I am an Infp 4w5 who has just ended a relationship with a ISTP E5 guy.
There are some stuffs that I can't get my head around, hopefully I can get some insights here.
I just found out that the guy I was dating wasn't whom I thought he is. I got to know him via a gal pal of mine who is his housemate. I love him but cut him off due to various reasons.
To cut a long story short, after I cut him off, I went to find solace with my gal pal. She told me stuffs (with proof) that I can't imagine in my wildest dreams. Basically he was playing with me and was seeing many other gals at the same time. I felt very hurt then as I was lead to believe that he was true to me. (He cried when I wanted to leave the first time round and asked me if I want him to marry me, as a result I stayed) She didn't tell me earlier as I wasn't ready to hear the truth, I was defensive and making excuses for him all the time.
He is extremely commitment phobic and doesn't want marriage nor kids. He has an EXTREME fear of getting any gal pregnant to the extent that he hasn't had sex before. He is 33 years old with healthy body and sexual functioning and he stayed with his ex-girlfriend for a year. From what I understand, he had a difficult childhood. His dad left when he was young. His mom was a drug addict who suffers from depression as well as need to amputate her leg due to diabetes. He later need to tear himself away from his mom to look for his dad in another country to get his education. He never felt that he was included in his step-family and had resentments about it. A few years later he got a call to inform him that his mom has passed on which is a huge blow to him.
What I couldn't get round my head is a healthy 33 year old guy abstinence and fear of sex and at the same time, motivation to put in so much energy for skirt chasing, date many girls at the same time, lie excessively and not bed them. It just doesn't seem normal. What's his motivation? The more I try to understand the more I don't. Hoping to get some insights here so that I can achieve my closure and peace from within.
There are some stuffs that I can't get my head around, hopefully I can get some insights here.
I just found out that the guy I was dating wasn't whom I thought he is. I got to know him via a gal pal of mine who is his housemate. I love him but cut him off due to various reasons.
To cut a long story short, after I cut him off, I went to find solace with my gal pal. She told me stuffs (with proof) that I can't imagine in my wildest dreams. Basically he was playing with me and was seeing many other gals at the same time. I felt very hurt then as I was lead to believe that he was true to me. (He cried when I wanted to leave the first time round and asked me if I want him to marry me, as a result I stayed) She didn't tell me earlier as I wasn't ready to hear the truth, I was defensive and making excuses for him all the time.
He is extremely commitment phobic and doesn't want marriage nor kids. He has an EXTREME fear of getting any gal pregnant to the extent that he hasn't had sex before. He is 33 years old with healthy body and sexual functioning and he stayed with his ex-girlfriend for a year. From what I understand, he had a difficult childhood. His dad left when he was young. His mom was a drug addict who suffers from depression as well as need to amputate her leg due to diabetes. He later need to tear himself away from his mom to look for his dad in another country to get his education. He never felt that he was included in his step-family and had resentments about it. A few years later he got a call to inform him that his mom has passed on which is a huge blow to him.
What I couldn't get round my head is a healthy 33 year old guy abstinence and fear of sex and at the same time, motivation to put in so much energy for skirt chasing, date many girls at the same time, lie excessively and not bed them. It just doesn't seem normal. What's his motivation? The more I try to understand the more I don't. Hoping to get some insights here so that I can achieve my closure and peace from within.