Trash Panda
Retired
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2016
- Messages
- 415
I rarely feel anger but I have an issue with feeling hateful. I don't feel it toward anyone or anything in particular it's just a general "watch the world burn" feeling. Except it's not a feeling, it's a frame of mind. When I was a little kid when I was in this frame of mind I would imagine things being on fire and it soothed me. A specific incidence, I was 10 years old, in the passenger seat of the car, going to the store. As we passed by the various buildings of my neighborhood I wwould sit and imagine everything on fire. I found it comforting, I don't know how to explain it. I used to do it al the time. And I did hurt animals a few times but I felt bad about it. My step mom and my mom always used to ask me, even as a child "why are you so hateful?" and it confuses me because I don't know what that even means. This isn't trolling btw, I'm being 100% serious. As a child I for real did this.
Im not a psychopath, I love people and animals. I have this obsession with destroying and hurting things but then I feel bad about it later if I act on it. But I feel an over whelming compulsion to do it sometimes. Anyway the point is, a lot of people say "you need to let go of your anger" but I don't feel anger. So anyway I don't think this is that unusual, but I just have a hard time understanding what "hate" is. The only way I can describe it is it's like a cold empty feeling in my mind. A cold dumb feeling.
Thoughts?
Im not a psychopath, I love people and animals. I have this obsession with destroying and hurting things but then I feel bad about it later if I act on it. But I feel an over whelming compulsion to do it sometimes. Anyway the point is, a lot of people say "you need to let go of your anger" but I don't feel anger. So anyway I don't think this is that unusual, but I just have a hard time understanding what "hate" is. The only way I can describe it is it's like a cold empty feeling in my mind. A cold dumb feeling.
Thoughts?