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  1. #1
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    Default INTJ psycho-analysing potential mates

    When dealing with INTJ men, I found this thing very boring : they want to psycho-analysis you, when they get interested in you and start spinning in their head and stressing if they know you enough to start something with you, instead of enjoying your company and getting to know you by sharing time with you like anyone else would do. Is that really any usual pattern with INTJs?

  2. #2
    More human than human MetalWounds's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    When dealing with INTJ men, I found this thing very boring : they want to psycho-analysis you, when they get interested in you and start spinning in their head and stressing if they know you enough to start something with you, instead of enjoying your company and getting to know you by sharing time with you like anyone else would do. Is that really any usual pattern with INTJs?
    No, not really, we like to know exactly who we are dealing with. Also this gives us useful information as to predicting future actions and deciphering motives behind the things you say/do.
    I'm doing science and I'm still alive

  3. #3
    Highly Hollow Wandering's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cality View Post
    Is that really any usual pattern with INTJs?
    Not just INTJs...

  4. #4
    a white iris elfinchilde's Avatar
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    think you'd get this with basically any TJ type....
    You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
    They called me the hyacinth girl.
    Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
    Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
    Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
    Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
    Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

    --T.S Eliot, The Wasteland

  5. #5
    Senior Member Cality's Avatar
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    ok! interesting! any other reaction?

    Just for you TJ guys : don't make it obvious when you psycho-analyse a girl. This is a strong love killer!

  6. #6
    Wannabe genius Splittet's Avatar
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    But when one is a bit stressed one tends to do what comes most natural to oneself, and guess what that is in the case of INTJs... :P Also my guess is INTJs interested in MBTI analyse other people more than INTJs who are not interested in it. Good news is I think most INTJs after a while will mostly stop to analyse you and get more into the moment, I guess ENFPs has a way with getting us and our attention out in the world.

  7. #7
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Relations between INTJ and ENFP would normally be one of "supervision" with INTJ as supervisor. I could rabbit on but the short of it is that this is not a *ideal* pair; you'll know this before the INTJ does. He'll have to think about it lots. [See h**p://www.socionics.com/rel/sp.htm]

    My old boss at work was an ENFP and it became rather strange as he adopted the role of supervisee and I the supervisor. A very strange dynamic indeed.

    Casual thoughts. Maybe INTJs are better listeners (needs to feed the N occassionally). This can come across as "psycho-analysis" if you are constantly surrounded by people who never really listen. Go into any bar or cafe and look out for someone really listening. It's an extraverted world and people that take the time to pay attention stick out, albeit unconsciously.

    Fs get a good or a bad feeling about people and that's it - and usually they're right, fairly quickly. Being less gifted in this arena NTs would probably hold back until they've got the evidence. Ergo if you ask me why I like or don't like someone I can usually list the reasons with supporting evidence.

  8. #8
    Wannabe genius Splittet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bananatrombones View Post
    I could rabbit on but the short of it is that this is not a *ideal* pair; you'll know this before the INTJ does.
    Actually the INTJ and ENFP are an ideal match, according to certain MBTI match theories.

    Quote Originally Posted by http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ_rel.html
    Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the INTJ's natural partner is the ENFP, or the ENTP. INTJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a partner whose personality is dominated by Extraverted Intuition.
    The theory behind it: Natural Partners

  9. #9
    Senior Member matmos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Splittet View Post
    Actually the INTJ and ENFP are an ideal match, according to certain MBTI match theories.



    The theory behind it: Natural Partners
    There are lots of theories. From personal experience I'll go with the socionics one here. I don't discount the possibility that I'm wrong, though.

    With all respect to ENFPs, the ones I've known generally get on my goat after a while; mostly probably I get on their's too. This is seldom instant.

  10. #10
    Wannabe genius Splittet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bananatrombones View Post
    There are lots of theories. From personal experience I'll go with the socionics one here. I don't discount the possibility that I'm wrong, though.

    With all respect to ENFPs, the ones I've known generally get on my goat after a while; mostly probably I get on their's too. This is seldom instant.
    Don't forget that INTj Socionics is INTP MBTI. INTp Socionics is INTJ MBTI. Not that this Socionics theory is any more positive then: Illusionary relations between psychological ("personality") types

    Personally I just think the INTJ-ENFP relationship has great potential, but obviously it's not going to work out every time, the specific individuals in question are obviously of utmost importance. Type certainly is not the only important characteristic of a person, humans are far more complex than that. All types can simply have positive and negative relationships, although some types on average have more positive relationships. It's all so painfully obvious.

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