i think a good way to type one's self is to just describe yourself without thinking in terms of any particular type you think you might be. your basic personality
I agree, when I start paying too much attention to trying to find a type I focus too much on what type each thing I say fits.
what you are like at your best and worst
At my best I am friendly and compassionate to others, I genuinely care about people and want everyone to be happy. I will sit with anyone and listen to them talk about everything going wrong in their life and offer a non-judgemental ear and sympathetic advice. I generally know what the other person needs and when I don't I ask so I can give them what they want/need, some want to discuss problems, some want to be distracted with fun.
I have great love for people, even strangers, and find them interesting, I want to help others if I can. I see everyone as having great worth, even the assholes that I cannot stand. I seek a deeper connection with people although for the most part I am unable to get this due to a) not everyone being willing to give that kind of depth, b) the often un-reciprocal nature of my caring about their problems not the other way around, and most importantly c) my difficulty letting anyone get close.
At my best I can be focused on what I want in my career, I will put myself out there and take risks trusting that things will work out for the best, and if they don't I know that I will find the bright side and take away something positive and educational. I have a great sense of internal peace and comfort. I seek adventure and new experiences, love life and think everything is simply super-delicious-awesome.
At my worst I cut myself off from everyone, I may still socialise with people and they may think that I am engaged but I'm not. I will pay a lot of attention to not showing anything is wrong. I avoid anything that causes me stress to my detriment allowing small problems to turn into massive issues by not dealing with them in a timely manner, I don't answer my phone, I don't open my mail, I hide away from the world. I cause myself more stress by avoiding and even though I intellectually know it is better to confront and know what the outcome will be I still avoid cause I prefer to pretend everything is okay.
I get frustrated by my relationships with people allowing internal conversations convince me that they are all surface and no one actually cares about me, that I'm not wanted and simply tolerated. I get upset that I push others to talk about their problems when I can see something is wrong and offer a supportive ear but no one can tell when I have problems so I don't get that back, or on the rare occasions when that does happen and someone notices and asks how I'm going I get annoyed that they're prying and want me to talk about things that will cause me to focus on bad feelings. I'm not okay showing negative emotions to others.
They are not consistent, I jump from interest to interest as it grabs me, the most consistent things in my life are sports, music and the never ending quest to understand myself and others. With music, besides of course listening to it, I love going to local gigs and playing bass myself. With sports I only enjoy team sports, the more active (ie football) the better.
I start lots of things then move on to something else shinier. My job is something I fell into after trying to study IT at Uni and realising I didn't like the pay you don't get while studying, I'm good at what I do, competent and it comes naturally to me. A large part of my job is risk assessment and being able to know what needs to be looked at in that regards and also reading people. I am given a lot of responsibility for the finances of a company, if I make a bad call it could potentially ruin a business but I know I am good at what I do and will base all my decisions on sound things so this does not intimidate me, I can make quick decisions when needed but I am comfortable saying no until I have reason to be comfortable with things, I am also comfortable seeking collaboration with others to ensure the best decision for the company's bottom line is made. Building relationships and networking are also big things. I am always learning more about my area of expertise, even if it's not necessary.
how you are in relationships
Bad. I have avoided relationships for most of my life, my last one was something very different, in a good way, but other than that I couldn't handle the feeling of suffocation, or that I was not who they wanted/needed me to be. I would walk away easily and quickly, I don't really know how to articulate how I felt in relationships before my last one but it's closest to the truth to say I was never able to be myself, I was okay being individual and unapologetic but I also had a strong need to be who they wanted me to be, which is why I would walk away as I generally couldn't be. When I left my 'partners' never saw it coming, and didn't understand why I left, they thought things were going great. My last relationship was the first one I'd been in where I knew it was okay to be myself, I knew that was who he wanted me to be, I still had the need to be who my partner wanted me to be but as he wanted authenticity it felt right.
In a relationship I need freedom, autonomy, space, openness and lack of clinginess. Things need to progress slowly, I don't like being invested at a different level to my partner; either more or less. And I constantly gauge where I'm at with them so I can feel secure, if I am uneasy I withdraw very quickly.
orientation toward parents being positive or negative for each of them
That's complex. First and formost I love them both.
I have much respect for my mother, when I was young-young she was very actively engaged in parenting, but as I grew up we had a trying relationship as she was in a bad place with her marriage ending. To me she was overbearing and difficult to please. There were a few years there where as a teenager it was just me at her at home and I can't remember having conversations with her without her yelling at me for something random, for a long time I was very angry and resentful that I would go to school, have a shit of a time for being different so get yelled at and teased there, only to come home and get yelled at some more. I withdrew and stayed withdrawn for about 15 years. I felt I had to be independent and take care of all of my emotional needs myself. Now I see her as wise, ever searching for deeper understanding and a big people lover, she is ESFJ.
I had a good relationship with my father growing up, he's an easy to please INFP who could not be a disciplinarian and would allow me anything I wanted generally, he never really grew up and took control of his life so it's harder to respect him, but I appreciate his easy going nature.
I cannot stand either of them bagging out the other and will walk away very bothered when it happens.