Nighthawk
New member
- Joined
- May 23, 2007
- Messages
- 423
- MBTI Type
- INTP
How strange - I found it... strangely amusing! I always felt like it was a sorta game of chance, when I did something I knew was forbidden or would get me a beating, I did it in the full knowledge, and if I got caught, you know, it's a fair cop, and I'd take it with a weird kinda combination of like, yeah, fucker, this hurts! and at the same time, just laughing inwardly at the situation, like fair enough, you got me this time, but you still don't know about the other stuff I did, and there's more to come!
I even remember some of the beatings fondly and still laugh to myself when I think of them, the reasons often are funny, and I hold no resentment at all. I'm glad they did beat me, it taught me about boundaries and I don't think any other way would've been effective with me at the time, I was just too oblivious to others and their feelings and stuff, for any kind of soft approach to work on me, I'd have just taken them for saps and played them even harder, if the threat of a beating hadn't been there.
Wow, that's interesting. I wonder why it was so different for me. Perhaps because I wasn't trying to break any rules but still got a beating for asking why I needed to do something.
Later in my adolescence I did consider some of them from my mother funny, as she really didn't have the strength to cause much pain. I was still fearful of a backhand or closed fist punch from my father though.