substitute
New member
- Joined
- May 27, 2007
- Messages
- 4,601
- MBTI Type
- ENTP
I had a great conversation earlier with my INFJ friend Kate (giving false name here to avoid cumbersome linguistic issues later) about how we could, when stressed, use our inferior functions to get ourselves back on track, rather than letting them control us and make idiots of ourselves.
It started because we realised that our dominants and inferiors are sorta the same but not - she has Ni/Se while I have Ne/Si. We thought about how this manifests in our behaviour, and realised that when she gets stressed, she pigs out or gets drunk or gets an urge to do something stupid just to prove she can be spontaneous. Meanwhile I tend to run around panicking, looking for some authority to tell me what to do, to counsel me and tell me the proper procedure so I can feel safe in following it. Then later, when we've calmed down, she feels stupid and guilty for her irresponsible and self-destructive behaviour, and I feel strangled by the routines, schedules and rules that I imposed on myself (or allowed others to impose on me).
Then we talked about how we could use these for positive results rather than the negative ones, if we decided to grasp onto the inferior function and the urges it creates in us, and use it, rather than let it use us.
I've recently realised that if I get stressed, it's usually because my Ne is so dominant that it's led me too far and too fast even for me to keep up with, my Ti has thrown its hands in the air and said "No way mate, not even I can analyse what you've got yourself into now - you lost me about where the cheese knife got connected to the cholostomy bag!"
And that's when Si starts rearing its ugly head (not saying Si is ugly, just when I use it!). But what I can do instead of looking for an authority and rules, to try to put a choke chain on my Ne, is to just sit down and think about and 'plug myself in' to what's eternal, what's good and worth keeping, worth doing, having etc, what works, what's real and stood the test of time, and then use this to direct my Ne, rather than subdue it. Not only that, but it gives me a route into Feeling, and helps me to realise what I value.
Similarly, Kate realised that a lot of her stress comes from overactive Ni, making her paranoid, distrustful, suspicious and her Fe throws its hands up and says "I can't tell people my problem and ask for help, cos Ni won't let me, it has its foot on my throat and keeps telling me I can't give people ammunition against me and that they don't really care anyway!"
She realised that, rather than letting Se control her and send her off to the liquor store and weed dealer, she could use it to plug herself into reality and look around her, use her senses to look for actual evidence, to see if there really is any reason for this paranoia, any proof or evidence beyond her own intuition, of these awful conspiracies and stuff that she fears. And using Se to critically examine her surroundings has also given her a new route into Thinking.
So I just thought I'd share that, and see if any other ENTP's or INFJ's can relate or add to any of that, and also if other types can think of how this process might work for them.
It started because we realised that our dominants and inferiors are sorta the same but not - she has Ni/Se while I have Ne/Si. We thought about how this manifests in our behaviour, and realised that when she gets stressed, she pigs out or gets drunk or gets an urge to do something stupid just to prove she can be spontaneous. Meanwhile I tend to run around panicking, looking for some authority to tell me what to do, to counsel me and tell me the proper procedure so I can feel safe in following it. Then later, when we've calmed down, she feels stupid and guilty for her irresponsible and self-destructive behaviour, and I feel strangled by the routines, schedules and rules that I imposed on myself (or allowed others to impose on me).
Then we talked about how we could use these for positive results rather than the negative ones, if we decided to grasp onto the inferior function and the urges it creates in us, and use it, rather than let it use us.
I've recently realised that if I get stressed, it's usually because my Ne is so dominant that it's led me too far and too fast even for me to keep up with, my Ti has thrown its hands in the air and said "No way mate, not even I can analyse what you've got yourself into now - you lost me about where the cheese knife got connected to the cholostomy bag!"
And that's when Si starts rearing its ugly head (not saying Si is ugly, just when I use it!). But what I can do instead of looking for an authority and rules, to try to put a choke chain on my Ne, is to just sit down and think about and 'plug myself in' to what's eternal, what's good and worth keeping, worth doing, having etc, what works, what's real and stood the test of time, and then use this to direct my Ne, rather than subdue it. Not only that, but it gives me a route into Feeling, and helps me to realise what I value.
Similarly, Kate realised that a lot of her stress comes from overactive Ni, making her paranoid, distrustful, suspicious and her Fe throws its hands up and says "I can't tell people my problem and ask for help, cos Ni won't let me, it has its foot on my throat and keeps telling me I can't give people ammunition against me and that they don't really care anyway!"
She realised that, rather than letting Se control her and send her off to the liquor store and weed dealer, she could use it to plug herself into reality and look around her, use her senses to look for actual evidence, to see if there really is any reason for this paranoia, any proof or evidence beyond her own intuition, of these awful conspiracies and stuff that she fears. And using Se to critically examine her surroundings has also given her a new route into Thinking.
So I just thought I'd share that, and see if any other ENTP's or INFJ's can relate or add to any of that, and also if other types can think of how this process might work for them.