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  1. #11
    Unlimited Dancemoves ® AgentF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    Suck it up and ask one of them if they'd like to cuddle. Then you can slip away while they're jumping up and down and clapping at the thought.
    true.

    similar results can be achieved by asking, "who wants cupcakes!?!"
    I may be kindly, I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all.
    ~ Catherine the Great


    7w6 ❣ sx/so ❤ physical touch ❥ sanguine 70%, choleric 30% ❦

    Johari.

  2. #12
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    Why can't the self be resolved with reality? I don't get it.
    Our perceptions are incapable of percieving what is actual. (Or, we are incapable of knowing if our perceptions percieve what is actual).

    From that point, it is better to just accept this and move on to more pressing matters. Endlessly trying to resolve that difference (especially with others) is futile. With other people involved, the best you could hope for is to achieve a consensus of what is being percieved...which is all nice and dandy, but it leads nowhere.

    From the nfs all I was hearing was "this is what I percieved and this is how it affected my self" and "that's funny, this is how it affected my self. Why the difference?" Then endless debates about whose self was affected "better" or "more accurately". The goal seemed to be about resolving the two differing selves in order to participate in a nice make up session at the end of it all. But the actuality of it all was completely lost in the discussion.

    Granted, the actuality will always be lost, but it should always remain central.

  4. #14
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    I know it is silly, but I find it important to go through every single feeling/issue (how I upsetted the person, why did it upset them, do they understand what I mean now, etc etc) to get through the situation, be it a disagreement or whatever. Often, even though I feel I may be in the 'right', I find it so hard to cope with the situation and the thoughts of upsetting someone that I will just break down in a big, teary and sincere apology. When it is a recurring issue, I really want to analyze it with the person to get to the very root of the issue. A big discussion with a productive outcome is what I have in mind in this case.

    This puzzles and tires my INFJ brother (we are both adults living away from home), who would much rather not talk about it and that puzzles me, because I don't see the logic in that. "It's a issue, it's getting in between our relationship, I love you and I want to have a healthy relationship with you" <------ that's how I think.

    As a side point, I can't believe INFJs are meant to be compatible partners to ENFPs.

  5. #15
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evan View Post
    Why can't the self be resolved with reality? I don't get it.
    I believe he suppresses his emotion to accomplish his goals. It's a useful trick.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  6. #16
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Xis, the actual goal is to see the same situation literally through someone elses eyes, and to then backtrack that to what causes that difference in perception within that person (be it background, life experiences, gender roles, age, different interests). Once you understand where it comes from, it is possible and quite powerful to hold those different views within one mind and repeat that experience (if you have all the data, that is), for the next situation, even if that person isn't present. It enriches your own point of view and allows you to hold two (or more) opposing perceptions, and often judgements of the same situation within your mind without going insane as it all makes perfect sense. The frustration of it not making sense before also causes this desperate need to find this understanding. You know you're just missing info. It's quite powerful..and addictive

    Enjoy the nut house

  7. #17
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    I can't suppress emotions really. I can't fully move on until the problem is solved...

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Xis, the actual goal is to see the same situation literally through someone elses eyes, and to then backtrack that to what causes that difference in perception within that person (be it background, life experiences, gender roles, age, different interests). Once you understand where it comes from, it is possible and quite powerful to hold those different views within one mind and repeat that experience (if you have all the data, that is), for the next situation, even if that person isn't present. It enriches your point of view and allows you to hold two (or more) opposing perceptions, and often judgements of the same situation within your mind without going insane as it all makes perfect sense. The frustration of it not making sense before also causes this desperate need to find this understanding. You know you're just missing info. It's quite powerful..and addictive

    Enjoy the nut house
    Amargith, yes this is exactly right.

  9. #19
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Xis, the actual goal is to see the same situation literally through someone elses eyes, and to then backtrack that to what causes that difference in perception within that person (be it background, life experiences, gender roles, age, different interests). Once you understand where it comes from, it is possible and quite powerful to hold those different views within one mind and repeat that experience (if you have all the data, that is), for the next situation, even if that person isn't present. It enriches your own point of view and allows you to hold two (or more) opposing perceptions, and often judgements of the same situation within your mind without going insane as it all makes perfect sense. The frustration of it not making sense before also causes this desperate need to find this understanding. You know you're just missing info. It's quite powerful..and addictive

    Enjoy the nut house
    Yes yes yes! I don't know you, but I think I might just love you for explaining that so perfectly.
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

  10. #20
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Xis, the actual goal is to see the same situation literally through someone elses eyes, and to then backtrack that to what causes that difference in perception within that person (be it background, life experiences, gender roles, age, different interests). Once you understand where it comes from, it is possible and quite powerful to hold those different views within one mind and repeat that experience (if you have all the data, that is), for the next situation, even if that person isn't present. It enriches your own point of view and allows you to hold two (or more) opposing perceptions, and often judgements of the same situation within your mind without going insane as it all makes perfect sense. The frustration of it not making sense before also causes this desperate need to find this understanding. You know you're just missing info. It's quite powerful..and addictive

    Enjoy the nut house
    It's nice to hear other people understand that thought process and be able to explain it. It is addictive, this is pretty much what I live for.

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