Etrielle
New member
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2015
- Messages
- 10
Both my sisters, two of my nieces, my mother-in-law and my aunt are all INFPs. My problem is their easy digression emotionally into manipulative reactions, like gossip and behind the scene sabotage of their chosen victims. What is it with them and passive aggressive sabotage?
For example, my sister decided her middle child was the hardest, so she has unconsciously taken revenge by never letting her middle daughter be anything but her version of her, which is sadly a poor one. My neice is an amazing person, and her younger sister is a brat, and my sister never even attempts to do anything but validate the younger INFP sister's awful behavior. It's like the INFP chooses a victim and then puts an insane amount of time and gossip into the chosen victim only being seen as the INFP sees them. It doesn't matter that the INFP's version is wrong. First of all, INFP's never think they are wrong. They hide behind their image of calm while vindictively sabotaging the person they are holding a grudge against. They twist situations and other people's motives until it is as far from reality as it gets, and yet the INFP holds on to the wrong belief with grim determination. What is that?
I feel like INFP's try and force their opinions on others about others, and they are often narrow minded rigid opinions. INFPs often seem irrational about a situation. For example, my INFP niece was told by her director that missing dress rehearsal and not calling was unfair to the group. Well, my INFP niece turned the situation around by being angry at the director. Why? Because she was only 16 and couldn't take that kind of pressure. What's worse? Mama INFP agreed and told the director she was wrong to say anything?!? Honestly, that makes zero sense to me. On top of that, if the middle niece had done the same thing she would have been grounded and further mentally abused by hearing what an irresponsible child she was...again. My INFP sister labeled her the bad one, so everything the middle niece does is seen through the mother's completely insane version of her middle daughter. It drives a lot of people in our family insane, but we haven't found a way to talk to the INFPs without them denying it and then being mad at the messanger.
The absolute denial of obvious logic and the costant twisting things to better suit their perspective is absolutely the most predictable INFP negative trait. Well, that and picking a victim and ruthlessly forcing them into their narrow and entirely wrong opinion of the chosen victim. I've seen every INFP in my life do it to someone close to them.
Has anyone ever found a way to help an INFP stop this destructive pattern? I see the INFP women in my life do it on the daily, but because of their tightly held belief they are always right, I have found it hard to try and break the cycle.
For example, my sister decided her middle child was the hardest, so she has unconsciously taken revenge by never letting her middle daughter be anything but her version of her, which is sadly a poor one. My neice is an amazing person, and her younger sister is a brat, and my sister never even attempts to do anything but validate the younger INFP sister's awful behavior. It's like the INFP chooses a victim and then puts an insane amount of time and gossip into the chosen victim only being seen as the INFP sees them. It doesn't matter that the INFP's version is wrong. First of all, INFP's never think they are wrong. They hide behind their image of calm while vindictively sabotaging the person they are holding a grudge against. They twist situations and other people's motives until it is as far from reality as it gets, and yet the INFP holds on to the wrong belief with grim determination. What is that?
I feel like INFP's try and force their opinions on others about others, and they are often narrow minded rigid opinions. INFPs often seem irrational about a situation. For example, my INFP niece was told by her director that missing dress rehearsal and not calling was unfair to the group. Well, my INFP niece turned the situation around by being angry at the director. Why? Because she was only 16 and couldn't take that kind of pressure. What's worse? Mama INFP agreed and told the director she was wrong to say anything?!? Honestly, that makes zero sense to me. On top of that, if the middle niece had done the same thing she would have been grounded and further mentally abused by hearing what an irresponsible child she was...again. My INFP sister labeled her the bad one, so everything the middle niece does is seen through the mother's completely insane version of her middle daughter. It drives a lot of people in our family insane, but we haven't found a way to talk to the INFPs without them denying it and then being mad at the messanger.
The absolute denial of obvious logic and the costant twisting things to better suit their perspective is absolutely the most predictable INFP negative trait. Well, that and picking a victim and ruthlessly forcing them into their narrow and entirely wrong opinion of the chosen victim. I've seen every INFP in my life do it to someone close to them.
Has anyone ever found a way to help an INFP stop this destructive pattern? I see the INFP women in my life do it on the daily, but because of their tightly held belief they are always right, I have found it hard to try and break the cycle.