Thanks! I've been in a relationship with my INFP for almost five years now, so I'm interested in hearing other people's experience.
The bolded is true. However, I think Fi is a very subjective, non-judgmental function (or at least judgmental in a different way), and it is in a way very accepting. Yes, it is intriguing, and not just because it is mysterious. From my experience I have found that with good communication, both Fe and Fi can learn from each other and can become more balanced. The learning process is usually full of (figurative) bloodshed along the way though.
This was the opposite way round in my experience. My INFP is quite physically expressive and used to feel extremely hurt when I didn't want to do it in public. I think enneagram types come into play a lot here as well. I got a feeling from your post that the INFJ in question was quite insecure and needed a lot of proactive affirmation. I think in my case I'm pretty intense, so I don't mind initiating things, and when I do my INFP usually responds well to it, so there was never a problem.
Yeah, I have to admit that this bothered me quite a bit at times. I had to do a lot of adjusting. However, I think in the recent months my INFP has also started to understand why social norms and 'rules' are there, so we are meeting each other half-way
I think INFP/INFJ relationships can work if both parties are mature enough. In my experience that had involved a lot of initial 'blind faith' to give it a real good chance before you can learn to understand each other. I've come to appreciate our differences and I think we fulfill each other in a way. Words of wisdom I read from a website at the beginning of the relationship that had helped a lot was "Each party tend to feel that their partner's way is inferior" -- so I was determined not to let this happen, and in conflicts I tried to accept the fact that we are different, and not wrong. That had helped a lot.