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- Jan 25, 2014
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That sort of discussion, as I understand it, is going to really stress out an Fe-user. They'll see it as hostile, and that hostility will frustrate them and make it less likely for them to trust them as a source of accurate facts -- which is where the Fe/Te difference comes in. Fe -- again, as I understand it -- cares much more about presentation, when they decide who to listen to and who to trust.
Edit: A conservative (in the general sense of the word) ESTJ will probably also be kind of cranky if he or she is corrected rudely -- but they will be quick to adopt your opinion if you win the argument. They'll grumble and likely never say "you're right", but soon enough you'll see them spouting off your opinion as if it was theirs all along.
So I'm ENFJ, but I definitely can relate to that part. This is a really good distinction between Fe and Te (and I see it as independent of the N/S axis too).
I was raised by an ESTJ father and an INFJ mother (divorced at age 3 so they were apart nearly all my life), and around my father I had to try and keep things from a Te like perspective. I failed miserably as a child for a variety of reasons, but as I got older I learned and to this still emulate it.
Most of the time, I make a semi-conscious effort to learn the fact as they are, approach them as they are, and deal with it as is. It's a super important skill that I feel is really needed in life, so I have adopted it. However, presentation is important. I can tollerate pretty much any sort of presentation. I've learned how to detatch well, but I will never be perfect at it. If it is too far out of alignment with how I see it should be presented, it does put pressure on me and can be extremely stressful. Even if something is 100% right, and I can see it be the case in every way, if something is presented super poorly, I find myself resenting the person doing it, and even looking for way to find how it is wrong "This is being presented so badly, it's so wrong, there is no way this can be rignt! AHHH!". I'll eventually swallow it, but I will be kicking and screaming the whole way there, and someone may need to drag me.