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  1. #31
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I talk to eveyone the same way, and if they don't understand me then that's their problem. and for the record most of the world can get the gist of what I'm saying.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #32
    Senior Member seeker22's Avatar
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    I have to give my former ISFJ credit - she was kind of like "my rock" as far as handling the business of every day living and "the real world." She had her practical every day routines, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry. She took "good care of me" in that sense. But I wanted/needed more than "a caretaker." I want/need intellectual stimulation, emotional intimacy and closeness, a mindmate, a playmate... She didn't fit that bill. =(

    For me, there was always "something missing." Being an "N" (and a HIGH "N" at that) we just couldn't seem to bridge that N/S gap. She wanted to talk about factual, concrete, practical things. I wanted to theorize, postulate, wonder, explore, imagine, envision... She just couldn't go there. She didn't "get it." She didn't have that natural curiosity, drive, or desire to go a bit deeper than surface stuff. This resulted in me quite frequently (daily) becoming bored, resentful, annoyed, and starved for "connection." She did not understand what was "missing" for me. She was content.

    My SJ was a "dud" when it came to verbal banter. Verbal repartee is paramount to me and so engaging. I often felt like I was talking to a brick wall with my SJ who was "there," but "not there." If good conversation is like a tennis match, where you each "hit one back" to the other, my tennis balls were just kind of rolling to the back wall with my SJ. Nothing ever came "back."

    I knew she loved me and I thought to myself - I have a hot, decent, good person who cooks, cleans, does my laundry, etc. - yet I don't feel content. What is wrong with ME??! I started to think I was insatiable or something... Then I realized - I didn't feel CONNECTED or ENGAGED. I felt like we were PARALLEL to one another not INTERTWINED.

    She always said she felt like she bored me or that she was too boring for me... And we tried EVERYTHING as far as learning to communicate better - including books, therapy, etc. It NEVER changed. =( I just don't think you can change one another's natural temperaments and relational styles. I tried soooooo hard to change my own to adjust to hers. It was like self suicide. =(

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by seeker22 View Post
    I have to give my former ISFJ credit - she was kind of like "my rock" as far as handling the business of every day living and "the real world." She had her practical every day routines, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry. She took "good care of me" in that sense. But I wanted/needed more than "a caretaker." I want/need intellectual stimulation, emotional intimacy and closeness, a mindmate, a playmate... She didn't fit that bill. =(

    For me, there was always "something missing." Being an "N" (and a HIGH "N" at that) we just couldn't seem to bridge that N/S gap. She wanted to talk about factual, concrete, practical things. I wanted to theorize, postulate, wonder, explore, imagine, envision... She just couldn't go there. She didn't "get it." She didn't have that natural curiosity, drive, or desire to go a bit deeper than surface stuff. This resulted in me quite frequently (daily) becoming bored, resentful, annoyed, and starved for "connection." She did not understand what was "missing" for me. She was content.

    My SJ was a "dud" when it came to verbal banter. Verbal repartee is paramount to me and so engaging. I often felt like I was talking to a brick wall with my SJ who was "there," but "not there." If good conversation is like a tennis match, where you each "hit one back" to the other, my tennis balls were just kind of rolling to the back wall with my SJ. Nothing ever came "back."

    I knew she loved me and I thought to myself - I have a hot, decent, good person who cooks, cleans, does my laundry, etc. - yet I don't feel content. What is wrong with ME??! I started to think I was insatiable or something... Then I realized - I didn't feel CONNECTED or ENGAGED. I felt like we were PARALLEL to one another not INTERTWINED.

    She always said she felt like she bored me or that she was too boring for me... And we tried EVERYTHING as far as learning to communicate better - including books, therapy, etc. It NEVER changed. =( I just don't think you can change one another's natural temperaments and relational styles. I tried soooooo hard to change my own to adjust to hers. It was like self suicide. =(
    ANOTHER person who refers to "all Ss" and talks about an SJ.... YUCK old tried and true concepts? eh?

    Generalizing here of course but
    S = traditional
    N = unconventional
    J = traditional
    P = UNCONVENTIONAL

    You will find it severely much easier to talk about those "unusual" concepts with an SP, maybe not the same as another NP but do you really want a clone of yourself?

