NT
Quality time
Physical touch
NT.
To fit my squarish self into a roundish hole, I would have to say:
1. Quality Time (which emcompasses very deep personal talk / exploration of world)
followed by
2. Physical Touch [not necessarily sex]
Words of Affirmation only work in the right context.
Gifts only work if your gift shows you know me uniquely.
Gifts of Service are appreciated pragmatically but don't really stroke me.
I wish those three things meant more to me, but typically they roll off my back, unless I am specifically asking for them.
To be honest, I just want to talk meaningfully and feel like someone knows me, and delights in me and who I am.
EDIT: I just skimmed the rest of the thread... ROFL
Heh, I think our orders of preference are identical. I just don't get the whole "Acts of Service" thing. That's dead last for me behind Gifts (which I appreciate but don't expect or demand).
...
He identifies the 5 languages as these:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
...
yeah. You can never give me a gift or try to affirm me with words, and yet we could still be close; but if you do not spend "deep time" with me, we'll never ever be really close at all.
Gift-giving doesn't usually do much for me, since I usually dislike the gifts, don't need them, and prefer to choose things for myself. ... I consider this the best kind of gift, since it lets me spend more time on things I prefer to be doing, or to work on something with fewer interruptions. It also makes me just plain feel cared for.
Too bad this thread didn't include instinctual stackings. You might get a stronger correlation.
As in for yourself? There are enneagram tests that will help you decide on your instinctual variants/subtype/stackings.hmm, where can I find that out?
What do the rest of you consider to be physical touch? In my case, I mean nothing more than a back rub when I'm stressed, or a quick peck on the cheek when she's walking by, just because. It doesn't have to be sexual at all.