This is exactly how I feel...but now I am wondering if empathy in this case is more a dissociative Ni thing...According to the above definitions, empathy and sympathy tend to stick together as far as I am concerned.
I can empathize without being sympathetic, but the circumstance is rare and extreme. Sympathy unaccompanied by empathy is something I can't compute. Don't assume me an unconditional bleeding heart, though. Remember combination number four: no sympathy or empathy. When they're off, they're all the way off.
That is what I began to question. As a feeler, the two processes go together well, but it seemed hubristic in hindsight to think that Ni-synthesizing an experience I've never had necessarily means I am sharing anything with those who have had it, or that my vision isn't gravely inaccurate. Mistaking it for empathy when the above is the case could at worst be invasive to or alienate the recipient.This is exactly how I feel...but now I am wondering if empathy in this case is more a dissociative Ni thing...
Sure you can sympathize without empathizing. Why not? I can do it. This is actually what I usually do, I recognize someone's suffering and will even try to help them but still not feel the deep sharing of the feeling that is empathy.
For me empathizing without sympathy is what's weird Though sure it makes sense, it's just totally not what I do.
I say that F in general deals with sympathy and empathy, it's just where it is focused.
Fe - External Sympathy (broad, feel bad for anyone with a bad break) and External Empathy (broad, being able to understand other's emotional wellbeing)
Fi - Internal Sympathy (self-oriented or close people oriented) and Internal Empathy (empathizing within a close group of friends only)
Courtesy for (Aux and Dom) Fe users seems to be an automatic response with implicit conditions, whereas for me, it's an acknowledgement of a human being's intrinsic value, regardless of his actions or his ability to reciprocate the deed. Although obviously, there's a limit….
Another example I can think of is from earlier today; a barber messed up my hair pretty badly, forcing me to have to get a buzz cut (which I don't necessarily mind). While I'd imagine a Fe-user would hold a more obvious grudge towards him, I just accepted it, payed him what he asked, and left without a fuss. For whatever reason, I couldn't bring myself to blame him directly for what he'd done, even though he did me an obvious disservice. Perhaps it makes me spineless, but it felt like the right thing to do and I figured if he were to end up getting fired for poor service, I didn't want to be the person to do him in, no matter how 'inconsiderate' I may have perceived his actions to be.
I couldn't get what you mean by the bolded (particularly with "implicit" conditions)...Can you expand on that?
[MENTION=20531]yeghor[/MENTION]
The impression I get is that FJ's view relationships as a concrete exchange of emotions and goodwill....a sort of a "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" mentality. Now, this isn't to say that FJ's are keeping a tab on every gesture at all times, but they do seem to take more direct offense when they feel that their efforts haven't been properly reciprocated; an FP, on the other hand, usually isn't as quick to notice, although certainly capable of coming to a similar conclusion if there's been enough abuse.
I apologize if my descriptions of Fe seem cartoonish (or even spiteful), and I'm aware of the fact that they're probably tinged by own my bias...I think the Fe approach is perfectly valid and sensible (no more and no less than the Fi approach is), just different from my own. I can actually admire their seemingly natural ability to immediately put their foot down when it comes to certain things that I might be more lenient towards.
I didn't say you can't...It was a question...
From what I understand empathizing is trying to understand what the other person (in distress/trouble?) may be thinking or going through and sympathizing is what you do to alleviate that distress/trouble...
So empathizing is an internal process whereas sympathizing is an external process...
Sympathy without empathy doesn't ring true for me...Something in the external environment has to resonate inside you so as to drive you to offer sympathy to the other...?
An ISFJ (a Si-dom) for instance maybe remembering a past data (Si data) when he/she observes someone else in distress in the present and may then act thru Fe to offer help to the other...the help offered may be related or similar to the action taken in the past to alleviate that past distress...So does that Si recall count as empathy?
In regards to sympathy perhaps Fe may be geared more towards consolation, Te towards rationalization, Se towards catering to physical needs and Ne towards...showing alternative perspectives?
The impression I get is that FJ's view relationships as a concrete exchange of emotions and goodwill....a sort of a "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" mentality. Now, this isn't to say that FJ's are keeping a tab on every gesture at all times, but they do seem to take more direct offense when they feel that their efforts haven't been properly reciprocated; an FP, on the other hand, usually isn't as quick to notice, although certainly capable of coming to a similar conclusion if there's been enough abuse (or alternatively, if they feel that a personal value of theirs has been encroached).
I apologize if my descriptions of Fe seem cartoonish (or even spiteful), and I'm aware of the fact that they're probably tinged by own my bias...I think the Fe approach is perfectly valid and sensible (no more and no less than the Fi approach is), just different from my own. I can actually admire their seemingly natural ability to immediately put their foot down when it comes to certain things that I might be more lenient towards.
According to this, empathy is characterized for Fe. Fe is the best, when it comes to putting yourself in someone else's role. They can naturally feel other's emotions as they would be their own.Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes".
I think only if it's deeply felt, as per the definition of empathy. But then maybe there is a version where you understand but not actually feel it? What's that called?
Cognitive empathy?
I would be polite, pay them, maybe tip them, but probably never let them touch my hair again. Unless I thought they had done it intentionally, which I would not assume because that would be completely self-defeating. Intent matters for me in this context. If I found out they were not licensed but pretending to be, I'd be pretty miffed, though. If it turned out they were ill or very upset but usually did a better job, I might give them another chance. Maybe. I like my hair long and it takes awhile to grow out, so I might be too chicken. I might let them have a go at one of my kids if they were okay with it after full-disclosure.Another example I can think of is from earlier today; a barber messed up my hair pretty badly, forcing me to have to get a buzz cut (which I don't necessarily mind). While I'd imagine a Fe-user would hold a more obvious grudge towards him, I just accepted it, payed him what he asked, and left without a fuss. For whatever reason, I couldn't bring myself to blame him directly for what he'd done, even though he did me an obvious disservice. Perhaps it makes me spineless, but it felt like the right thing to do and I figured if he were to end up getting fired for poor service, I didn't want to be the person to do him in, no matter how 'inconsiderate' I may have perceived his actions to be.