions what might lead to altercations and discord instead of just letting something that doesn't concern you in the first place slide?
You seek harmony and amity, and one has to go to hazardous extremes in order to incite a reaction from you, which will more likely be out of indignation and disappointment. You have a strong moral code of your own, and not anyone has the ability to fathom its depth. You also think that it is those convictions and ethical foundations that contributed in the shaping of your sang-froid. People, don't care about the way we think? Who cares. We do good by people, we do right by them, and we don't really need their validation. We're self-righteous Ni bastards and we're cool with that.
"Issues of morality and ethics- YES!"
I know. It's a recurrent issue, isn't it? If only people could see it from the same spot you see it. **sigh**
In the end,
we might watch the same thing, but we might not see the same thing.
The things I see, the things I hear, and the things I feel, and the things I think, all pinpoint to the same conclusion my spotless intuition lead to at first.
Don't mind the words that can't follow with your mellow stream of thoughts and emotions. You have many things to make up for it.