michL87
New member
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2009
- Messages
- 41
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 4w3
One of my close friends is clearly an ISFJ. She is strong in each of the individual letters. However, an ISFJ is supposed to have Fe as their secondary function, and she doesn't have that at all. I've tried thinking of other types she could be, but she's clearly an ISFJ.
Does anyone have any ideas of why an ISFJ can lack Fe as much as my friend does? If anything I would say that her feeling side is Fi, but she's an extreme J -- there's no way that girl could be a P.
I would love to hear your opinions
EDIT:
She is ridiculously scheduled. We have a class together and I looked over at her planner. I nearly went into shock when looking at it -- it was organized, highlighted, coded, etc. I just wondered who carried around so many pens/highlighters to make their schedule as organized as that! Apparently she does. She always gets her homework done when she says she's going to. (Meanwhile, I say I'm going to do homework and it doesn't get done until last minute.) She's also president of her sorority, and does everything according to the rules. She's a huge fan of the traditions of the sorority (something I didn't get very into.)
She's also not outwardly rigid and critical. Her feelings get hurt so easily -- I have to watch everything I say around to to make sure not to say something inadvertently offensive, and even when she's wrong about something she talks about, I have to find something good to say to boost her ego so she doesn't get hurt. Like when someone criticizes what she's doing as president of the sorority, I can't say that they make a good point (even if they do.) Instead, I find a good quality about her -- such as her organization -- and have her look at the positive aspects of herself so she doesn't get depressed over the criticisms of others.
This sounds very like her. She grew up in a difficult environment, with no one around to boost her self-esteem. She's dated controlling/possibly abusive guys in college. She only broke up with the first one after she was positive that she had someone to replace him -- since she always needs to be in a relationship. And the one she replaced him with was mentally abusive and ended up cheating on her a year later. Of course she had another boyfriend soon after that.
She believes that "true friends are the ones who care enough to see the walls and break them down" -- or something to that nature.
She never really cares about what her friends are going through or about helping them deal with their problems. It's always about her and her problems -- if she's even willing to talk about them. Otherwise, she just likes talking about other people, shopping, or stuff to do with the sorority.
Does anyone have any ideas of why an ISFJ can lack Fe as much as my friend does? If anything I would say that her feeling side is Fi, but she's an extreme J -- there's no way that girl could be a P.
I would love to hear your opinions
EDIT:
She could be a very polite ISTJ or a very opinionated ISFP.
Could you please describe her, and describe why you think she's an ISFJ? If it seems more like she has Fi and you definitely think she's a feeler, she very well may be an ISFP. Fi can be rigid and critical when it comes to it's deeply felt core values, which might seem J to some people in certain circumstances. I mean, is she scheduled? Is she a planner? Is she methodical? What is it about her that makes you certain she's a J, or even an F?
She is ridiculously scheduled. We have a class together and I looked over at her planner. I nearly went into shock when looking at it -- it was organized, highlighted, coded, etc. I just wondered who carried around so many pens/highlighters to make their schedule as organized as that! Apparently she does. She always gets her homework done when she says she's going to. (Meanwhile, I say I'm going to do homework and it doesn't get done until last minute.) She's also president of her sorority, and does everything according to the rules. She's a huge fan of the traditions of the sorority (something I didn't get very into.)
She's also not outwardly rigid and critical. Her feelings get hurt so easily -- I have to watch everything I say around to to make sure not to say something inadvertently offensive, and even when she's wrong about something she talks about, I have to find something good to say to boost her ego so she doesn't get hurt. Like when someone criticizes what she's doing as president of the sorority, I can't say that they make a good point (even if they do.) Instead, I find a good quality about her -- such as her organization -- and have her look at the positive aspects of herself so she doesn't get depressed over the criticisms of others.
I would say either she's ISTJ like others have mentioned, or she's really introverted and has low self esteem or afraid of being 'used'/stepped on, so she's walling herself off and becoming more 'cold' to protect herself. In cognitive function terms, bypassing/turning off the Fe, so to speak, and going straight to a more detached, self-protective level that could turn her into more of a cynic.
This sounds very like her. She grew up in a difficult environment, with no one around to boost her self-esteem. She's dated controlling/possibly abusive guys in college. She only broke up with the first one after she was positive that she had someone to replace him -- since she always needs to be in a relationship. And the one she replaced him with was mentally abusive and ended up cheating on her a year later. Of course she had another boyfriend soon after that.
She believes that "true friends are the ones who care enough to see the walls and break them down" -- or something to that nature.
She never really cares about what her friends are going through or about helping them deal with their problems. It's always about her and her problems -- if she's even willing to talk about them. Otherwise, she just likes talking about other people, shopping, or stuff to do with the sorority.
Last edited: