phthalocyanine
#005645
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2009
- Messages
- 679
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 9w1
- Instinctual Variant
- sx
True; but in balance, this tendency is not detrimental. That said, I have found this a challenge area for me. But swing this over to the other extreme, where one is not taking the feelings and needs of others into account, I think one is committing a deeper sin to the world. Sure, YOU are satisfied, but at what cost to those around you?
i didn't say it was generally a detriment, or even that it applied to all 9's.
if you go back and read the posts where the quotes came from you'll see that my post you were responding to was in a more personal, rather than general context.
however, in response: if a person chooses the personally easiest route in a given situation, whether it is self-conscious or other-conscious in nature, it is ultimately self-serving.
i suppose if the line of thinking is 'the end is more important than the means', then the other-conscious form of self-serving is probably better because other folks get something out of the deal too..but that doesn't negate the self-serving aspect of it.
'balance' to me means striving for equal parts self-serving and other-serving, though. of course one extreme or the other ultimately ends in suffering..
believe it or not, even as a 4 , i have struggled with self-serving for a long time (i am a 'social' variant 4), and i have come to that conclusion. it may not always feel right to choose to be self-serving, but i find that when i do so when it is called for i feel much healthier.
True friends are rare indeed, and there are very, very few people indeed who I even allow to scan my inner self. If I sense you are trying to take a read on me, I'll block such probings. One might find that rather ironic for someone who desires deeper friendships, but I need to protect myself against those who seek to exploit rather than understand. Because sadly, those people exist.
the reasoning makes sense, but it certainly doesn't make things any easier on those of us who aren't out to exploit anyone..or back away from them.
say what you will about 4s, but one problem this type doesn't seem to have is confronting the dark side of things. our introspective self-absorption can become an asset (provided the 4 is healthy/mature ) when it comes to understanding the ways we people can work against ourselves, psychologically and otherwise.. i've gotten some earnest perspective from a 4