Uytuun
New member
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2008
- Messages
- 1,633
- MBTI Type
- nnnn
I see. from my way of functioning it is that we should respect each other, and that includes feelings, so if someone who is your friend is in a bad way, the nature of the relationship implies that you have an obligation to try to make them feel better.
Hehe, that's interesting...I actually do have a sense of obligation with friends and loved ones, but it is constructed empathically, in myself. It's not the relationship that makes me do it (at least not primarily), it's the way I feel about the people in question that makes me tend to their feelings (and once I've chosen or those take root, you end up with Fi loyalty). Often the end result will be the same for Fe users and Fi users, but in the case of family for example, the difference can become more obvious with Fe users feeling the pull of family ties more strongly than Fi users do. After all you don't choose your family and choosing (internal, independent) is a large part of Fi.
But then if they are not reciprocating but instead just keep expressing to you their feelings without engaging with constructive suggestions, then they are just being self-indulgent and abusing my sense of obligation.
It's an act of trust and a way to show you they value you/how much you mean to them. Even if the emotions expressed are negative. They're not trying to blame or expect you to make everything better magically. Maybe just acknowledge their feelings or show that you understand? Just talk with them, they want to explore the feeling with you (thoroughly), they don't necessarily expect a fix or an endpoint. Like Uumlau said, there really is no task at hand. It's like Ti vs. Te.
Of course there's a point at which regardless of the kind of feeling you use, you start to indulge in whining. A good Fi user will realise when they start to burden you with their emo spewing or at least empathise with your position.