kyuuei
Emperor/Dictator
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2008
- Messages
- 13,964
- MBTI Type
- enfp
- Enneagram
- 8
I do not do things because I want credit, I do not things because I want to say " lookit me I AM the bigger person!" I do it because I hate wasted time and I hate bullshit. I especially hate time wasted by bullshit. So I'd prefer to just get shit done. Don't care how others percieve this, don't care that the " entitled and incompitent" ( which yah they are) get another free ride. I just caring about doing what needs to be done.
You're one of those people who is obssesed with being " different" you found out you're not ( based on some number system? Who gives a shit?) so now you can't accept that anyone else might be. TBH, if you have to force yourself to be part of the " 1%" you never really were.
I don't see what's so great about it personally. I think it would be wonderful to be to be generally accepted by people. Just to be able to relate to another human being would be a fucking dream.
So, I understand how you feel, but you're barking up the wrong tree here. I've put up with enough judgement and hatred over the years to earn the right to say that I am a little different. If you take offense to that well, that is your issue and it wont be made mine.
Who said anything about " right?" We're talking about people, how and why they do. I think it's pretty messed up to tell someone that they are wrong on thier own motivations.
I never said " fiiiine " I said "Fine." It is a difinitve. If I truly did not want to do something I wont. It is not something I jump to at every oppertunity, which is often the implication of 8's: they insist on leading all the time because they are bossy."
I think I know the type of people I deal with a little better than you. They are not incompitent or incapable.They are certainly not meek. They are entitled, lazy, anti-social, indecisive, and spiteful. If they do decide to lead it's only for the percieved power- the a bsolute last people you would want to lead.
... Wait.. So.. When I say "You just step up and take the position knowing ahead you'll probably be the one to do it" and you say
Don't care how others percieve this, don't care that the " entitled and incompitent" ( which yah they are) get another free ride. I just caring about doing what needs to be done.
.. I fail to see how these are not congruent to one another.
I never made one single presumption on your motivations for WHY you take leadership or why you allow guys 'another free ride' or anything. Nothing in my post was about credit or glory or any of that. It was about your perceptions. "Doing things the right way (aka your way)".. and your descriptions are that the other people are bad choices, that they are the last people you'd want in power, and that you hate wasting time and just want shit to get done that needs to be done. That sounds like your perception of everything.. Now, that can very well be the reality as well. I have no idea.
And to be fair... You didn't really specify "at work I always have to do this, but at home not so much".. You just made a very bland, vague generalization in your first post.. you called it your mantra.. so, no, I didn't specify my post to just your work situations. You made it seem like this is just your norm in life--not at work particularly. I didn't have that context until a reply... So, in that context, yeah it seems a little presumptive of me to say "are all these people shitty? Really? All the time???" versus my intended context of "everyone in your life just needs you to step up?" because your coworkers? they may very well be shitty entitled lazy people.. I've dealt with my fair share of whole-team-fiascoes... But even so... The point still holds water. It is still your perception of 'the right way'. No time wasting, no shitty-people in decision-making roles, no nonsense stuff. Those don't sound like bad things to me at all, and nothing in my post was trying to imply you were doing a bad thing taking control. it's what 8s do. It's what we're good at.
I did imply that you were resentful.. But you sound resentful as hell in your original post I replied to. "Fine, I'll do it" being your mantra? And it isn't even a tiiinnnggeeee teeny tiny bit of a resentful fine being thrown in there? Why even bother saying the most common colloquialism in the English language for begrudgingly agreeing if there isn't any form of negativity attached to it? Why not "I'll do it."? Nothing indicating much emotion there one way or the other.. Maybe this is just internet miscommunication, but it seemed pretty plainly negative to me. Especially in the context of "my coworkers are shit and that's why I always have to step up." I also don't imply this is a bad thing.. it can be exhausting to always want to do things the most efficient way and the only way that'll happen is if you're at the head of it all. It can be a shitty thing to deal with shitty people.. but, at the end of the day, you would still be resenting them for something you've essentially volunteered for.. and I get sometimes there's no way around it..
8s don't insist on leading because they're bossy. They insist because of the very things you're describing.. feeling others are less capable of the leadership role, and the leadership roles being a naturally good fit for the 8, and the efficiency of being able to be in charge of a situation so you have control of it. It is the control the 8 craves, not the feeling of bossiness or credit or anything like that.
You seem reallllyyyyy touchy about this subject, and my reply was not at all trying to make you upset or anything like that. I'm not doubting your 8ness, I'm actually trying to explore the possibility that.. yeah, like many 8s, you may secretly want these leadership roles instead of just feeling forced into every single one that comes your way.