OK, I've got a question *raises hand* So you've got this quiet, mysterious person. How does the person turn it up to get noticed? Look at me! I'm quiet and mysterious...
It's an interesting idea. How to come across as quiet and mysterious. There isn't anything in the other person that makes them mysterious. At least not initially, something in the way you perceive them does that.
The idea that you could be quiet and mysterious just by being yourself seems a little hit and miss. A smile would work I guess, what about doing something out of context?
Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm just a curious little monkey.
And who says your not noticed wolfy?!
well it's not something one should TRY to do...i think enfps in particular are extremely nonjudgmental...and have a strong appreciation for individuality...so there's something about seeing someone who seems interesting or different in a crowded room full of other people who don't get them.
but...i'm also drawn to intelligence, humor and charm and love an outgoing engaging personality...so i think what i really notice is just that person that stands out.
It's an interesting idea. How to come across as quiet and mysterious. There isn't anything in the other person that makes them mysterious. At least not initially, something in the way you perceive them does that.
The idea that you could be quiet and mysterious just by being yourself seems a little hit and miss. A smile would work I guess, what about doing something out of context?
Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I'm just a curious little monkey.
Agreed with what others said, just being yourself is you're best bet at getting an ENFPs attention. Just don't expect the ENFP to always be the initiator though.
Mysterious only really means "not revealing", so I don't think it's something you couldn't pull off if you wanted. Same for quiet. You're an IFP, so I think you're very well qualified to be regarded as quiet and mysterious by simply being yourself, in a way.
And to the OP...I think INTJs might be a mystery to themselves even (unlike FPs), and not just to others.
In MBTI terms, I wouldn't say I have a preference for extroversion or introversion. I think I tend to notice people who I don't regard as shallow. Most chatty people tend to talk about shallow things but not all. And quiet people aren't any more deep than shallow, in most cases, so it's really not a factor. No matter how quiet/chatty they are, I tend to notice people who talk about interesting and/or deeper stuff.
well it's not something one should TRY to do...i think enfps in particular are extremely nonjudgmental...and have a strong appreciation for individuality...so there's something about seeing someone who seems interesting or different in a crowded room full of other people who don't get them.
but...i'm also drawn to intelligence, humor and charm and love an outgoing engaging personality...so i think what i really notice is just that person that stands out.
Precisely what draws me towards them in the first place, the crowd ignores them, talks over them, and you just know they have so much to say if only they were relaxed enough.
I love the oddball in the group, probably because I see myself reflected when I look at them.
Yup, this one too, it's all about the way they stand out.
I mean you can have the silent, but arrogant type, who is only quiet because they think everyone is beneath them, there isn't anything interesting to me about that type, so as quiet as they seem it's not drawing me in, their demeanour gives them away.
It's that special something.
Precisely what draws me towards them in the first place, the crowd ignores them, talks over them, and you just know they have so much to say if only they were relaxed enough.
I love the oddball in the group, probably because I see myself reflected when I look at them.
Yup, this one too, it's all about the way they stand out.
I mean you can have the silent, but arrogant type, who is only quiet because they think everyone is beneath them, there isn't anything interesting to me about that type, so as quiet as they seem it's not drawing me in, their demeanour gives them away.
It's that special something.
Are ENFP's usually drawn to less extroverted types? Will they be drawn to that quiet and mysterious person, rather than the one socializing and chatting it up with the crowds?
I find myself being excessively extroverted (at least for an INTJ) in a lot of social situations. I guess I've conditioned myself to do so, since it's what's usually socially expected. Sometimes it's exhausting, sometimes it can be fun. Depending on who I'm socializing with. SO....
Lets say an ENFP was around, and I was not acting like my typical reserved and aloof INTJ self, and was extroverting way more than usual in a very non-INTJ manner, would he notice me at all? Are ENFP's usually drawn to less extroverted types? Will they be drawn to that quiet and mysterious person, rather than the one socializing and chatting it up with the crowds?
Sometimes I feel like I act sort of ENFP-ish and can be really silly in social situations...maybe because ENFP's have all the social qualities that I desire.
I think if it wasn't for work, I would have never met this male ENFP that I know now. I'm very much an INTJ at work...very quiet and private, and super concentrated on work at all times. I never even noticed he existed and he sat in the same row! Somehow he noticed me and persisted in getting to know me.
I guess I just wonder if I'm hurting my chances of being approached by ENFP's by appearing to be a type that I'm not. I'm just learning how much I'm drawn to this type and would love to meet more.
Damn you ENFP's
I find myself being excessively extroverted (at least for an INTJ) in a lot of social situations. I guess I've conditioned myself to do so, since it's what's usually socially expected. Sometimes it's exhausting, sometimes it can be fun. Depending on who I'm socializing with. SO....
Lets say an ENFP was around, and I was not acting like my typical reserved and aloof INTJ self, and was extroverting way more than usual in a very non-INTJ manner, would he notice me at all? Are ENFP's usually drawn to less extroverted types? Will they be drawn to that quiet and mysterious person, rather than the one socializing and chatting it up with the crowds?
Sometimes I feel like I act sort of ENFP-ish and can be really silly in social situations...maybe because ENFP's have all the social qualities that I desire.
I think if it wasn't for work, I would have never met this male ENFP that I know now. I'm very much an INTJ at work...very quiet and private, and super concentrated on work at all times. I never even noticed he existed and he sat in the same row! Somehow he noticed me and persisted in getting to know me.
I guess I just wonder if I'm hurting my chances of being approached by ENFP's by appearing to be a type that I'm not. I'm just learning how much I'm drawn to this type and would love to meet more.
Damn you ENFP's
^^^yeah, act how you want. You will probably still end up making INTJ-style quips and comments
Are you like my clone or something? I agree with what lamp says, though, as silly and E as we think we are being, there is still a sort of dissonance and...INTJ crazy, somewhat rocky and edged relationship with expression and the exterior that keeps peaking through. I've definitely left the whole "strong quiet stare in the distance while the others are buzzing around" thing behind. I still do it from time to time, but I pride myself in my ability to understand, adapt and improve and I have a much better time myself now that I have more ways to relate to people.
I refuse to play the mysterious pining person that needs rescuing from an E in social situations (help or just talking /= rescuing). One of the things that I also find very taxing is introverts you have to baby in social situations...you almost have to take responsibility for keeping them company and make sure they're not alone and unhappy (Fi won't let me dump them - IF(J)s tend to have that going on). Maybe it's my independent nature, but I've always resisted that. I have learned to hold my own in social situations (in my own way) and I'm proud of it. Besides, we do have a silly side - nothing wrong with letting it show from time to time...generally, it'll be so weird that it'll still be mysterious.
I do have the reverse from you in that I become more Te (more ENTJ-ish) in work and school environments (I am very vocal in those environments, but also very unsmooth) and more N outside of them.
You come off as pretty brazen. While this is probably not 'best', it can certainly work to your advantage and is a hell of a lot better than being quiet. you probably arent brazenI can't imagine dating someone more socially awkward than myself.