Hello NFPs and other Fi containing folks!
Can you describe a few things for me?
I hope so.
1 how do you handle that the world doesn't meet you internal ideals?
Not usually well.
What makes thisokay for you and doesn't leave you angstful?
Most of my life is about work. I realize that I took up crusades at each job. Things were one way, and they should be a different way. I come to realize that this is about me and my perfectionism, and not necessarily about things externally. It is about me "needing" to have a crusade, and some sort of drama against an antagonist or antagonists. This drama is characteristic of my entire life history. It's like a passion play.
When I understand, then it gets better. I try to understand myself.
2 are you okay with others not fOlliwing some of your smaller values?
Yes...if it is small.
3 what causes you to externalize a value offense to another? Not as in venting to a friend but rather confronting the other person when they have crossed a value? What does this externalization look like?
Fortunately or unfortunately I'm a supervisor and I have to confront people. Actually I should make a thread about this. Acting of my natural self, I may not say anything, but I'm basically required to say things.
I have a worker now, and he works about like sloths. He doesn't understand that we are "at war", and everything is pressed, and there is enormous pressure. It's like he doesn't care.
So we have a task to clean vegetation off a fence, which is somewhat trivial to me, but important to the owner. I've had talks with the dude about this, and other things.
Then I chose the most difficult section of fence I could find, and I removed what I could in 30 minutes. Then I marked off three hours of fence. I'm double his age. I used hand pruners only and I'm getting arthritis.
In about 90 minutes he cleaned 40 minutes worth of fence. In some cases, he does four times as slow as me.
You'd think with the economy there would be a line of people 100 people long waiting for jobs, but I live in rural area where I just can replace someone every day. Most quit within the first week anyway.
Outside of my efforts to reform this individual, I have many other crusades and wars.
I restructured things at work so that I took over jobs other people were doing badly, and gave them jobs that frustrated me. We traded duties.
Thus, I have strong Te sometimes, but things are not going very well. After things settle down in a few weeks, I may take extended time off from work. It's really been a rough year. I hope my job and livelihood survive.
4what percentage of the time do you externalize values verses hold your sense of discord internally?
Probably 20 to 80. Actually it has to bug me for a while.
Let's say it is probably naturally 20 to 80, but at work I've been forced by corporate culture and the nature of my position to address things sooner.
5 do you hold different people tTO different expectations ? Is a sliding scale of forgiveness ?
Yes. I once heard forgiveness described as a bank account. Some people never intend to hurt me, or if they do, it's minor. Others I need to have a bunch saved up if I go talk to them. Everyone is different.