Wow nyx, he sounds like the typical ENTP.
To answer your original question.
ENTP loves you!
I can't speak for all ENTP's obviously but here's what I know.
Your theory is valid. I could see myself behave in the way you described. And yes, you are being used to help shape the frameworks of their lives.
But is that such a bad thing? You are actually improving the life of someone you love, and better yet, you make him happy. And he makes you happy. As for the intense catching up and not seeing each other often. If the guy is as self-conscious as me he realizes that the two of you should catch up more often, but he may be afraid that it will become something casual. Passionate experiences are addictive to all ENTPs.
It could also be that he is afraid of emotional dependency, like you said. It can be hard for anybody to open up. But then again, if he feels safe with you then someday he will open up anyway. Best take it slow.
As for your final two questions.
It's love and you care because oxytocin is rushing through your brain every time you think of this guy. It's a powerful reaction, isn't it?
Yes and no, at the moment you're over-analysing, I think you're getting your emotional validation from this guy and it isn't working for you. You can think of the guy, but focus on the more practical side.
A good advice for feelers communicating with thinkers is to learn about
S.M.A.R.T. goal setting. ENTPs are people pleasers and will want to know how to make you feel good. But don't throw too much emotions in the mix, because in the end only YOU are responsible for them and you can't rely on an ENTP to understand them all of the time.
Ooh, I just thought of something. For added effect, if you feel you have good enough rapport with him, give him the list on the back of a letter that graphically describes what you're going to do to him if he's a good boy. Sprinkle it in your perfume. Draw something on it. If the guy is anything like me, this would make it a game and a challenge, and drive him wild. Don't make it too personal, he will want to show this to all his friends.
Oh, and Please Do Me A Favor.