    If anything it will be more interesting, imagine them connecting to your concept then actually expanding on its practicality

    Generalizing here but an SP WOULD be more likely to do that, an SJ is not interested in a "new" way of doing things

    I simply detest that you box "all S's" and forget about the very unique very unconventional SP temperament

  4. #34
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    ANOTHER person who refers to "all Ss" and talks about an SJ.... YUCK old tried and true concepts? eh?

    Generalizing here of course but
    S = traditional
    N = unconventional
    J = traditional
    P = UNCONVENTIONAL

    You will find it severely much easier to talk about those "unusual" concepts with an SP, maybe not the same as another NP but do you really want a clone of yourself?

    If anything it will be more interesting, imagine them connecting to your concept then actually expanding on its practicality

    Generalizing here but an SP WOULD be more likely to do that, an SJ is not interested in a "new" way of doing things

    I simply detest that you box "all S's" and forget about the very unique very unconventional SP temperament
    In fairness to SJs also, there are some who work hard to bridge the gap. My ISFJ mother makes a tremendous effort to communicate with me because it's important to her to make a deeper connection. Both of her husbands have been intuitives and I think she greatly admires intuitives, even as we frustrate and confuse her at times.
    Since xSFJs can be so nurturing, I think they can have the motivation to go that extra mile. xSTJs also have a frightening determination, so quite possible for them also
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #35
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    I simply detest that you box "all S's" and forget about the very unique very unconventional SP temperament
    +1

    Seems funny that we tend to get lumped together with something (convention/tradition) that goes counter to what the temperament is all about.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

    Quinlan's Creations

  6. #36
    Senior Member Jeremy's Avatar
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    I'm just myself around everyone. I don't really take it into account whether someone is an N or an S.. It's not like we speak different languages. Most people just see me as sort of quirky sometimes, and that's part of how I like to be seen, so it works for me
    "Can you set me free from this dark inner world? Save me now, last beats in the soul.."

    Fonewearl and proud of it!

    I (85%) - N (80%) - F (35%) - P (90%)
    O: 94% C: 18% E: 21% A: 94% N: 38%
    9w1 (SP, SX, SO)
    (9, 5, 4)
    RCUAI (Primary Calm)

  7. #37
    Senior Member Jeremy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    +1

    Seems funny that we tend to get lumped together with something (convention/tradition) that goes counter to what the temperament is all about.
    It's something I don't get. NTs are often considered very different from NFs, even if both of them are quite similar in terms of information processing. SPs on the other hand are seen as only a few organized folders and a clean desk away from being SJs.
    "Can you set me free from this dark inner world? Save me now, last beats in the soul.."

    Fonewearl and proud of it!

    I (85%) - N (80%) - F (35%) - P (90%)
    O: 94% C: 18% E: 21% A: 94% N: 38%
    9w1 (SP, SX, SO)
    (9, 5, 4)
    RCUAI (Primary Calm)

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeremy View Post
    I'm just myself around everyone. I don't really take it into account whether someone is an N or an S.. It's not like we speak different languages.
    I don't think the point is to be fake, but maybe to approach a conversation with someone else in a way that both parties can enjoy it and relate. Talking about symbolism or hidden meanings in a cartoon isn't likely to appeal to an S, so it might not be the best angle to start off a conversation.

    Or, for another example, I try to be a little better about summing up my feelings when talking to my INTJ friend. She's not really the one to go to if I want to rant and blab about my innermost emotional life. I'm still being genuine, but trying to express myself in a way that won't make her want to stop talking to me. Then, we can have a good conversation and I can hear her insights and learn from what she has to say.
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

  9. #39
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    I
    Jeffster, I love you ... And your down-to-earth posts dazzle me with their forthright beauty.
    Love you too, babe! Thanks.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

    "I like the sigs with quotes in them from other forum members." -- Oberon

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  10. #40
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I'm wondering how you know someone is an S if you can't communicate with them? It seems like some communication would be necessary to understand them enough to know their type with confidence. Unless, you know, you're typing them as S based on the fact that you can't communicate
    -end of thread-

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