Venus Rose
New member
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2016
- Messages
- 324
- MBTI Type
- INFP
- Enneagram
- 4w5
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/so
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I have never considered myself an envious person, but I know that your worst fears can be so unconscious you do not even know they exist. I know that social fours are said to be rather ashamed of their anger and aggression which perhaps makes them less likely to be in touch with envy? I wonder how sexual and self-pres fours experience this.
But he painted me this thankless, worthless girl who needs to embody these qualities to be of any worth. I was never worth anything to him. And he isn't the first to tell me I am worthless either (not directly).
I do think envy is inconsistent with originality, so I always approach this E4 envy business with a little head-tilt. For most things I'm particularly not envious because most regular stuff people work to achieve is not that important to me, but I still appreciate it. Im happy for people to go on vacation to Europe, buy a big house or car, graduate, etc.
I only have one area of envy and that is physical appearance, but I have deficits in that area because I've mostly had relationships with men who shot me down a lot, so I feel that has to be something wrong with my face and body, so I view the world through that lens. If I looked like *that* then I wouldn't be rejected for intimacy. It permeates my brain from the conscious through the subconscious, so it's difficult to get rid of it. Also, acceptance of any sort through appearance is by nature less about originality because you have to have at least two people viewing it through the same lens.
Mostly I want to be different from other people. I do it quietly, so I'm extremely introverted about it, but there is no mistaking that I do not want to fall into the norm at all. I don't want to clamor for the same prizes.
What's Obvious; what's not | Type 4 - The Enneagram in BusinessWhen a Type 4 has a biased emotional dynamic, they experience an Emotional Reactivity (or Passion) called Envy. In Envy, the Four expends emotional energy on desiring what others have which they do not. They become depressed over what they wish for but either do not deserve or deserve but cannot have. Their feelings of frustration and jealousy become augmented.
When a Type 4 restores their emotional dynamic, they experience a Higher Emotional Capacity (or Virtue) called Equanimity. In Equanimity, the Four is able to live in harmony with the present by feeling satisfied and fulfilled with having just enough. The Four feels balance, as nothing of substance is missing. As a result, no emotion is dominant and the Four can experience equilibrium with the external circumstance.
Type 4 - Romantic — THE ENNEAGRAM AT WORKLower emotional habit: Envy or melancholy arising from the experience of disappointment or deficiency
Hudson's 27 Type ProfilesThe SX4: the passion of envy in the SX zones. Envy can be a bit complex, so I also use the term hypersensitivity for 4s in relation to instinct. "I am deeply affected by attraction and the lack thereof."
Enneagram Type 4 — The Enneagram GroupThe emotional drive of type 4 is called envy and refers to the sense that what is valued and needed is outside of yourself and unavailable. Envy can feel like a longing or an intense craving for whatever will make you feel happy or whole – a different circumstance, job or relationship. In Enneagram language, envy is the Passion or Vice of type 4.
What is missing is equanimity, which means being balanced and allowing yourself to be engaged with your emotions without being swept away or overwhelmed by them and recognizing that what is here in the present moment is sufficient. In Enneagram language, equanimity is the virtue of type 4.