ajblaise
Minister of Propagandhi
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2008
- Messages
- 7,914
- MBTI Type
- INTP
I have had a few difficult decisions. One was to give up the idea of God. I'm agnostic not because it feels right, or because I'm angry at god or religious people. I don't think my reasoning is necessarily superior to people who ascribe to a religion, since I am merely a product of my experiences and can point to a place in time where I held irrational assumptions like anyone might. The implications of agnosticism can have negative emotional impact on me. The reason I hold that position is because it is the honest position. It is the natural conclusion for the actual doubts I have. It isn't comfortable, but it makes sense.
The important decisions in my life have not been based on how comfortable they feel to me. I have made personal decisions that were painful and frightening, but were reasonable and had positive outcomes that were clear if I looked past the current feelings about it. I am tough on myself and will dismiss anything I feel about something if it gets in the way of a decision based on honesty (i.e. the reality of the situation).
Yes, I found leaving God to be a big decision.
It was preceded by years of philosophical debate, but the moment of truth came when I had to decide between sleeping with my girlfriend and being a sacramental christian.
I knew I couldn't have both. I had to have one or the other. And fortunately I chose Rhonda.
So I swapped God for Rhonda.
But since then I have tried to have my cake and eat it too.
So today I see God through metaphorical eyes.
Metaphor is often misunderstood and demeaned, but so far it is only humans that can think metaphorically.
As you know metaphors are comparisons of relationships. And metaphor underlies all of language and mathematics.
So we might say, metaphor is the language of God.
And anyway, metaphor enables me to sleep with my girlfriend and receive the sacraments.
So the big decision turned out to be no decision at all - and now I have my cake and eat it too.
Whoopee!
Hmmmm. Sometimes it's good to be a soulless NT. I was able to leave God in my early teens, and it wasn't even a decision really.